<p>I am sorry this is happening to your D. I think you have received excellent advice: doctor–asap, make a scene, go to HR. I think she should go to HR even if the event happened outside the workplace. You might call a Women’s Crisis center for additional information, and for self defense classes. Many classes cover more than just defense moves–they talk about posture, making a scene, etc. And more importantly, they practice those things in class.</p>
<p>Document, document, document! If the harassment happened with a third-party (vendor, client) then the other people at the scene will most likely be interviewed. It is a good exercise to write it all down so that she will be able to discuss it with HR confidently. </p>
<p>It is a shame that this happened. Even if she chooses not to talk to the police about the sexual misconduct, she should talk to a professional.</p>
<p>Too much irrelevant stuff is put together confusing the issue that actually matters.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Flashers - happens. I live in a residential neighborhood and last summer we had warnings out saying someone is flashing kids playing outside. There were several incidents like that.</p></li>
<li><p>A stranger grabbing and kissing in a public place. She should have screamed bloodymurder and gotten him beaten up.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Now what really matters is the question about assault while inebriated. This is a major problem. One could be drinking punch that can be drugged and for all we know if the intent is there, she could have been drugged even if she had only one drink. These are the risks one has to worry about as a parent but have no control. If it is not internship it can happen in college, workplace in a couple of years and so on.</p>
<p>I agree completely that if something like this happens, someone needs to try to attract as much attention as possible. It’s horrible that women have a filter to stay quiet even when they’re bloody being assaulted because society might see them as a b-word</p>
<p>The problem here is that if she was drunk and doesn’t remember what happened…how would she know whether or not she gave consent to have sex? Sexual partners do not have to give a sobriety test to their partners to determine if they are making a sound decision.</p>
<p>The biggest problem is that she drank to the extent that she has no memory of what happened. </p>
<p>Unless she was drugged or shows abrasions or injuries that indicate that force was used against her, I do blame her for putting herself in that situation.</p>
<p>Many women have had a flasher and/or a groping incident in their lifetime. If this young woman has not been previously on her own in an urban environment she may have been fortunate not to have encountered these behaviors before. She can learn how to respond to them more forcefully in the future. I remember being flashed as a teenager and being so taken aback that I just walked by and didn’t say or do anything or tell anyone. With a good class she can learn how to respond more powerfully and possible project more confidence on the street to discourage incidences. </p>
<p>As texaspg noted - the incident that is workplace related it a different and more serious issue.</p>
<p>Usk- that’s really not true. Intoxication takes away consent in many places. Unfortunately, this has hurt many men when their sexual partner has regrets the next day. It’s why men AND women need to be extremely careful when alcohol is involved.</p>
<p>
Every time someone posts an apocryphal story and people question it someone posts a comment like this. Let’s assume this story is completely true. But suppose someone were to post on here something like, God forbid, their child was kidnapped, or something else horrible happened to their child. Would it not matter whether this was true or just the fantasy of some middle-schooler?</p>
<p>To the extent this site is merely a repository of advice, it doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>To the extent this is a social networking site, where people interact with each other and in some instances demonstrate sympathy and empathy for one another, it does matter.</p>
<p>Yes, but in most situations it is very hard to prove intoxication/ non-consent unless there are other reasons (injury/ evidence of a crime) that goes along with the sexual act. </p>
<p>As the mother of 2 daughters I want them to take responsibility for their actions so that they do not put themselves in vulnerable situations.</p>
<p>Not to say that there are not sexual crimes against woman in which case they are totally the victim. But when alcohol is involved, woman need to be in control as much as possible and should feel responsible for what they do that can make them either vulnerable to others wishes orcapable of making bad out-of character decisions.</p>
<p>It’s often less difficult than you’d think. </p>
<p>I’m not saying women should get drunk with strangers. I think it’s about the dumbest thing you can do as a young woman. I’m just saying that men and women both need to protect themselves.</p>
