<p>I'm always thinking about random topics (ie finding a good beautician in college), but I've really been wondering what everyone thinks about dating in college. I'm nervous that I'll end up somewhere where I won't meet anyone (chances seem unlikely, but you never know). Then, there's the whole dating as a freshman is so not good (b/c some upperclassmen can be cruel). It's completely random, I know. But a lot of people just like hook-ups, and I'm more of a get-to-know-you-then-form-a-relationship person, not a let's-pass-around-venereal-diseases-and-maybe-talk-later type of person.</p>
<p>Any comments on anything? What do you expect from college? Any insight from your own experience(s)?</p>
<p>Most of the people I’ve talked to at various schools seem to maintain that the “hook-up” culture is prevalent. However some, like my friend Lana who’s currently attending NYU, have managed to find people to maintain relationships. </p>
<p>I think it just depends on the person and, obviously, the culture of the school you’re attending. Luckily for me a former student of my highschool is attending Columbia (where I’m going in August) and she’s had a boyfriend for a year already. I think that the pool of people at universities is so much bigger than in high-school that you’re bound to find someone who is as committed to a relationship as you are. And besides, even if by some weird trick of fate you don’t find someone who suits you, if you’re in a college town like NYC or Boston, then you still can meet people from other colleges.</p>
<p>All in all I think the dating horizon looks bright :D</p>
<p>Lol it wasn’t creepy. OMG Columbia and Princeton are my 2 fav. schools so I hope I get into one of them. I like UPenn too. Most of my schools are in NYC and just the East Coast area. I just always feared that guys would go for the “easy” girls or the non-black girls (If I vibe with someone and am attracted to them, race shouldn’t matter).</p>
<p>Noooo… there’s nothing to worry about. Of course you’ll find the types for whom race is a dating criteria (albeit a misguided one) but I think for most people it’s just about finding someone you like like and are attracted to. Especially in NYC girl! Seriously, I don’t really care if Columbia guys end up not feeling me… I’m in friggin’ New York! Out of over 8.3 million people there’s gotta be someone I click with!</p>
<p>What a coincidence! I always wonder how I’m gonna get a haircut. lol. But about the dating thing… Idk. I figure theres enough pretty girls to go around. Haha</p>
<p>Well I, for example, CANNOT WAIT until college, ESPECIALLY for the dating. My dating life needs to be revived so I am fairly optimistic about seeing college men :-). Hopefully these type of males will be the assertive type.</p>
<p>Omigosh, I’m so concerned about finding a good stylist in college. Like, will they all be really expensive, will they be far away from campus, will I go to a cheap one who burns my scalp? Ugh.</p>
<p>I haven’t really thought about dating at all. I don’t think I’m for dating. Everything about it always strikes me as so artificial and imitative (I’m with Plato). And most of it strikes me as… unrighteous. Sordid. I’d rather have my too too sullied flesh, melt, thaw, and resolve into a dew than give into the baser aspects of my nature. I mean, to post with such dexterity. To me, He that made us with such large discourse did not give us that capability and reason to rot in us, unused. Why distract ourselves with love, with bestial oblivion? Such thoughts are nothing worth. </p>
<p>@spark432: Interracial dating? At my school? Pshhh! I had a guy told me he wouldn’t date me because I wasn’t Caucasian; can you believe that? Hopefully at college, it would be different.</p>
<p>Millancad, I understand what you are saying. HOWEVER, in “Symposium”, Plato was not saying that love was “artificial” and “imitative”. He divided the art of love in two sub-categories “common” and “heavenly”. Common love exemplifies the vulgar love of the body such as exalting physical pulchritude before inner beauty. It is the love of adolescent people. These sorts of follies will never have longevity. However, heavenly love values goodness–one of many of the discussed virtues. Pausanias discussed “common” and “noble” but overall, these two philosophers realized that being virtuous is higher than “common” love and the combination of physical love and the captivation with a person’s intellect are the two building blocks to a lasting union :-)</p>
<p>@MorganSimone: I know, I know. I should have really made the Plato bit a different sentence as it wasn’t a support for my view of (romantic) love as imitative but rather one of the other things I think about love. But I’ve never read any Pausanias. But it could also just be a coincidence.
