<p>If they will allow her to go to Summer Sessions--if available--that could be a good way to get back on track without the pressure of a full load. Summer classes tend to be a little more laid back and she could easily handle two classes over an 8 week session. With a couple of B's she could be off probation and get a fresh start as a wiser sophomore.</p>
<p>I might also suggest that for the fall semester, she stick to 12-14 credits rather than trying to overload to catch up. This will give her a chance to focus on a few classes and really give them her all. Some schools do limit the number of credits kids on academic probation can take. This is done not to punish, but to help the student.</p>
<p>I think Carolyn offered some wonderful advice. This will give you some idea of the framework and environment that she is working under. But on a pragmatic basis, it would be wise to schedule an appointment with her advisor before the school goes on automatic pilot and decides the consequences for her. There may be some options that someone at the school can suggest. You will be at a disadvantage dealing with this at home with a letter from the school in hand. Kids sometimes just hole up and put their heads in the sand when a setback occurs, just hoping it goes away. Sometimes it does, but in this case by not discussing it with the college, you may miss out on a pertinant alternative.</p>
<p>I spoke with my D tonight and it seems that she had a bout of depression after the Chrismas break and "barely got out of bed for a couple of weeks". That was a complete shock to me as we talk every couple of days and I hadn't picked up anything in her voice. Looking back, I can see some of the signs - wanting to come home every weekend, always being on the internet when she used to be out doing things, calling me at night just to chat, etc. Luckily she was able to pull herself out of it. When I asked why she didn't tell me, she said that she didn't want to scare me and thought that she could handle it herself.
As for the failure...
She claims to have completed every assignment in the failed class ( apparently assignments are sent out by email and are also on the syllabus) but did say that for this particular class, attendance is taken account during the grading. Most of her papers/tests were in the C range, and she felt as though she did OK on the final. Perhaps missing too many classes and not doing terribly well on the final put her into the failing range. She also does not participate much in class and does not relate at all to this particular professor. </p>
<p>After a rough mid year she has come to love her school, and is really looking forward to next year. We have discussed signing up for tutoring and getting a handle on her time management and study skills and she seems to be very excited about a making a new start Sophmore year. She will be calling the Dean tomorrow to discuss what her options are - hopefully they will give her another chance.
Thank you all again for the wonderful support and advice.</p>
<p>Your daughter sounds an awful lot like me during my 2nd year in college.
(mini-essay!)
I came through secondary school and my first year in college without really putting in an awful lot of work, and without ever developing really good solid study skills. Then when the difficulty kicked up a notch in 2nd year (mathematical physics major, courses that year were stuff like differential equations, classical mechanics, special relativity...) I was screwed. I didn't know how to handle the new, more difficult material at all. And I failed pretty much everything in the exams. (80% of our grades were for the final). I studied over the summer, retook the exams, and made B's. But realistically I didn't have the foundation for higher level material, and crashed and burned again in 3rd year. 4 weeks ago I withdrew from all my classes. I couldn't face my inevitable exam failure again. I've now decided to change major. There's no way I could have completed that degree. Come September, I'll be taking 2nd year classes as a computer science major. I'll graduate in 6 years instead of 4. I'll have 9000 euro debt that I wouldn't have had otherwise (btw, I get no money from my parents for college, but I live at home). But I'll be much happier. And to me that's what is important. </p>
<p>There's a lot of support out there for struggling students. And there should be a lot of people she can talk to. Best of luck to your daughter. It'll all work out for her in the end.</p>
<p>SEEK CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) on your campus if you're having problems with stress, lack of motivation and other cognitive - behavioral - emotional - physiological symptons. I am currently taking a stress management course and have weekly sessions with my psychologist. It was the best decision I could have ever made. My stress level was above my head, my grades were deteiorating (not failing, but I was making mostly Bs when I knew I could do the work) and my mom always asked why I was pessimistic in our conversations. </p>
<p>I suffered from the emotional and physiological symptons of stress which is NOT GOOD for the body. I am more relaxful now and my grades are gradually improving again. I hope to do well on my finals so that I will maintain whatever GPA I have now. Please PLEASE seek CAPS or tutoring sessions. If you're getting "B-"s or below on your assignments, it's a sign you must seek a tutor immediately or drop out of the course. </p>
<p>Freshman year is also an adjustment. I have a C from freshman year only because it was a Calculus class where everyone bombed the final. This is also a sign for your D if she's taking the right courses for her major (if she can't do well in the work, switch majors quickly!). It's not worth a mediocre transcript if she has post-grad dreams. If she cannot maintain a 3.0 or above, switch majors!!! People can do well in college as long as they have time management, a support group, pursuing the RIGHT major that interests them (and they can do well in) and limit their involvement with parties and ECs.</p>
