Daughter Hates Her Matches And Safeties

<p>Post #160: Lehigh needs female students and Dickinson is big on demonstrated interest.</p>

<p>soozievt: I agree that the OP's daughter's list doesn't follow any principle other than "I know cool people who go there," but when she intellectualized about what she wanted it seemed to be:</p>

<ul>
<li>urban-but-not-too-urban, go-out-to-dinner factor</li>
<li>not too small and not too large (approx. 5,000 students)</li>
<li>driving distance from suburban Maryland (but maybe not right there)</li>
<li>values diversity in the student body</li>
<li>campus spirit, sports popularity a plus (possible tradeoff for academic prestige)</li>
<li>not too much snow</li>
<li>[not said explicitly, but doesn't seem to want a tech school]</li>
</ul>

<p>To some extent, I read that as "I wish I could go to Princeton or Duke, so I'll describe them." In any event, I think one can make an argument for Richmond on all of those criteria, plus it's at least a match for her. It's a little on the small side, but bigger than most LACs, and the presence of some graduate programs probably makes it feel a bit bigger socially. It's pretty, suburban, but there's some vibrancy in the area -- certainly not isolated. Far enough from home so that Mom and Dad won't just drop in unannounced, but close enough to feel safe and connected, and in the no-snow direction. It has good sports teams and lots of tradition. I don't know exactly how diverse it is, but non-white classmates of my kids have gone there (and arty ones, at that). And it's a pretty good school, one that would be easy to feel proud of.</p>

<p>You are right, Coldwind. My friend, whose D is at Dickinson made it clear that it was her first choice school. She had applied ED and was waitlisted at F&M (another possibility), then let Dickinson know that she was done if they took her EA, I believe. Her test scores made her borderline at either of those schools. </p>

<p>She is doing very well at Dickinson, loves it.</p>

<p>Besides your D needing another safety....I see the issue that she doesn't have enough in the way of matches. If you say she won't be too keen in having to go to her safeties, it seems very wise to me to have matches because the reaches are just very chancy. That way, she may land at a school in the "middle" of her deck and not "settle." </p>

<p>Again, it would really help to have some clue as to your D's profile....top 10%, top 20%? Rigor of curriculum (most demanding, very demanding, demanding, average)? GPA? Level of her EC achievements? But lots of schools that MIGHT be in her range realistically (matches) are not exactly small potatoes and are selective and excellent students are attending......did she ever explore Skidmore? Sarah Lawrence? Brandeis? BU? Rollins? Muhlenberg? I know excellent students who have chosen these schools. These are all selective. They simply aren't the most selective schools in the land.</p>

<p>Having looked at a few acceptance %s from last year, I am surprised at how much more selective many schools have become. I understand that this year has that population blip as well. </p>

<p>Matches are becoming difficult to find. It seems to me that a lot of schools are reaches or schools likely to accept the student, rather than a true safety. I am at a point where I consider a safety a school that is a guaranteed accept and unless it is a local school or one that admits strictly on stats, nothing is a certainty these days. It used to be that certain kids with legacy or other connections to schools like Fordham were sure admits. No more. We used EA as our safety net/litmus test. For the first one it gave us his safeties and a good idea where he stood in admissions. For the second one, a wake up call. This third time, it pretty much ended the process as he got into the school he wanted.</p>

<p>Twomules,</p>

<p>I think playing geographic diversity would be a smart strategy, hence my unsuccessful suggestion to consider USF. </p>

<p>Plus, I think it is really good for DC kids to get a push out of the nest so they can see that the world doesn't end at Dulles Airport.</p>

<p>Say we try to go that route and do some geographic diversity. What would be the "coolest" schools to consider? I think Texas, the southwest, the south and "whatever you call places like Oklahoma, Nebraska and Montana" would be too much of a shock to her system to consider.</p>

<p>Is there anything at all worth considering on the West Coast other than USF (as a match/safety) that is surrounded by a sweet college town? No big state schools, though.</p>

<p>BTW, let me say thank you to all of you for your input. Honestly, we have made progress and I plan on having another discussion with her about this tonight.</p>