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<p>I can’t imagine a company that offers intership to young students would have a work environment like this nowadays. Something is terribly wrong.</p>
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<p>What kind of friend is this?</p>
<p>If she is being harassed by someone she works with she should talk to HR. As far as the drinking etc. she needs to not “get drunk.” If it was the first time, it should be the last time. If she’s not on birth control, she needs to be and while she’s at the physician she should get checked out for STDs. As the parent you weren’t there so you don’t know, if it were my daughter I would not give her the benefit of the doubt and I would also be having a lengthy conversation as insurance about what image she is projecting. She could be totally innocent but you aren’t with her in her workplace, etc.</p>
<p>I think if the alcohol related incident and man’s house happened with someone related to work, she needs to do a little more research (after going to a doctor for possible tests and treatment). If she thinks she might have been drugged, then she needs to ask some questions of other people that were there that night, and possibly talk to people who know the possible perpetrators a bit more. If she thinks she just drank too much, then I think she should talk to the possible perpetrator to find out what the story was. In any case, talking to a rape trained counselor would probably be helpful to help her sort it out. Absolutely NO more drinking with these people or with anyone - she is UNDER AGE. Drinking is absolutely not ok.</p>
<p>The public incidences don’t seem related to me and should just be handled as people have already discussed - making noise - saying NO - etc.</p>
<p>I think this is a ■■■■■ posting however I will offer up a response:</p>
<p>From the way I read it, the harrasment seems separate from the internship? Are these instatces with coworkers or other interns or just “things that happen in a urban setting while away from home”?</p>
<p>I will assume these sitautions were not related to the internship:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Public groping etc…some assertiveness needed here. Make a stink in a public setting and either the guy slinks away or many others will come to your assistance. Learn to be aware of your surroundings and avoid situations. Learn how to set boundaries with body language and assertiveness.</p></li>
<li><p>Too drunk to know…how much did she drink? If only a drink or 2 was she dosed with a date rape drug (this demands further investigation)? If just too much booze then maybe live and learn. Men and women…don’t lose control, nothing good comes out of it.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>If the young woman does not have a history of drinking it wouldn’t be hard to have the alcohol get ahead of you - especially is she is of smaller stature. A little vodka and cranberry juice goes a long way (and goes down easy). It happens all the time and is not in the least bit implausible IMO.</p>
<p>Teens are not supposed to drink,and it’s very unwise for teenage girls to experiment with drinking around people they don’t know well. I hope it’s a lesson learned. Potentially - depending on the men’s ages - could also be statutory rape - if late teens means under 18. This doesn’t mean it’s her fault - I just mean that we shouldn’t act like oh yes - kids will drink etc… no biggie. Maybe with college age that’s true - but HS aged - no.</p>
<p>^ “Supposed” to depends on your state laws and moral beliefs. I agree that it’s unwise for anyone to drink for the first time around people they don’t know well. Or really, even in general to drink around strangers or near-strangers.</p>
<p>If this is a high school D, then this story makes even less sense. I know very few parents who would not be freaking out that their high school aged daughter may have had “non-consensual” sex. Even my parents which are about as handsoff as they come. If this is a HIGH SCHOOL internship, get her out of the situation ASAP. No high school internship is worth this kind of discomfort.</p>
<p>odd thread title if a D was possibly raped…</p>
<p>Assuming the OP is not a ■■■■■, my best advice to “pass on” to the daughter is: get the heck out of Dodge, see a GYN immediately, watch the drinking and bring a friend to the next party. Document and report the harassment incidents at work.</p>
<p>Assuming the OP is in fact a ■■■■■, please find another hobby.</p>
<p>This kid was raped by an older man from work. She is not even 20, so maybe a freshman in college. Most company HR would be very careful about inviting underaged interns to any company event where there is alcohol. It certainly wouldn’t be acceptable for anyone to have sex with an intern, with or without consent. </p>
<p>I would be with my daughter, tell her to report it to HR, and get her checked by a doctor.</p>