Evaluating fit would be hard under those circumstances but I guess she was able to.
Don’t worry about GPA. A year of successful work and/or courses and an explanation that COVID isolation at a new school will make her a good candidate at the schools she wants to apply to.
Ultimately she can look back on this and realize it is an opportunity to correct her path after getting the help she needs. These situations, corny as it sounds, build resilience and flexibility.
ps if she has a documented diagnosis, also get a tuition refund policy that covers mental health and make sure she registers with the Office of Disabilities. When kids register and run into problems, there are usually accommodations and resources that can help avoid disaster.
editing to add after I saw post above: doesn’t ASU have online classes? If she is interested in ASU she could start off with those, just one or two.
Thank you for these good suggestions. We will see where she is at with her anxiety therapy in the next few weeks and go from there. Since she is on Academic Probation from the LAC, I think most of you are correct that she doesn’t have much hope of a transfer elsewhere. Since she is not in “good academic standing”.
As far as the name of her Current (soon to be Former) LAC, I would rather not say here for everyone to read. I don’t know who lurks on these forums and I may have said too much already.
If the LAC is the school that I think it is, I want to offer a different perspective.
This was just a bad match of student & school.
If I am correct, I think that many schools will accept & will welcome your daughter.
The University of Arizona, Arizona State University, the University of Kansas, the University of Iowa, College of Charleston, University of Vermont, and other schools which accept about 80% or more of all applicants.
Regarding the “no-retroactive withdrawal” policy, it might be worthwhile to follow that up with more senior administration at the college, if that answer had not come “from the top” originally. I can imagine a mid-level administrator giving the “usual” answer to that question but – given these extraordinary times with extraordinary pressure on students – asking to discuss the options with a more senior administrator, starting with the Dean of Students or VP of Student Affairs, might be worthwhile. A strong case might be made that the usual policies don’t apply to a student who was not able to get the support requested from the school, living on the opposite coast from family during a pandemic. A well-crafted letter to a more senior administrator asking for assistance might get some movement on this.
I realize this is not the priority at this point, but it might be worth exploring at the same time as other options going forward.
I can imagine it might look something like this – (a draft, to be adjusted and expanded on )
Dear Dean X:
We are writing to follow up regarding our daughter’s recent withdrawal for medical reasons for the Spring 2021 semester. We are grateful that we have been able to bring our daughter home to us in California and we are working with her doctors so that she regains her health and well-being.
When we were working with name of your college administrator to arrange for the withdrawal in March, our priority was to get her home and safe, as the year had taken a severe toll on her health and safety. At that time, we asked name of administrator about the possibility of a retroactive withdrawal for the fall semester as these symptoms and difficulties developed over the course of the year and not just this semester. We were advised at that time by name of administrator that a retroactive withdrawal would not be permitted under current college policies.
We are writing to ask for reconsideration of that policy as applied to our daughter during this extraordinary year. Now, describe the efforts to get help, the downward spiral without support over fall semester, identify some detail about college’s inability to provide requested support.
While we recognize this year has been demanding on everyone, we would ask that you consider retroactive withdrawal for medical reasons for the Fall 2020 semester for our daughter. A retroactive withdrawal would create the opportunity for her to start anew at another school when she is healthy and ready. These are exceptional times and we hope that you could consider these exceptional circumstances.
We are happy to meet with you virtually and to provide you with additional documentation.
I’m so sorry that this happened to your daughter. What a nightmare. So many people have suffered so much with the pandemic, but still, this was pretty horrible for her.
I think she needs to go to college while living at home, and seeing her own therapist at home. I know that you want her to be able to “go away” to college, but the solution is not to send her to a better fit school next year. It’s to have her learn to manage her anxiety so that she can participate in classes, while she has the security of living at home and seeing her own therapist. So look into her transferring to a 4 yr college near you, within commuting distance. After she manages this well next year, then possibly live on campus or in a shared house with others.
@Midwestmomofboys love this. And you are so much nicer than I would be. I would be threatening a lawsuit. But maybe that’s the next letter
To the OP you might also consider adding something to the effect that you are not asking for your money back for first semester, you simply want the grades switched to W’s and the academic probation lifted with the understanding that she will not attempt to come back to that school. The not allowing retroactive withdrawal might be a money thing.
I don’t have any suggestions to make that are any different from all the pps. But I did want to say how sorry I am that your daughter is having such a rough time, and how hard this must be on you as well. I’m wishing your family all the best as you navigate your d’s next steps.
True, if it were my kid, it would be hard to rein it in! I try to start from the position that “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar” so being respectful and gracious initially can help diffuse a tense situation or soften a defensive administrator.
Good points on the money and the lifting of probation/agreement not to petition reinstatement.
I have suggested retroactive medical withdrawal in the past (and with no W’s either), but only for the semester immediately preceding.
In this case the family and daughter made the decision to continue for another semester. Medical withdrawal with the slate wiped clean is appropriate for this semester but I am not so sure an argument can be made for the fall.
Failure to complete a certain percentage of classes may result in loss of any federal financial aid (until she completes that percentage) and this follows to other schools. Not sure if that is a factor.
I agree that living at home, doing therapy is a good path. But I don’t see the rush to return to college in a full-time capacity. She can take classes in person or online as a non-matriculated student. And if work helps, or volunteering, slowly add that in.
Federal financial aid is not an issue or deciding factor in any of this. She doesn’t have financial aid and it isn’t needed. And yes. She should never have gone back for Spring semester. There is a lot we would do differently.
She will probably go to community college.
I just wanted to hear opinions and feedback from others. Thank you to all. We are doing the best we can. We have a smart yet troubled young lady. We thought that despite COVID and anxiety issues she would persevere. We were wrong.
Many of us have been where you are and things have worked out really well over time.
You didn’t make a mistake sending her back (I was just writing that technically the school will view the request for medical withdrawal in that way), It is natural to hope for perseverance.
You are doing a great job. We found community college to be a great transitional step and for some it is rewarding, with lots of support.
It really seems that COVID played a big role here. Good luck!
Strongly disagree with Puget Sound. Initially, UPS seemed a good fit. The first few weeks we had a lot of support and the welcoming team was great. Unfortunately, during my first Seattle winter, I went into a deep depression and stopped working as usual and gradually going to a lot of classes. No one really reached out or noticed. I am much more mature now, but didn’t recognize at the time I was suffering from depression and wish I had had more support. My parents were not contacted about an ER visit for some passive suicidal thinking. The worst thing about this school - a medical leave for late withdrawal to help my GPA was not granted after 2 years of requests. I transferred schools after 2 years and am much happier. Although a while ago, I feel I should share this with people deciding on schools. Good luck to everyone!