However, that entire bit of my post was a bit jocular. I just wanted to write about Hamlet. After all, he is the rose and expectancy of the fair state <3.</p>
<p>@Coolbeans: I guess we’re getting married now?</p>
<p>Lol I thought everyone knew what a beautician was until I told my ex that I had to go on Friday before my photo shoot. He says, “What’s a beautician?” I just thought he was mildly dumb for that comment lol, but never mind. </p>
<p>I don’t know. Most of my friends are guys, but most are like my big brothers (only child). In my experience, some of your “friends” catch feelings, and by that point, I truly see them as just friends which makes the whole “I see you as just a friend” convo so much more awkward. I don’t know how to reject guys without hurting their feelings (I used to do it with such ease but now, I don’t know). I just kind of slyly push them away, and they don’t get it. In other words, if I’m gonna be friends with a guy, he better be like Pooch Hall fine (not that my guy friends aren’t nice-looking, it’s just extremely awkward and come on POOCH HALL fine is like REGGIE BUSH fine…oh and personality too lol)</p>
<p>“Omigosh, I’m so concerned about finding a good stylist in college. Like, will they all be really expensive, will they be far away from campus, will I go to a cheap one who burns my scalp? Ugh.”</p>
<p>I wonder about that too, more than anything else. :D</p>
<p>Lol I started a post about that a while ago. I don’t have a perm, and I really really don’t want one. But I’ve seen how humid it can get on the East Coast esp. when I’ve already lived in the Midwest. So…I don’t know. </p>
<p>Oh, but back to dating. Hmm…has anyone ever experienced the freshman/upperclassment thing where an upperclassmen just plays the freshman? I’ve heard they can be cruel.</p>
<p>My sister was stupid enough to date a graduating senior when she was a freshman, and man did that end up sucking for me (at one point I had to watch out because during a past summer she snuck up to Berkeley with my cousin to try to get him back, while lying to my mom about it). These kinds of matchups are cruel insomuch that the younger classman is not ready for a relationship dynamic that results from dating an upperclassman. An upperclassman will have a vastly different set of priorities for himself compared to someone just starting school, and these can lead to tremendous difficulties in sustaining a meaningful connection. So far I have been with an older woman (one year older, she is a 2009 alum and I am a graduating 2010 senior), and we both have similar priorities within our relationship - she wants to go law school in the Bay Area, I want to work around Berkeley after school etc. So when we approach our relationship, we have some common ground from which to decide our future. This is rarely the case for college dating however.</p>
<p>In college, dating will work only if the individuals who are coupling have first put themselves on a foundation of priorities from which to work the relationship around. Freshman who are just starting their college careers are still adjusting to the chaotic demands that classes and outside activities impose on them, and therefore entering into dating at that time is usually a terrible idea. Too many things in college life are unsettled once you start, and it may take several years before you get an accurate idea as to what your pursuits, interests and overall aim as a college student really are. Upperclassmen usually settle this all out through the college years, and at the point where they feel more in-control of what they desire and want to pursue, they can think more about dating/relationships/fooling around/whatever. Freshman who enter dating will usually do so without knowing what they are entering into. In high school, dating is easy because everyone is doing the same thing - going to classes, sports, then going home to the parents afterwards. College on the other hand is a free-for-all environment, where everyone can decide their own futures and ambitions, and thus finding the right dating/relationship partner can be a grueling, painful and probably impossible task. Some might be very fortune (I have been very happy for the last year and a half), and others might stay the hell away from dating altogether (my sister). </p>
<p>So be careful. Too many things can change during the first couple of years in college for dating to be a large concern. Wean into it if you want, but don’t put too much trust into finding something that works. Way too much stuff happens in college for dating to go swimmingly.</p>