<p>Some families’ dynamics are that shallow. Whether or not it is considered desirable, it is true that parents have almost* absolute veto power over a student’s college choices until s/he is 24, married, or a military veteran, due to the financial aid system’s expectation that they will contribute (they can veto the student’s college choice by refusing to contribute or fill in financial aid forms).</p>
<p>*The only possible exception is if the student gets a full ride that is not considered need-based financial aid that requires parental contribution, and is at least 18 by the time s/he makes the matriculation commitment.</p>
<p>OP, I would look into double majoring. If you have to take a major that you don’t like and aren’t good at, you’ll want a backup. When faced with the reality of how you are doing in school (if indeed you don’t do well in those classes), she may see that it makes sense to drop that major (or you can make it a minor). Who knows? You may do well in those classes and end up liking that field.</p>
<p>“The problem is that you could solve this problem by making the child a legal adult at 18, but then the problem with that is that there are many immature 18 year olds, and most of the time (though not always) the parents do have the best understanding of the child’s maturity.”</p>
<p>The child IS considered a legal adult at 18. It used to be 21, but has not been so for many years (save for buying alcohol). I do not agree with the use of age 24 for a student needing parent input for financial aid if the legal age is 18. It skews things highly in controlling parents’ favor. One wise police officer once said, “Some kids are mature at 16. Other people are still immature at 55.” There IS no right answer here.</p>
<p>And, what one parent considers a “failure” is another parent’s great choice. My ex’s father did not believe music was a “good” major, and refused to pay for his son to major in music, despite the fact that he was an award-winning musician and already on a record by the time he turned 18. It wasn’t even rock and roll, but the kind of music you hear in every major city’s symphony performances. To the engineer dad, music was a failure, so engineering/CS it was or bust. </p>
<p>Contract that to my H’s parents, who completely supported his brother’s desire to be an actor. The brother is now on TV and in movies. You’ve probably seen him. Which one of the two-my ex or my BIL has had a happier life? </p>
<p>So when parents start talking of “failure” I look at that with a really jaundiced eye. Then we’re back to the “parents know better”. Well, they don’t. The person with the pull of a certain interest probably knows better what they will be best at and happiest at, whether it’s science, art or something in the middle. That’s because THEY are the ones with the interest and the skill. There’s a kid on another thread sad because his mother considers teaching a failure. She’d probably go lay in traffic if he went into acting…</p>
<p>@sseamom: Your BIL doesn’t happen to be named Kiefer, does he? </p>
<p>I know of parents that are very controlling (I admit to being a bit that way myself, but I like to think I’m not extreme about it); they almost pride themselves on it. But I have to say, I find their kids to be highly accomplished (it almost makes me wish I had pushed my kids harder). Maybe in years to come the OP will look back and be thankful for his/her upbringing.</p>
<p>I don’t fault any parent for choosing how they want to invest their money. People give money with strings attached all the time … why is this any different? If you don’t like the strings, don’t accept the money/education.</p>
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