<p>‘And most of those farmers have college degrees.’
…probably from the Ag school at Cornell. ;)</p>
<p>I agree with another poster that thinking about marriage is really jumping the gun. I assumed the OP was just grieving a bit for the loss of a ‘typical’ college experience complete with ‘typical’ college BFs for her daughter. Not that big of a deal</p>
<p>The dating choices of teen / early adulthood are often just as much to thumb a nose at Mom and Dad, as about true romantic interest. And parents voicing their thoughts can keep them together longer than would happen otherwise. (I have a recollection of dating a guy at 17 who was annoying and whose voice just drove my dad nuts. I wasnt really into the guy, just insecure enough at 17 to need a boyfriend in a rebound situation. ) I probably stayed with the guy longer out of a desire to provde dad wrong and exert my independence with dad, as to feed my insecurity monster.</p>
<p>As far as OPs issue: We dont know enough of the particulars of the romantic interest in question to form a reasonably valid hypothesis about their character and fit with the daughter. But the concern is likely premature all things considered. The relationship will likely go by the wayside with time.</p>
<p>Having said that, there does seem to be quite a lot of not so subtle snark against Mom. AND I am seeing enough of a pattern here in some of the responses to form a reasonably valid hypothesis about the character of some of the responders. I dont think highly of people who truly enjoy attacking others on the internet for sport and self enjoyment under the guise of copping a morally superior attitude. </p>
<p>Hypocritical as all get out. Nothing morally superior at all about it.</p>
<p>No offense, but you are all farmers to me.</p>
<p>Again, no offense.</p>
<p>
Milburn, get that disgusting hillbilly off of our daughter.</p>
<p>You crack me up Stats. Those posts are priceless.</p>
<p>Not speaking on behalf of other posters, and by way of clarification, my superiority is unqualified and not limited to moral questions.</p>
<p>Onward.</p>
<p>And, most importantly, we have not heard whether this dishwasher is really a hot hunk or not. Biceps anyone?</p>
<p>Every girl needs to date one of those before settling down with an aesthete philosophy major migraneur with a degree from a Little Ivy.</p>
<p>Absolutely true, ihs76. We need a picture before we can judge. Maybe he looks like Taylor Lautner.
The first guy my D dated in college turned out to be a water-skiing frat boy with intimacy issues. Every girl needs to kiss a few frogs before she finds a prince. Boyfriends are like pancakes- you throw out the first one.</p>
<p>I was a dishwasher in college. Come to think of it, I’m still a dishwasher. Except now I don’t get paid for it.</p>
<p>How many threads have I read in which parents lament that their kids are clueless about practicalities, both during and after college? Assuming this kid is independent and supporting himself, I call him a role model.</p>
<p>exactly, HE IS A GUY WITH A JOB.</p>
<p>I promise I will read the whole thread, but the beginning starts so humorously and I want to add this, before going off to clean, for the kids coming home on break, and spinning my head about things like the calorie count in my planned T-dinner: </p>
<p>I married the dishwasher. Yup. The dishwasher in the grad dorm.
After washing dishes, he went through a truck-driver phase.
And yes, he was hot. </p>
<p>Full disclosure: I am not going to go clean, when I log off CC. He got up early to do it.</p>
<p>He’s now a PhD professor. Those were his jobs during grad school and the break he needed to make some grad school money. </p>
<p>Would I worry if this were a different scenario? College kid and romantic interest with no challenging goals? Yes. I’ve got one doing that right now, with a cc-dropout. I’m holding my breath. Invited this interest to T-dinner and planned to put on the dog, so to speak. But, really, we always get fancy at holidays, I wasn’t going to be mean. Unfortunately, this interest’s part-time job schedule got in the way.</p>
<p>Life with our kids is never a breeze. I try to remind myself that.</p>
<p>LOL @ IHS…</p>
<p>I dont think that need is limited to during college. During my single early 40 years, I had one that was drop dead, movie star gorgeous…and a nice guy too. But about as deep as a puddle. It was fun for a while – and yes to flaunt around the girlfriends – but the lack of conversation of substance led to me kicking him to the curb. (And no doubt my mom WOULD have approved of him … she had great eyesight)</p>
<p>But i still occasionally think about how darn beautiful he was…swooon. ;-)</p>
<p>The OP needs to invite the dishwasher for Thanksgiving dinner. That way she can sit on the couch in a turkey induced coma while he cleans up. Duh.</p>
<p>Maybe the dishwasher’s posterior is superior, putting all other considerations in the rear.</p>
<p>^^only if it’s in Levi’s :D</p>
<p>Bogney, I think that is one liner worthy.</p>
<p>Perhaps we are missing the point of the OP? Perhaps what she hasnt verbalized in her post is her frustration that part of college IS making friends that possibly will be lifelong, enjoying many social opportunities (as well as academic ones, as one does tend to hang out with ppl from same study groups), and by dating a non-college-attending dishwasher, the daughter is missing out on that huge aspect of college life. Especially since most friendships do form in the freshman year.</p>
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<p>That may be common among those in your social circle and geographic area(Am I correct in assuming NE US?). However, according to nationwide stats and my own encounters with many adults and even seniors who never had passports despite having the means to travel/take vacations…it seems the norm nationwide is to only travel within the Continental US and until recently…nations to the immediate north and south. </p>
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<p>I may be dating myself…but it wasn’t long ago in my long-term memory that one could travel to Mexico without having to have a passport. </p>
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<p>Maybe I’ve been very lucky. Closest I’ve gotten to that is one friend who tried strongly to bow out because he had no money and felt bad about allowing others to treat him. Fortunately, I’ve been able to dissuade him from bowing out by mentioning how his company is crucial to an enjoyable dinner out among friends and mentioning past times he’s treated or helped me and others out of a jam in college.</p>
<p>Thank you ihs76, I was inspired by your 106. However, I tried not to go overboard, having punned many a thread to death.</p>
<p>The only dishwasher I ever met was my D’s hs boyfriend. I didn’t find out he was from a family of philanthropists until several years later. Funny, but we always like the kid even before we knew he had millions. Looked like a skateboarder, behaved like a gentleman. He was always first in line to do dirty work or help out someone in need. Go figure.</p>
<p>Most of the elitist posters on here would have given their right arm to have their kid marry into this family.</p>
<p>Bogney…keep up the good work!</p>
<p>D, boarding school kid, top U, athlete. Sick of entitled, elitist kids she knows, starts dating a geographically, misplaced redneck. Why? He has a job (contractor), pays his own bills, is not impressed by “stuff”, treats her like a queen (he was there for her when she got sick, and I was EXTREMELY relieved. He made HUGE points). I must add that D can be a huge pain in the butt and this guy knows how to handle her.</p>
<p>Kinda proud that D went for a grounded, nice guy as opposed to some of the elitist crap she has been with for years, one of whom is sitting in jail for vehicular manslaughter, three are/were pregnant, six in/out of rehab…</p>
<p>The prettiest girl in my college worked in the dining hall both serving food and cleaning it up. All the guys had crushes on her back in the day. She was attending the college.</p>
<p>It would have been an interesting experiment to gauge reactions to her had she not been attending the college. Would she still have been considered so attractive? I tend to think so. “What’s in a name . . . ?”</p>