<p>I know my D went through the same thing last year and I think I added a whole lot of new gray hairs. I think Newmassdad says it well with they don't see time like we do. I also found that she didn't think about that some of the schools even though they had Dec or Jan deadline dates had rolling admissions and the earlier in the more chance of merit aid. They also don't understand that the teachers would really appreciate more then a few days to write the rec.
I also see fear as a big factor. Most of these kids have had few rejections in their lives. I did push heavy for her to send off an out of state public that I knew she would be happy to attend and had a quick turnaround if you applied early. I printed it out and left it sitting on her bed with a note that I really wanted it done by a certain date. It also had the added benefit of having no essay if you had above a certain gpa and SAT score. Making it a quick 30 minute app. When that acceptance came it seemed to help ease a little pressure. But as much as I pushed and nagged her most of the apps went out close to the deadlines.</p>
<p>My D will procrastinate given almost anything. The Homecoming dress is purchased that week, homework is completed the night before (with little time to spare) and the car gets filled up only when it reaches empty. </p>
<p>So, of course she doesn't deal with the college process any differently.</p>
<p>We are going through the same thing here. D "doesn't want to talk about it" in most emphatic terms. I'm looking at the calendar.... She says she wants to visit East coast schools when they are in session- that will take some planning - but no list -. Her hs will be doing block scheduling, with her varsity xcountry schedule, + youth symphony schedule+ 4 AP classes-how do you pull kids out of school to fly Ak to NY?(we get a week of parent-teacher conferences early Nov, hs runs short days, many seniors manage to escape for last visits this week) She finally signed up to take SAT's and ACT's in Oct, but when I talk about prep classes, she shuts me out again. She has a high GPA, but freaks on standardized tests. I'm worried. I know she's scared. The BF leaves for college in two weeks. She is seeing the exodus of many friends. Time is spent avoiding MOM.</p>
<p>Just a reminder from an "old hand" from last year. In a similarly topicked thread, I posted that S was non-responsive re college choices/thoughts etc. throughout the summer. (We had done our visits in April and June). Nothing, nada. He had done a little on essays as his school scheduled that with the Seniors.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, he emerged with no prompting from us at all one October day to announce his first choice, his other possibles and then proceeded to knock-off the apps and the essays in a relatively compact time frame (with Mom doing a lot of the grunt work, but he doing, of course, all the substance).</p>
<p>Have faith!</p>
<p>I agree with jmmom and newmassdad. It's very hard to feel a sense of urgency in late August, at home, without the shared pressure of fellow seniors. Once back in school, it will feel different. </p>
<p>A couple of issues that could be discussed now: which teacher to ask recs from? is there any need to retake standardized tests? (if that is likely to meet resistance, let it drop).</p>
<p>Hi all! Haven't posted in awhile- this topic is alive and well at my house!<br>
I like Carolyn's idea about blitzing the aps one weekend in October. Maybe I will suggest that one! DD was quiet on first day of senior year- I thought she would be really excited...go figure.</p>
<p>"I like Carolyn's idea about blitzing the aps one weekend in October. "</p>
<p>Unless it's the last weekend, for the aps due November 1, good luck...</p>
<p>Mominpotent, I can't lay claim to that idea - someone else suggested it, not me. My daughter also wasn't jumping for joy at the start of senior year this morning, I think the past few weeks the fact that this is the start of the end of life as she knows it has sunk in and she's not quite in the "how exciting college is going to be!" phase yet.</p>
<p>In the 10 days since my d has been back from summer camp, I realized I was nagging her about college and she was avoiding me-- so after some thought, I decided that we were going to set up a 10-20 minute "meeting" once a week. I promised her I wouldn't talk college outside our scheduled meeting time and if I did we would only have to meet for 5 minutes instead of the 10 to 20 minute period. We had our first session Saturday and she was actually ok with this idea. She actually asked questions and didn't run away from me. (How refreshing) I brought some cookies to the "meeting" and said I'd bring refreshments to all our sessions. She said she's rather have $10. We talked-she asked questions-I didn't nag. I gave her the money. It was worth it. I'll let you know how the next session goes.</p>
<p>Great idea Marny. One I may have to adopt myself, especially the cookies part. :)</p>
<p>I went to schools I had never visited. No regrets. </p>
