Complicated roommate situation

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Hi everyone,
This is my first post on college confidential. I'm currently a second semester freshman at a small liberal arts college in southeastern Pennsylvania. Although it's been rough at times, I've really enjoyed my overall experience thus far!</p>

<p>I'm posting here to seek advice for dealing with a rather complicated roommate situation. Overall, my roommate and I get along fairly well. We are two totally different people; I'm an English major and enjoy reading, writing, and the outdoors. My roommate is an accounting major, is on our school basketball team, and doesn't do anything that isn't related to sports. Like I said, polar opposites. He constantly has guys from the team playing video games until all hours of the night. Literally almost EVERY night I have to ask them to leave so I can actually get some sleep. </p>

<p>As I expected, living in tight quarters with another human being can be difficult. I am a very neat person and he is well, a total slob (to put it nicely). His side of the room is dirty and actually emits an odor, while mine is always clean. He can't seem to take a hint that he needs to clean up a bit. When it comes time for room checks, I always end up cleaning the bathroom and the common area of our room. Oh well, at least I know it's clean! I'm doing my best to tolerate the fact that he's a slob, because I know I'll never have to room with him again. </p>

<p>That's just a minor problem compared to the reason I really came here seeking advice. So, our school has a religious affiliation and therefore has a set of rules regarding drinking, substance use, and sexual activity on campus. Girls aren't allowed in guys dorms, and guys aren't allowed in girls dorms. My roommate has been breaking this rule since the end of last semester. I full knew what he was doing, and figured I wouldn't say anything as long as I wasn't in the room. </p>

<p>The past two times his girlfriend came into our room, I was present- albeit asleep. I had no knowledge of her sneaking in, until they woke me up multiple times on both occasions to sounds I rather not have heard. I was really angry at him for completely disrespecting my right to my room and for breaking the school rules while I was present. I told him and his girlfriend that I didn't care what went happened on the weekends when I went home, but hooking up while I was present in the room was totally unacceptable. They were extremely embarrassed (like they should be!) and agreed to limit their love making sessions to the weekends. This was about two weeks ago.</p>

<p>Long story short, somebody else told on them. The girlfriend has a big mouth, and I'm sure she's told basically everyone on campus about her encounters in my room. Despite this, I'm afraid they think I'm the one who blew the whistle and got them in trouble. I asked my roommate about the situation earlier today. He asked me if I'm "the snitch" and he got really enraged, punching the walls and doors as he yelled and ran out of the room screaming that he was going to fight whoever told on him. </p>

<p>At this point, I'm kind of fearing for my own physical safety. I feel like someone else put me in a difficult and awkward position and now I don't know how to get out of this unscathed. I want to go and talk to my RDs and let them know that I feel threatened and that my roommate could possibly think I'm the one who told on him, but I don't want to add insult to injury and make the situation worse. I've done my best to be a good roommate and tolerate everything, but I'm almost reached my breaking point. </p>

<p>Does anyone have ANY advice on what I should do? I feel so confused and dumbfounded by this whole mess. </p>

2

<p>bro get some chicks of your own</p>

3

<p>Please ignore the moronic advice above^^^^</p>

<p>No one should have to fear for their safety in their own room. Follow your instincts and speak to your RDs as soon as possible. It may be that your roommate will have cooled down by then but that really doesn’t matter at this point. At the very least, the RD/RA will sit down with the two of you and make sure the roommate understands that his treatment of you in this case is completely unacceptable. I imagine that your housing is costing your parents money and while you don’t mention whether you’ve discussed this with them, they would probably be both angry that you’ve been put in this position and very worried about you.</p>

4

<p>Wow he is showing himself a jerk in every way. Blowing up at you when he is the one in the wrong? You put him on notice and decided to look the other way as long as you weren’t around but now he puts you in such an awkward situation you shouldn’t feel bad if you want it to be over and talk to the RD.</p>

5

<p>Talk to the RA and ask if he can have the housing director inform your roomie that it was not you who snitched - that can be done without compromising the confidentiality of whoever it is that did snitch. And then be sure to snitch about the alcohol in the room. If you are at the school I think you are at (daughter looked at it but went elsewhere) and alcohol is found in the room YOU can be in trouble. You don’t want to run the risk of your roomie placing his booze on your side of the room to set you up,or it simply being found on either side of the room and reported.</p>

6

<p>I thought about posting yesterday but all I could come up with was to talk to your RA. I would probably say something like “dude, it wasn’t me but it could have been, you knew this was bugging me” which I am not sure is actually helpful. </p>

7

<p>

</p>

<p>Upon further reflection, I think we all disregarded this statement. You shouldn’t have to feel this way for another minute. Time to go have a talk with those in charge. This guy needs to be removed from your room for threatening you.</p>