<p>My science research teacher said once “I have a person named James living inside of me. He’s rather shy.”</p>
<p>What about “nobody wants to take the fat girl to prom?” -ha my band teacher said that one</p>
<p>“i think i’m going through menopause” my MALE ap bio teacher</p>
<p>My AP Stats teacher and I have a little banter if I’m late to class.
Me: Divin! I object to being late! I plead the fifth on the grounds that i may incriminate myself and I have the right to a jury trial and, and, and…
Divin: Yes?
Me: That’s all I’ve got…
Divin: Nice speach. But this classroom is still a dictatorship, and I’m the Dictator.
Me: Yea, and I’m the leader of the rebel mafia that’s waiting to raid your castle.
Divin: No
Me: ok…
(By the way he is monotone, I mean like legitimately MONOtone, so he’s really funny!)</p>
<p>And then there’s Master Kaster, who is the BEST teacher EVER! His class is THE hardest class in the school, but everyone still loves him even if they aren’t brave enough to take his classes. He refers to homework as “Homefun” I’m not lying. I once told him that I had finally figured out why he called it homefun. He was like “because you have so much doing it?” “No Mr. Kaster. Because YOU have so much fun watching us struggle with it!” He just laughed and tried explaining it to me again. lol But I suck at Chemistry, so it was still hopeless!</p>
<p>Most of them come from my AP Stats teacher and AP Lang teacher, both last year.</p>
<p>“I like well-prepared kids, because the raw ones taste bad” - AP Stats Teacher
“If you were a farmer, you’d be outstanding in your field” - AP Stats Teacher
Among several other puns that came from his mouth.</p>
<p>“Sides is such a great writer that I want to have his babies! … forget that I’ve said that”
Later that day
“Of course that I wouldn’t date students! I have my husband for that… I should shut my mouth” - Both from my AP Lang teacher</p>
<p>To tell the truth, my AP class was… interesting, to say the least, here are some of the several highlights of the class.</p>
<p>*We managed to turn the innocent action of “barn building” into an euphemism for intercourse. This was all because a kid made a comment on how despite the puritans being, well, puritans, they still had to do what they had to do, such as building barns.</p>
<p>*The class was creating a wiki on organ donation and trafficking. Somehow, a kid found an “organ-selling website,” which sold… church organs. Later that day some people were flooding the wiki with pictures of church organs.</p>
<p>*For some reason, air-headed me decided to start an argument on how abstinence leads to abortion, as by not producing babies, we are technically not allowing them to live. I sort of puzzled and angered a lot of classmates that day…</p>
<p>*We also had to argue about same-sex marriage on a blog. Being snarky, I “swiftly” argued how same-sex marriages is “destroying” America, and then I proceeded to satirically bash and compare it to miscegenation and I also argued how we should go further and ban mixed-raced marriages to lampoon the traditional marriage side. Some classmates caught on my satire and made satirical comments themselves, some that even borderline on offensiveness, while others did not catch the satire and took the jokers for serious, and it all snowballed from there. The teacher later deleted the post as it got out of hand.</p>
<p>*Speaking of the blog, I kept on creating controversy by disagreeing with the majority just for kicks-and-giggles. One time I got into a heated argument with a girl to the point that we had made a page full of arguments filled with citations to other websites. The AP Lang teacher gave us extra credit points for this.</p>
<p>*Surprisingly, even though the majority of the class got a four on the AP exam, only two people got a five, one was from a kid who never did his homework, and the other was from a kid who slept through half of the classes.</p>
<p>My French 4 teacher:
We were doing comparisons and my friend was describing Lance Armstrong, because she likes to bike.
Teacher: Lance Armstrong, BOOOOOOOOOO!!!</p>
<p>also my AP Lang teacher always tells us crazy stories about when he went to europe with his friends when he was 20 and ran out of money so was homeless in europe for 4 years, like sleeping in a tree at versailles and sneaking into hostels</p>
<p>One teacher at my school makes holocaust jokes and says “ratchet hoes”.</p>
<p>My Art History teacher is extremely quirky and makes all sorts of fun comparisons…and mistakes.</p>
<p>One day he was talking about the “Rape of Persephone” (sculpture by Bernini), and was describing how Hades was grabbing her thigh and was about to rape her in the sculpture.</p>
<p>What came out was: “So, guys…see how his hand is pressed up against her thigh? He’s GRAPING HER! <em>class laughs</em> I meant grabbing and raping… hahaha!”</p>
<p>“The Civil War was caused by fiery, passionate sectional tension.”
^Say it out loud if you don’t get it.</p>
<p>My teacher once called out a bunch of kids sitting in the back who talk over her all the time. She said, “Every day you guys chatter whenever I’m speaking. I may let it go except none of you even get good grades.” It was very accurate but inappropriate.</p>
<p>Last year my physics 1 professor said if someone had their phone out during class he would drop it in a container of liquid nitrogen and then electrocute it with his tesla coil. Apparently he’s actually done this before too, according to people that used to be in his class. I don’t know how he doesn’t get sued.</p>
<p>When I was in high school, one of my English teachers would refer to homework as “home learning,” and she would also say “pass it up for credit” anytime we needed to turn something in. These were her two little catchphrases. I had another English teacher who would always say “Comments, questions, quesadillas?” after explaining an assignment.</p>
<p>AP Euro: “■■■■■■■■ Eastern Europe.” -Mr. Harold Walters, everyone.</p>
<p>Girl in my class ( to english teacher ) : I forgot my notebook at home .
Teacher ( with thinly veiled contempt ) : Really ? Why didn`t you forget yourself , then ?</p>
<p>EVERY.DAY.</p>
<p>In the process of trying to make a point about agriculture…</p>
<p>“How many of you have eaten a pork product in the past two days? Probably all of you. Except [Muslim girl in class].”</p>
<p>My teacher had to plug in her laptop to charge it, and the nearest outlet was farther away than the cord could reach, so she had to put the laptop on a student’s desk. Bad choice of words though…“Let me lay on top of your desk”.</p>
<p>Haha. My art teacher one day started to name the snowflakes in the window - “look at them…they’re so big…they’re like pets falling from the sky! look there’s fido and rufus and bud!”</p>
<p>My high school teacher (eons ago) was an old man who used to greet everyone’s 1st day in class with <mean look="" on="" his="" face="">, “If you don’t listen and are disruptive, I can’t hit you. The school policies won’t let me. BUT,…the door might hit you…or the wall…or the table…”</mean></p>
<p>My AP Chemistry teacher used to be an Officer in the Army, and regularly says things like, “most excellent” and “standby”. He’s really about respect, and always apologizes for disrespecting students for the most trivial reasons. Also - he refers to calculator, periodic table, and textbook (any lab material) as our friend Mr. ______________.</p>