<p>You don’t have to tell him like people have been saying. This is especially true if you’re completely or semi in the closet.But if you have a boyfriend who will visit frequently for example, you should probably let him know, but it’s still your business.<br>
Question: is your orientation on Facebook? If it is, it’s pretty much a moot point.One of the first things a person will do after they get an assignment is search on facebook and hit the info tab.</p>
<p>i don’t get why it’s homophobic or hateful to not want to live in the same room as a gay person.</p>
<p>like i think being gay is fine, you know. people can be gay and i have no problem with them. i just don’t want to live in the same ROOM with him. why would i be automatically labeled as hateful or homophobic?</p>
<p>^ you’d be labeled as idiotic first. unless you want to constantly ask your roommate if a girl is hot, he’s the same as you, me, and any other guy.</p>
<p>Because you’re singling out homosexuals as people you don’t want to be around. Sounds homophobic to me.</p>
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<p>Sounds like you need to read the definition of “Homophobic”.
Once again it’s amazing how that word is thrown out of context so much. To put things into perspective though.
I don’t have a personal problem with smokers, but I don’t want to room with one…I must be smokephobic! Odd then that I have friends who smoke. >.></p>
<p>Am I wrong in thinking that most would be uncomfortable with a gay roommate of the same sex because they are afraid he or she will make a move? If this is the case as to why you are uncomfortable, I have no sympathy. You are assuming that every gay individual wishes to have sex with every member of the same sex, which isn’t true.
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How many people want to room with someone of the opposite sex? Is it ignorant/hateful for a male to not want a female roommate? No? So why shouldn’t the same attitude be valid? Because gay-hate has got people so defensive and trigger-happy with accusing others of it that gays either have to be treated better than everyone else or it’s hateful?</p>
<p>I’m all for allowing gay unions, I’m against all the hate preachers, and I probably wouldn’t even mind a gay roommate, as long as we had enough in common. But to accuse others of ignorance or hate for not wanting a homosexual roommate is, itself, ignorant.</p>
<p>Scenario A</p>
<p>Johnnie doesn’t want a gay roommate because he hates gay people.</p>
<p>Scenario B</p>
<p>Johnnie doesn’t want a female roommate. Similarly, he wouldn’t be comfortable with a gay roommate. He has several female and gay friends.</p>
<p>Technically neither of these situations are “homophobic,” since neither include fear, but the first is hateful, while the second is completely logical and understandable.</p>
<p>Gay male IS NOT EQUAL to female. THAT is ignorant. </p>
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It could create many of the same uncomfortable feelings between roommates. It’s a valid concern, and it’s ironic that people who preach against ignorance are the ones viciously attacking people for being understandably uncomfortable.</p>
<p>But these uncomfortable feelings may result from misconceptions. See my first post on this page. If you can provide other concrete reasons for being uncomfortable which aren’t based on misconceptions, I.e. the gay roommate keeps coming on to or sexually molested his roommate, that would be a valid source of discomfort. But notice that this is a specific case and therefore I don’t believe that a valid reason exists to be uncomfortable with a gay roommate BEFORE you meet or get to know him.</p>
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Your gay roommate might not be attracted to you, or they might be. Being concerned about being uncomfortable in your own room hardly stems from a misconception.</p>
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If anything, before you know them is a good time to worry. Hopefully, after you know them, you won’t be concerned, unless they’re the type of guy who goes after just about everyone they’re even somewhat attracted to (I know enough straight guys like this to assume that it’s likely a minority type of behavior present in all types of sexuality).</p>
<p>DolorousEdd, I can see where you’re coming from. But I think the possibility is slim, whether the roommate is a straight female or a gay male, especially when put in a roommate situation because everyone involved probably realizes how bad having romantic feelings would affect the living atmosphere.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable from an assumption that having a gay roommate or a straight opposite-sex roommate could cause one-sided infatuations. Because chances are, from all of the instances I know personally, most won’t result in them. If they do, then you are more than free to feel uncomfortable and seek somewhere else to live. I would too if I found out my roommate had feelings for me, because it would make things awkward. But seriously, most gay guys are well aware of the futility of having a crush on a straight guy.</p>
<p>And although homophobia technically means “fear of homosexuality”, it has picked up the connotation of hatred of homosexuality, which is more commonly accepted as a definition. So in Scenario A, Johnnie is homophobic. I’d say Scenario B, Johnnie needs to relax :P</p>
<p>I’ll be attending the University of Michigan. Large, public, pretty liberal. </p>
<p>I’m planning on getting to know my roommate first and then coming out if everything is going well. I just hope he realizes that even if I were to find him attractive, that doesn’t mean I would hit on him or flirt with him. </p>
<p>I’m thinking it should go well, but I am still just a little concerned.</p>
<p>If you’re bells and whistles flaming then you won’t have to tell, your roommate will find out eventually.</p>
<p>I respect gay people, one of my best friends is gay. But if before I met my roommate they would tell me they are gay, i would be very uncomfortable.
I wouldn’t like to room with a gay person, not because I’m homophobic but because a difference in interests. I don’t think it’s homophobic to not want to room with a gay person. For me it would just make things awkward at first. However if I had a roommate and they were to come out after I got to know them, I wouldn’t have any problem with it. After all they are just people.</p>
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Well, it’s hard to control your romantic feelings.</p>
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Well, they might realize the futility, but they’re still human and not in total control of their emotions. Thus, I understand people being uncomfortable with the possibility.</p>
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I prefer to keep homophobia to mean “fear of gays,” since I dislike calling HATE any name but HATE. It makes it sound less serious.</p>
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Is he also black? :D</p>
<p>(Sorry, I believe you, just laughed a little at the ol’ “My best friend is ______!”)</p>
<p>Dolorous you are still overgeneralizing uncommon behaviors to a whole sexual orientation. </p>
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No I’m not. Please read my posts. I said that I have seen plenty of straight guys who go after pretty much every girl they’re attracted to, so I assume that there are gay guys like that, too. I even refer to it as a minority behavior in both sexualities.</p>
<p>You can’t seem to keep accusations of ignorance out of this discussion, despite the fact that I am being quite logical in assuming that gay individuals have similar behavior distributions as straight individuals. Not being 100% pro-gay in every situation to the point of excluding fair concerns does not equate to not being understanding or logical.</p>
<p>We’ll just simply agree to disagree. You believe it’s necessary to nip a possible problem before it happens, and I believe otherwise. Nbd.</p>
<p>To be honest, sometimes I wonder if it’s better off if people who don’t want gay roommates just switch out early on. It would certainly make it easier on the gay roommate too - I’d hate to live with someone who was constantly worried I’d hit on them.</p>
<p>@DolorousEdd actually he’s Mexican lol</p>