<p><em>Sigh</em> I don't know about being jealous of other people's money. What I'm jealous about is that the parents got their kids to apply where the parents suggested they apply!! As for actually getting their kids to attend a school based on the parent's recommendations, that's just so far beyond the abilities of H and me, that I can't even imagine it enough to be jealous. . . . . . .</p>
<p>Let me clarify my first response--I"m not saying schools shouldn't do this. It's their school, and if they want the money, fine. i'm saying that I wouldn't pay for my own kid to get in who wasn't (according to the OP's description) up to the level that would get them in on their own. Not 10,000,000 and not 20 bucks. Because I wouldn't teach that lesson to my kid.</p>
<p>What others want to do is their business, that's just how i feel.</p>
<p>I wouldn't pay it either, garland. Not with all the great schools out there that meet her needs. But that's not a choice I have to make. ;) Had there been limited opps for what she wanted to do and I had the $ ? I don't know, but it does get closer.;)</p>
<p>I agree, Hayden - I'm impressed that these kids take direction so well! Maybe the parents bribed them, as well?</p>
<p>Given all the controversy about URM and affirmative action, or even whether less-qualified women were admitted to MIT, I'm a bit surprised that there is not more upset about this practice.</p>
<p>In my view, it is fundamentally different to pay for sports fees or music lessons than to donate a large sum to gain admission. Money cannot buy athleticism, nor musical ability and facility. These can only be developed with the hard work and effort of the musician or athlete. What student effort was involved when the student gets into a highly ranked school after the parents donated?</p>
<p>By bragging, the parents are implicitly acknowledging that their child is inadequate. This the parents' way of demonstrating their power; it is not supportive of the student and will not enhance the student's abilities and certainly not the student's character.</p>
<p>How do we know whose choice it was? Maybe the kids blackmailed the parents! And are most parents aware of their offpring's true potential? It's soooo much easier to believe they are underachievers because of an unsuitable environment than limited. As a teacher, I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard the following equation: Einstein had bad grades (wrong), my kid has bad grades, ergo my kid is a misunderstood genius!</p>
<p>
[quote]
This the parents' way of demonstrating their power
[/quote]
</p>
<p>That is exactly how I see it, momfromme!</p>
<p>These parents were not able to brag about their brilliant or amazingly talented kid, so they demonstrated their own "clout" with admissions to raise themselves up.</p>
<p>I agree, momfromme. I consider making lessons and activities available normal parenting . Even if the lessons/activities end up augmenting the college application, I see it as a byproduct. Buying a kid's way into a school is in another category altogether. Besides being unfair to the other applicants, I see this kind of thing as disabling to the "beneficiary."</p>
<p>I kind of wish our private high school would do some of the strategic admissions mentioned in this thread. </p>
<p>We could use some big doners- some new stadium lights would be good right about now, as would upgrades to the auditorium (I'm thinking hydraulic orchestra pit) and swimming pool. Oh, and I REALLY wish admissions would do a better job filling out the fine arts department- we're about to go down the tube if we don't get in some talent, like yesterday! As far as sports is concerned, I'll leave that to another debate thread, but it sure would be nice to be able to compete with some of the boarding schools in our bracket who import talent from all over the globe. </p>
<p>As far as diversity, yeah, I think it would be kind of nice to NOT be 100% white, upper/middle class professional, christian school. So yeah, I support a little nod here and there to certain admissions that are in the range, but not as high up there as others you could say. It takes all kinds to make the school run.</p>
<p>I was at a college night last year at my s's school. A rep form one of the big 3 was there. A dad raised his hand and asked with a straight face, "what would you do if I gave $10 million?" (Believe me, he could do it.) The rep turned without skipping a beat, "Sir, we would do whatever was in the best interest of the school." No elaboration.</p>
<p>I have known families who have donated huge amounts to colleges and had their kids turned down even though the kids were well in the mid 50% of those in that school. So a large donation is not going to necessarily get your kid into a school. In fact if you are too crass about it, and as right out as Woody's peer dad did, you might compromise your child's admissions. </p>
<p>However, it is no secret that cultivating a relationship with a school that includes big dollars can help your kid tremendously in admissions. Any time your student can bring something to a college that it really wants, it increases his chances of admissions. No school, not even HPY is going deny that it has "development admissions". </p>
<p>Those who have the funds do have opportunities to try to buy and attain more than those of us who do not. This is the situation in nearly anything from health care, comfort, convenience, education, luxery, etc. Nothing new.</p>
