OP, that’s great that your daughter is excited about her new school! I agree that you shouldn’t feel like you’re coddling her by fronting her the cash for books etc. until her loan check comes in. This is a tough transition time and until she’s found her feet, she’s going to need a little unobtrusive help from you. Don’t be surprised if there are some massive mood swings – she may come home tomorrow saying that this boy Matt is a giant a**hole and all the other students are stuck-up jerks, or something. And then in another week they’ll be her friends again. Just roll with it.
Right now college is all theoretical. Hopefully when it becomes real she will respond.
When you are commuting to your local school, there’s a lot less to be exited about. I’m sure, in her mind, it is high school 2.0.
New Student Orientation day is a great opportunity. Go to the campus with her and find her classes, try to get her psyched about an upcoming event (there are posters for local concerts, etc on every campus)
Encourage her to engage in the campus, join stuff, hang out on campus, go to plays, sporting events, parties, etc. Maybe even a part time job. This stuff all just happens when you dorm - she’ll have to work for it a bit.
The boyfriend is an unfortunate distraction - you shouldn’t do much to facilitate their relationship but, anything you do to actively undermine it will only strengthen their bond.
Good luck
@SoftballmomPSU Update? How is she doing?
Please let us know how she’s doing…transition for everyone is difficult