<p>I moved abroad to countries I had never visited. Twice. No regrets.</p>
<p>S1 balked at the work part of the apps too. Mind you, they were due in the middle of his Bursary exams. I let him drop three colleges off the list--all ones we visited. He applied to four schools. One insane reach, two matches, one absolute safety. He had visited two of the schools. He decided to attend one he hadn't visited. No regrets there either. </p>
<p>It's hard to lose at this game. So says me.</p>
<p>D has agreed to a "dedicated" weekend! Looks like she'll spend Labor Day weekend laboring over her essays (unless she skips Homecoming, every other weekend til the end of October is booked).</p>
<p>She also got her semifinalist notification today (yay!) - another essay to do (boo!).</p>
<p>My D likes the long October weekend idea - so much so in fact, that when I senet her an email with some college deadlines listed, she came to me and said, "aren't we going to do the weekend?" So I had to explain I was just sending the email for her "records" - of course the October weekend was still "on". I think she thought the page with all those November & December deadlines was meant to put things off.</p>
<p>A word of caution about the weekend blitz. Be sure to give the time and attention to each app that it deserves. Trying to prepare 6 or 8 apps individually tailored to each school, even if using the common app, could be a bit much for a weekend. It is tiring. After awhile they start to run together and proofreading with weary eyes can let little typos slip through. It sounds like great way to get a bulk of it done, but don't push to finish. Stop when you get tired or frustrated (or both LOL) and finish another day. This is your one shot to make an impression on these schools, don't rush through the process.</p>
<p>S didn't do any work on essays and is now gone from home and heading back to boarding school. I nagged all summer, to no avail. He HAS kept up with correspondence from coaches (especially when I nagged). Amazingly, he promised a coach he would apply for this large scholar-athlete merit scholarship (neither S or I think he has a chance) which requires that the entire application be in September 20! It is NOT an ED commitment. I'm wondering if he agreed to this to force himself to get the common app and some extra essays done. He is also planning to do an EA application to a school with a long, non-standard application, 2 rolling state u apps and his ED school (as yet undetermined pending some recruiting visits). I think he should have gotten more of a jump on things this summer- now he will be doing it in the middle of tough senior year courses and an important fall sports season. Oh well- who listens to me?</p>
<p>"Shutdown mode" is an understandable response to the stress but at some point students need to get passed it or pushed passed it. Both trip planning takes time (at least it does with me) and it's better to get as much as possible done before the sports schedule become crazy.</p>
<p>It's a fine line between patience and pushing. Were it me, I'd probably say, "I understand the pressure but you need to get in gear by time X at the latest," thus giving both some control and a framework to the student. I also find dealing in concrete specifics more helpful than in abstracts.</p>
<p>The sports schedule is already crazy and school doesn't start until Wednesday. It's tryout week for soccer&practice will bethroughLabor Day Week-end. (I think they get Sunday off). First non-league game starts 9/10. I guess that is why I pushed the issue a bit and decided to start our weekly meetings now. The sports schedule only gets worse and my kid gets more tired as the season progresses. Our school also likes to process the application. They prepare the packets with teacher recommendation-school reports-GC Rec. etc. That means all applications must be completed and handed over to school by December 1st. So I really am trying to keep her on some schedule as we still need to make one more trip upstate to look at some more SUNY schools and a trip to Conn. to look at Eastern Connec. As she has a few Saturday soccer games in the mix, I have to schedule visits around her sports schedule. Oh joy!</p>
<p>I'm curious - whose children have already lined up teachers for recommendations? Anyone's kid actually given them the forms yet?</p>
<p>No forms have been given out on our end (school hasn't started) but S actually emailed a teacher to ask him if he would do the rec. The other rec comes from the wonderful advisor/mentor who has been formulating it for several months already. S also (without nagging) emailed his college counselor to tell him about the early deadline for the scholarship. I hope S gets into his ED school, because I seriously don't think I can go past December with this process, and S is not even in our household!</p>
<p>D's teacher rec's are lined up and have agreed to do them. Mom has bought the envelopes and the forms have been printed. Just have to hand them to the teachers. Oh yeah, and decide who to send them to.</p>