<p>I have a close friend whose children are URM. Their son who is my son's age is looking at colleges that are not even considerations for us. Not only can they afford them, and we should not; their son with similiar academic qualifications as mine has a shot at admissions, whereas my son would not. And the subject of college search comes up frequently lately as both boys are finishing their junior years in highschool. Yes, sometimes I wish we had their choices and percentages, but it is not a sore point because I know the situation just happens to be that way. I also envy her luxery vacations, and beautiful furniture, but do not do a strong burn or covet these things so that I cannot enjoy her company. I like her enough, and am not jealous enough that it affects her friendship. There are times good things happen to me that she envies too.</p>
<p>I can't believe everyone is justifying this practice because the seven-figure gift will support scholarships for needy students, and that makes it okay. I don't buy that for one minute. The kid should have gotten in on his own merits, and THEN his parents could have become grateful and generous donors. This practice is reality, and we all know that. But it's very offensive (as is the donor's bragging). Those aren't the values in our family, and I think that's the approach the OP should take, too (and then he/she should change the subject and find a new circle of friends).</p>
<p>But let me come clean: Forty years ago my first husband got into a top-tier liberal arts college because his father was a trustee. He worked reasonably hard and did okay (for a student in the turbulent 1960s), but he took a lot of grief from his classmates who knew about it. It got to be kind of embarrassing for him. Unfortunately, I don't think "development cases" now have one shred of embarrassment, or even gratitude--only entitlement.</p>
<p>There are develpment cases that are embarrassed, grateful, ambivalent as well as feeling entitled and boa****l. There are athletes, URMs, hardship, alum and other sorts with those feelings as well. </p>
<p>I have friends who don't share all of my values. All of us have lines we don't want crossed in relationships and if the discussion of college admissions is a sensitive one for you, and your friends cannot respect that, you may want to rethink the friendship. On the other hand, you might decide that you like these friends enough that despite this sore, you want to keep the relationship. Depends on the person.</p>
<p>I have many close friends whom I have differences with; some minor superficial ones, others deeper and involving more serious issues, but I enjoy them as people well enough that I can ignore those differences.</p>
<p>Now, if I felt that any of my friends was actually insulting me, putting me down, or trying to make me feel bad, I would drop them.</p>
<p>I do have 1 friend, who constantly complains of not having money, even though she does, and also receives large gifts of vacations and tuition from her brother, and I mean thousands of $$$ worth every year. But we all just make fun of her. Her family of 5 gets taken with his family of 4 on annual international trips. This brother also paid $1m to an Ivy League school to admit his own bright daughter, and the school accepted the money and the child.</p>
<p>Anyhow, private colleges can accept who they want, especially if the kid's parents want to donate a couple of million. Whatever. It is too rare of an event to affect anything. Too bad that theyre rich enough to have that kind of spare change, but stupid enough to talk about how they spend it.</p>
<p>I doubt there is a single person on this list with enough money for this to even have been an option. For years (and for some, almost a century) schools have relied on large donors to pay the bills, build the buildings, endow faculty chairs. Entire families have attended the same schools year after year after year, developing greater and greater loyalty as time goes on. Every college knows that no matter how good the student body, 50% of the student body - no more and no less - is going to finish in the bottom half of the class. So why shouldn't it include students who can do the work -- good enough to finish in the bottom half -- whose families have given so generously to the school, and can be expected to in the next generation? I see absolutely no shame in that, and there is no evidence that those who finished in the top half will have contributed back to society anymore than those in the bottom half have...or will. </p>
<p>I don't think it needs to be justified.</p>
<p>I don't think it needs to be justified, either -- anyone who isn't aware that this goes on is simply naive.</p>
<p>But to boast about it? That's just boorish.</p>
<p>76 posts and CalMom nails it succinctly.</p>
<p>I agree that it is boorish. </p>
<p>But I just don't have the blase attitude that it doesn't have to be justified. We are talking about a student who had all the advantages money could buy who turned out to be so-so academically yet got a slot that could have gone to a hard-working student whose parents did not have $. Just because it happens all the time doesn't make it right or just. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I would hope that it wouldn't hurt a real friendship that I had with parents like that.</p>
<p>
[quote]
a student who had all the advantages money could buy
[/quote]
And this admission via donation is just another one of these advantages.</p>
<p>I don't think I could have a "real" friendship with people like that</p>
<p>I have many friends with some real $$$, who make some major donations, but they don't brag about it, don't talk about buying their way in, and in fact are very modest about their fortunes</p>
<p>I don't know, some friends, eh, values are what I look for in my friends</p>
<p>Sometimes its okay to back off on a friendship with people that are like that....</p>