<p>Oh, two more criteria that would be a nice hook to get D excited about a match/safety school.</p>

<p>Demonstrated interest in psychology. Is an editor of the school's Psychology Journal and just wrote a paper for publication. </p>

<p>Wants to do a semester abroad. Has taken Spanish for five years but isn't fluent. Wants to pick up the language again, then go abroad. Keeps raising this as a goal.</p>

<p>Haven't finished reading today's posts...what about Furman?</p>

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<p>How about Willamette University? It has a pretty campus right in downtown Salem, OR - mid-sized town that is also the state capital. Good academics.</p>

<p>Willamette</a> University - Salem, Oregon</p>

<p>West Coast:</p>

<p>Lots of people on CC like Santa Clara, with good reason. It's a Catholic school (that was another supposed criterion -- not Catholic), but wears it pretty lightly. It's smack in the middle of Silicon Valley, which means endless suburb, but endless suburb with lots of cool things going on and better weather than SF. As for distance, once you have to go to the airport, an extra hour or two of flying time doesn't really make that much difference, and well-travelled routes are often cheaper than shorter, less popular routes.</p>

<p>One of my neighbors' kids went to University of Puget Sound in Tacoma WA and seemed to like it and do well.</p>

<p>I was thinking about DePaul, too, but didn't mention it because of D's apparent dislike for Catholic schools (which may not be as much of a factor).</p>

<p>DePaul, to me, is similar to Cof C, but it has Chicago. I like both schools but they are quite different from UMD. Villanova is the Catholic school that fits her D's description the most. What about American? I have heard many good things about that school.</p>

<p>Just wanted to throw in Providence as a safety? In same city as Brown and could venture over there to hang out with "cool" students and good access to activities/restaurants in the city. Offers an honors program and generous merit $$ for those accepted into the program. Great school spirit during basketball season, but if she won't consider Catholic schools, it won't work for her. (Wasn't there a thread in the spring about someone who thought they would get into UMCP and were rejected and parent was worried that school mailed the wrong documents as they assumed daughter would have no issues getting accepted there? Or was that another school?)</p>

<p>I also think American would be a good option for Cindy's D. I have a former student now attending. Real good student. I have had and currently have excellent students with excellent stats applying to American as their safety school. A top student from our HS also landed at American.</p>

<p>MiniVan...yes, the vignette you brought up was indeed about UMCP.</p>

<p>Yay!! In post 167 you reiterate what will get her EXCITED about a school. Have her check Gorman's guide or others that list schools with excellent psychology programs. Lots of schools have excellent study abroad programs as well. Given these 2 criteria, put Vassar on her list. Yeah Poughkeepsie is a pit, but its easy to hop the train to NYC or Boston and their psych and study abroad programs are great.</p>

<p>Sorry to keep coming back to this issue, but I'd encourage you to use only positive words - model the positive attitude for your daughter. Statements like "I think she would be willing to tolerate the South" are way too negative. Oh, and as for your statement " If your kid were admitted to their reaches (whatever those were for your kid) and their matches and their safeties, who among us would push the safeties?" My son chose his safety over his other, (IMO "better") schools. His safety is a good school, and offered him a great scholarship. We didnt push the safety-- he did. Decided to save the college $$$ for med school.</p>

<p>*** you might want to read about curmudgeon's dau who chose Rhodes over Yale. and ... ooh I forget his name.. evilrobot I think, who chose Vandy over Yale. Both have had very positive experiences and there are LOTs of these kinds of stories.</p>

<p>Providence was too Catholic for my son who liked most of the Catholic schools on his list. They have priests living in the dorm areas and strict laws for the dorms. Villanova, to him was not a Catholic school at all in atmosphere.</p>

<p>Vassar is no safety. Highly, highly selective for females and from the midAtlantic area.</p>

<p>Has she considered Towson, St Mary's College, McDaniel or Hood? All Maryland schools, smaller than College Park.</p>

<p>I frankly think Goucher would be a greats safety school for Cindy's D and has a city too.</p>

<p>Loyola is also nice, as is Catholic.</p>