<p>BB, Reading your post - the part about "active social life" and "9 am class" sounded sooooo familiar. A friend of ours came home for a semester under similar circumstances. Some schools and/or professors will enforce a strict policy that > X (maybe, 6) absences = automatic F. Sounds like your D may have failed solely due to lack of attendence. You should definitely find out. If that is the case I would actually view that as good news, since she can do the work.</p>
<p>I completely understand what your daughter is going through to a certain extent. I just finished my freshmen year at binghamton and I had a similar problem my first semester.</p>
<p>My first semester I was tripled with 2 roommates. We shared nothing in common and our room situation was extremely awkward. They would always stay up all night and I had 3 830 classes in the mornings that i couldnt miss. Furthermore, their girlfriends would always stay for the weekends and I could not study for my tests with such a racket. The last straw was when they were having sex the night before my 830 Macroeconomics final. I had to pull an all nighter for a final and needless to say I was not pleased... I did not fail any classes but the Cs were a wake up call.</p>
<p>This semester I moved into a double in the same hall 2 floors up with one of my good friends on campus and the whole situation was so much easier. We relate to one another and we were able to work out our problems when we did have them. We would always socialize on weekends and I was given privacy when i had major tests or papers. This Semester I got 2 Bs, A- and an A and Im pleasantly surprised... I think many factors can deffinitely influence your college work habits.</p>
<p>I think the best thing to do is not to put too much pressure on her, but let her know that you just want what is best for her. Just tell her to work on her study habits and tell her not to get depressed... tell her she should use it as a motivation to set higher goals and to work harder.</p>
<p>It sounds like your daughter may have had a classic case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Not sure if she is going to school in a Northern area of the country, but it is very common here. I remember struggling with it when I went to college. I highly recommended to my kids that they avoid 8 am classes in the winter semester if at all possible--fall semester wasn't a problem. The lack of sunlight in the winter tends to depress our body systems so that we have problems just getting up and getting going. My alma mater (Michigan Tech in the far north reaches of Michigan) now offers students and staff sessions in full spectrum? light booths that trick the body into thinking it is springtime to help counter the depression that is so prevalent in the winter! If this might be your daughter's situation, it is important that she identify the signs and read more about SAD...exercise is extremely important to counter the affects of lack of sunlight. I am afraid that the US government playing with Daylight Savings Time will create a longer period of winter darkness that will only adversely affect our students!</p>
<p>bb
Take heart, the first few weeks after winter break is a very common time for kids to feel homesick and depressed. After fumbling their way through the first semester making new friends and trying to figure out where they fit in, they come home in Dec. and reconnect with their comfort zone, their families and the friends they have known for years. A few weeks later, in the dead of winter, they must once again say their goodbyes to everything familiar and return to their new environment. There is not the same level of excitement as when they left in August and many kids have a harder time adjusting to the second semester than to the first.</p>
<p>This happened to my son and completely took us by surprise since he was thrilled with his first semester. We spoke to my son's HS GC and he said that this was not uncommon and that it usually passes in a few weeks, and it did. He has just successfully completed his soph. year at the same school and absolutely loves it. Sometime these kids just hit a speed bump. </p>
<p>It sounds as if your D went through a rough patch but is now moving in the right direction. She was able to identify the source of the problem and is taking actions to help insure it won't happen again. She is learning a great life skill. Keep listening and telling her how much you believe in her ability to succeed. She sounds like she is really figuring it all out. Good luck.</p>
<p>This sort of thing has happened to more than a few people.</p>
<p>One issue with it is to make it a personal goal to achieve a certain grade average. WIthout a specific goal, many kids just drift. After all, in college, you can miss any given class period without it being a big deal. Once you begin to do that (often because kids don't realize that you can't stay up til 3:30 AM doing whatever and expect to even hear the alarm clock at 7:30).....well, it becomes a downward spiral You've misse a week or more of classes and are embarassed to show up. </p>
<p>Couple this with an ingrained study habit that an hour or so of prearation ought to be adequate for anything, and you have a very tough uphill climb.</p>
<p>Seek some on campus "help". They've seen this before. Unfortunately, I think this behavior is more male-centric, and not as "acceptable" in females. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>editorial assistance from VOE (voice of experience)</p>
<p>bb, Hugs to you. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your daughter. I know it must have been a shock to hear about her bout with depression, but I found out with my own daughter last year that kids often do try to shield their parents when things like this happen. Of course, it is even harder to tell what they are feeling when they are no living at home --- the fact that she was so open about this with you now is good. I appreciate your mentioning the depression aspect because I think this is very very common for kids away from home for the first time. It's an important reminder to all of us parents. And, it sounds like this is not a case of your daughter not being able to do the work, but rather her feeling overwhelmed in other ways.
