<p>My teacher to my friend: You have no friends… Bazinga
Me: Did you just Bazinga her?</p>
<p>I think it’s one of those stories where you have to be there but oh well!</p>
<p>“You’ll really need to study this!”
Doesn’t study. Gets a perfect score.</p>
<p>Me: <em>answers question incorrectly</em>
Teacher: Tell them you’re lying or I won’t let you smoke in class anymore!</p>
<p>At my public school, an 80-something year old substitute once recited the entire Hamlet To Be or Not To Be soliloquy. From memory. In math class.</p>
<p>The football coach came in to talk to the teacher. She starts squealing. Coach leaves.</p>
<p>Class: “What?”
Teacher: “Coach Beamer’s gonna be here tomorrow!”
Class: “Who?”
Teacher: “Football coach for Tech!”</p>
<p>Somebody is a bit obsessed…</p>
<p>Granted, her room is covered in VT and VMI stuff…</p>
<p>Something to the effect of </p>
<p>Teacher: “Dr. W at the Glenns campus is having a senior women’s tea thing and she wanted to know if any girls were interested in going. So raise your hand if you are.”
<em>three girls and four boys raise their hands</em>
Teacher: <em>grumpy face</em></p>
<p>It was hilarious but you’d have to see it</p>
<p>Math Teacher: “We have two options for today. We can have diet Calculus or we can have Calculus with all the calories.”
Student: “Can we have Calculus zero instead?”</p>
<p>English Teacher: “Honor students don’t have friends”</p>
<p>Band: “Don’t feed my floor!”</p>
<p>My band teacher constantly yells at boys but is really lenient on girls. This really pretty girl last year transferred out of his class last year because he had made her cry, even though she originally thought that the band teacher was her favorite one. He’s a pretty complex figure.</p>
<p>AP Bio teacher- she is rather short, around late 40s. She was passing back tests scores while walking down the rows, humming tunes happily. Then she came to an abrupt stop, jaw drops, looks at the test score on the paper then back at the student and says: “Lawd Jaysus… you is screwed, s0n!”</p>
<p>My physics teacher is probably the weirdest 50 year old guy ever. Most of it comes from blunt honesty. Friday before prom: “Alright kids, make good choices…wear a condom…and don’t get too wasted so when you take your AP exam Monday you’re not taking a three hour test with a hangover.” Another classic: “You know when you look at some couples and its like, why are they together? Well, maybe the sex is really good…”</p>
<p>My band director also has an entire Facebook page dedicated to his -isms.</p>
<p>And my Spanish teacher on Thursday (after dropping a bunch or plastic ware on the floor for our burrito party): “just throw those in the trash, they’re no good. Do you know how many weird diseases you’ll get from that? Not worth it”</p>
<p>Our geometry teacher had this up on the board when we were learning about triangle congruence theorems. “Angle-Side-Side is so wrong, butt yet so right.”</p>
<p>"[Me] don’t judge me but I’m making the UVa logo really small and the Tech one really big."</p>
<p>“I might even secretly put a Mr. Yuck face on it.”</p>
<p>Once my Spanish teacher drew a stick figure on the board, and put a sombrero on it. </p>
<p>She said:
“This is Pablo”
<em>Points to hat</em>
“Yeah, he’s probably got some marijuana in there”</p>
<p>As my german teacher put it, “The Genitive case is possessive because you OWN your genitals!”
interesting guy…</p>
<p>“Repede, you’re wrong.”</p>
<p>I know right, crazy?</p>
<p>Apush teacher “excitement is when the guy takes your clothes off. Arousal is when you take your own clothes off”</p>
<p>Same teacher but in human geo " since you guys think that we have a population problem, none of you will get drunk at homecoming I presume"</p>
<p>English and Japanese Teachers: You’re struggling because you’re the honors students/class.</p>
<p>I TA for my physics teacher during his plan period. One day we were bored and decided to figure out how long it took to get ordained as a minister online, so we found a Church that let you get ordained and did so. After class we walked out to the hallway and he went up to every couple that was making out and told them he was going to marry them.</p>
<p>My Human Geography teacher is quite possibly the most rude and snarky woman I’ve ever met and I love her to death.</p>
<p>She mentioned something about Harlem, to which a freshman in my class responded “Do the Harlem Shake!” and started dancing. She stared at him for a second, said “Why do you exist?” and continued teaching like nothing had happened.</p>