<p>Great Article. Perhaps there might be some modifications to present policy.</p>
<p>Should</a> colleges talk to parents about their kids? - CNN.com</p>
<p>“to take the gas out of the helicopters.”–I LOVE that line…</p>
<p>If you are concerned about your child, how about setting up something with their roommate? I know freshman year our kids’ roommates parents and I swapped cell phone numbers so if our child didn’t show up and couldn’t be found the roommate could contact us. Never needed it.</p>
<p>If you have done your job as a parent, an 18 year old going off to college should be MORE than capable of dealing with pretty much everything that comes up on a college campus. If they can’t, they SHOULD be able to figure out who to call and as a last resort, call you for ideas.</p>
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<p>I don’t see why the parent has to be the last resort. </p>
<p>I suspect that for many kids, parents are the second resort. After Google.</p>
<p>We swapped numbers with the roommate and parents, also. The first month into freshman year, D1 was one of a group of students and staff who got severe food poisoning. The roommate was able to call us and tell us that D was being taken by ambulance to the hospital after collapsing and hitting her head.</p>
<p>Marian–what exactly is a parent going to do if a child is having a roommate issue, needs help in a class, needs to talk to a professor, has a scheduling issue, etc., etc., etc. The child SHOULD know to talk to the RA, go to the peer tutoring center, make an appointment with the prof, go to the registrar’s office BEFORE they call home. College is a time for an ADULT to start acting like one.</p>
<p>I have a silly, my kid is a doofus story, in this vein. D2 left her laptop charging in a lab where she was working and stepped out to get coffee. Came back and it was gone. Multiple sobbing calls were made to mom and dad, countless woeful text messages to all and sundry, topped with a raging post on Facebook took all afternoon. Finally, I got exasperated and asked “but did you go to the lost and found?” Well that was just the most shocking, naive silly suggestion ever. But that’s where it was. And I say with complete seriousness that it never, ever crossed her mind to look there.</p>
<p>I believe colleges should be open and transparent about the bills and the bill paying and for the most part they are or have separate logins and access to that information. I believe parents should be notified if students are about to be kicked out the dorms because of drugs or alcohol (before they get kicked out). I think if a college knows a student has been transported to a hospital they should be able to contact the parents. I do not think colleges need to share grades or discuss things related to the academics. If I did not think my kids were emotionally “ready” to go to sleep away college I would not send them for all the things SteveMA is talking about. Realistically they should be doing all the academic navigation, waking themselves up, etc. in high school, doing laundry and cleaning up after themselves so college is just a different bedroom, a different set of teachers, a different counseling office. tutors. It’s actually easier to get access to all those things in college than in some high schools.</p>
<p>Zoosermom, our elementary and high schools have big barrels that are put out sporadically in the hallway and the office staff puts a sign on them that says “Lost something, look here” because the kids never even think to go into the office and ask about lost and found. Amazing things are in those barrels. I’m sure you had a headache that afternoon.</p>
<p>We never swapped numbers. But when DD had a health emergency one of her roommates called us from DD’s cell phone. She had us listed as “parents”.</p>
<p>We made friends with D’s friends. If we were truly concerned and had not heard from her, we would have multiple avenues to check on her. So far that hasn’t been necessary. She often calls with a problem or concern that most “adults” would know how to handle - but she doesn’t because frankly, she has not had much experience at being an adult. We’re not a last resort for guidance, we’re the first resort. We also made arrangements with her to have access to grade information and financial stuff to - so we could see “warning signs” of any trouble. Haven’t really had any concerns to speak of though. If you make the arrangements ahead of time with your kids, it makes things easier.</p>
<p>From my vantage point not all 18 year olds are created equal. I know some that I would entrust with the care of my first born infant, and others that I wouldn’t consider responsible enough to entrust with my pet. So, I think parents have to know their children well and act accordingly in a proactive manner.
Yes, I would love for there to be a system in place whereby I would be notified if my child were taken to an emergency room, or was in danger of expulsion or on academic probation. Yes, if the institution was aware of serious mental health issues, I would want to know. Who better to help a young adult through these issues before they become irreversibly damaging to their future?
So, yes, for at least the first two years of college, I will have that talk with my child and get the appropriate paperwork in place.</p>
<p>I agree that in an emergency the college should call the parents with no questioned asked and no student permission needed. Our D has had to deal with things that we would have difficulty figuring out. She got stopped entering the states by homeland security because her visa was not correct. She was basically under arrest except that they would allow her to make calls but could not return to Canada. She didn’t waste time calling us, she knew exactly who call on campus and it took about 3 hours to get things cleared but she handled it herself. She is an RA and again has handled things that we shiver about when she tells us. The college life is the first real step into adulthood and they can handle it, but even in my job we have an emergency contact for each person</p>
<p>“I think if a college knows a student has been transported to a hospital they should be able to contact the parents.”</p>
<p>Well, yes. Where my kid goes, the parents are contacted. If excess alcohol intake was involved they also get the bill for the event. Usually runs about $2500.</p>
<p>If the students get admitted in hospital or if they behave rudely then the colleges should contact parents but not for the academics!!</p>
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<p>Isn’t that releasing medical information without permission if the kid is over 18 unless the kid has already signed waivers? And I’m assuming from the way you write that the $2500 is a fine and not a medical bill, but either way, I think the kid would actually have to give permission for the parents to see it unless they are on their parents insurance (in which case the parents will see it on the insurance statement but hopefully not pay $2500 out of pocket).</p>
<p>eireann–realistically parents will get the bill for ANY ambulance ride unless the child is not on their health insurance plan.</p>
<p>Yes, I specified that – but that’s an insurance policy, not a college policy.</p>
<p>The post was framed like this college will always inform and bill parents – and that as a blanket policy I don’t think is legal unless students have signed waivers. If the bill is a fine coming from the college, the parents aren’t going to see it unless they’re already paying all college bills – which not all parents are. We didn’t have college bills mailed to my parents – I had to give them to them – and I’d never assume that they’d just pay something like this.</p>
<p>If the bill is coming from the ER, the student could actually make the decision to pay cash (assuming they have it – I never would have but I’m sure some do) and then it wouldn’t go through insurance and their parents wouldn’t see it. I don’t think the colleges can actually have a policy to inform and bill parents with the laws that exist right now.</p>
<p>eireann–the bill would come from the ambulance company and likely not giving the option to pay upfront. I can’t see how the “college” could bill for an ambulance ride unless they owned the ambulance. I would say that the poster that posted that comment is basing that on hearsay and probably not actual fact.</p>
<p>If an 18 year old (or a 14 year old and older in most states really) don’t want their parents to have access to their medical information, there is a form they can sign and all those bills, statements, etc. are mailed to them, not their parents…but if you are in MY family and choose to do that, you also get to PAY that bill :D.</p>
<p>HIPAA laws don’t work quite the way most people think either. Sending a bill and an EOB is not the same as “releasing medical information”, especially if you are the guarantor on the account.</p>
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<p>Yeah, that’s really my point, that the college can’t just inform the parents. I do understand that parents will always see insurance statements, but I know people who work around that by paying out of pocket. Not usually college students, no, but sometimes someone who for example doesn’t want psychiatric care on their medical record. Anyway, I completely agree with what you’re saying that parents will usually find out (and hopefully from their student) but colleges can’t just inform parents as a blanket policy, which is what was said.</p>
<p>If that is indeed the policy for that college, they could send a bill that says “ambulance ride” and nothing more and if the parents call, they will have to say “I can only talk to your child about this”. There are plenty of ways they could get around the notification issue. I still don’t believe that the college just sends a bill because an ambulance ride was alcohol related though.</p>