Again, hugs to you and your daughter and I suspect that next year will be much better for her.</p>
<p>Hugs here too, bb. The freshman year is so hard. Life on your own is overwhelming, no matter how successful you have been in high school. The adjustment isn't always smooth. Reading your posts has reminded me of some of the old issues and feelings I dealt with my freshman and subsequent years. But like Northstarmom pointed out, often we get another chance and being the wiser are able to make wonderful things happen. And, as Carolyn said, it IS an important reminder to all of us parents. How lucky your daughter is to have a mom to love her through all of her bumps and bruises. Best wishes for your daughter and for you.</p>
<p>Just another thought here...were the classes core and not in an area of strength/interest? My GPA was much lower (abysmally low) my freshman year, back when I thought perhaps I was pre-med material. My talents were in the humanties/social sciences and it took me two years to discover and embrace this. I did have some heavier semesters to make up for some dropped classes, but I managed to graduate on time.</p>
<p>Thank you, bbcakes, for the update.</p>
<p>It sounds like your daughter is aware of what went wrong, and that's a very good sign. In addition, the difficulties she experienced were very common. It is typical for students, particularly, freshmen to get depressed and homesick. Add to that, they typically are exhausted after keeping late hours, getting into the social whirl, and being stressed by various new things from having roommates to having to be responsible for organizing their own lives. </p>
<p>Many students also get physically sick, too, first semester because of adjusting to new climates and because due to stress and lack of parental oversight (no one tells them to eat their veggies!), the students' resistance to disease weakens.</p>
<p>Please remind your daughter that depression is a treatable illness that the college counseling center is very equipped to handle. It is not a character flaw! </p>
<p>When I was in grad school, I was a counselor at my campus counseling center. Most of the students who came in had problems similar to your daughter's.</p>
<p>The counseling center helped them with revising their study habits so as to adjust to college, and the counseling center gave them advice and support on social issues, homesickness, roommate problems, etc. Some counseling centers even help mediate roommate disputes. The counselors are also familiar with the campus and its resources, so can guide lonely students to activities where they are likely to find friends. </p>
<p>College counseling centers are friendly, supportive places, and I hope she'll check out hers when she needs some extra support.</p>
<p>P.S. Your daughter is fortunate to have such a caring mother who took the time to find and post on this board. Kudos to you!</p>
<p>Aw, good luck BBCakes. I just read this thread now and don't have much to add...you've gotten some great advice here from Carolyn, Jamimom, NSM (the usual suspects), and others.</p>
<p>Hi All, it looks like good news. D called the school and was told that she could make up her failures with summer classes. The dean has to give final approval, but it looks like she is on her way to clearing up this situation. I have to once again thank all of you for your help and advice. What a kind and wonderful group of people. Who would have thought that complete strangers could be so caring and concerned for my D. I have never posted to an internet forum in my life! I've been lurking here for so long and have learned so much about the college admissions process and more. Not only is this an incredible resource for information, but it's also like a family of folks who really care about one another. I was truly touched by the kindness extended to me by complete strangers. Thanks to all of you, and cyber hugs back to you as well.
Thanks again,
BB</p>
<p>bbcakes, I haven't been any help to you in this process, but I am so very glad for you that things will work out this summer for your daughter. I am sure your relief is amazing. And CC is a wonderful resource and source of comfort. Very happy for you!</p>
<p>Wonderful news, BBcakes.</p>
<p>Taking classes at a local community college may be helpful.</p>