<p>Maybe what sounds like bragging is actually sheer wonder that the ploy worked. </p>
<p>I would never, ever, let my kid know if I'd done something like that. <em>Fortunately</em> we're not in a position to make seven figure donations (limited to four figures, if you count the ones that come after the decimal point). I don't think any young person could put it into any kind of perspective but would have to believe they didn't belong at the college and weren't as good as other students.</p>
<p>On the anecdotal side, I do know of a student who was admitted to a competitive school under the same circumstances. He did flunk out after a couple years. I've often wondered if he didn't do it to spite his family. Families with tight control over their children (through money or other means) often raise creative children who know exactly how to wage war in that environment.</p>
<p>If I were the OP, I'd point blank ask my friends: why are you telling your kids about this, rather than letting them think they earned it on their own? Do they leave price tags on all their gifts?</p>
<p>Whether driven to them or not, ECs are still performed by the kid (except in those faked circumstances which are pretty obviously unethical.)</p>
<p>Legacy status at an Ivy or other selective school does not get an unqualified student in. It may make a difference for which very qualified student gets in, which is different from the OP's example. (Neither of mine were legacy.)</p>
<p>And I agree with S-mom. If my kid's qualifications were below what seemed necessary to get in, I would not pay the 20 to get him in. (I'm assuming a kid who really doesn't have it, not the proverbial "smart but tests poorly" example.) I don't even have to think about this. The lesson I would be demonstrating to my kid goes against everything we value.</p>
<p>I know a family who did exactly what the OP said, they donated a huge sum to the university and their son was admitted, then they put many decals with the name of that college in every car they owned, they even made the HS mention where their son got in, and now, the kid isn't doing well, he transferred to the Art School so he doesn't have to deal with finals, and he is far behind his class and I doubt he will be graduating in time. Money doesn't buy abilities, intelligence or happiness, so I would let them brag and live in an illusion, doesn't bother me at all, and I'm happy I'm not in that situation.</p>
<p>I also wonder why they were bragging. Was it bragging because of what school their kids were going to, or bragging because they were able to donate so much money? It doesn't quite make sense, especially if these were individuals who did not put any focus on their financial standing prior to the college admissions process. </p>
<p>There are a lot of assumptions being made in this thread. We've known several development admits through the years, and, honestly, none of them could be described as some of you here are describing these kids. They attended their colleges, many in very demanding majors, definitely did not seek out the 'easiest profs', graduated with honors, went on to grad schools, and entered the working world in many different fields. None of the ones I can think of offhand have any sense of entitlement, and, with most, you would not even know what their family financial situation is.</p>
<p>The number of this type of 'admits' is so very small that it really shouldn't concern anyone. Are there people who flaunt their wealth? Sure but who cares? Are there people who brag? Again, yes, and it's annoying but let's not automatically group every rich kid into this category, and automatically assume that they don't deserve to be there, that they won't succeed, that they'll be catered to with easy classes and easy profs, that they'll be guaranteed a job on graduation as an investment banker, etc. No one likes sour grapes. The other issue is that the kids admitted in these circumstances are unlikely to be that far off the grid of typical admits, and, as always, friends and neighbors don't usually know the entire picture of the situation.</p>
<p>We all do what we can for our kids. No kid that I know has done it all on their own. There is no level playing field. That isn't the way things work in our society.</p>
<p>Thanks to legacies, donations and kids paying full tuition, other less priviledged ones get full rides to the college of their dreams. The world is far from perfect, but does it really matter whether a few spots are taken by a handful of rich, spoiled kids who will either drop out in a few years or pull up their pants and prove their worth?</p>
<p>
[quote]
...or pull up their pants and prove their worth?
[/quote]
I'm wondering why their pants were down in the first place. (Sorry, but this expression has me laughing, and I've never come across it before.)</p>
<p>I'm French. It must be a reaction from dealing with all those kids with their pants down to their knees and showing scanty underwear.... As a teacher I spend a lot of timetelling them to pull them up in every sense of the word!</p>
<p>You know, I have friends like that....and it bugs me. However it is just one part of their personality. Overall they are good people, caring, fun, moral etc. Just be proud of your child. Realize you are different. Your children are different. </p>
<p>I agree with payingthreetuitions. There's a deliberate distortion of a contest that's purportedly merit-based. The fact that one would then brag about enjoying success in distorting the outcome is even more offensive.</p>
<p>And I agree with Calmom as to the suggestion that there will be ultimate justice when these less than qualifed kids can't measure up in their elite schools. She's right that they will will get through just fine. There are all sorts of less-than-stellar connected kids at these schools. I wish we could all, myself included, let go of the notion that the most elite schools are exclusively populated by brilliant students.</p>
Well, since I don't believe it is a merit based process or that it purports to be, or even pretends to be, I can see why we'd differ in our opinions. </p>
<p>College admission at selective private schools is simply an institution deciding "which set of applicants most nearly meets all of my needs this particular year". It is not a contest and it is not based (wholly) on merit. It is merely a selection process designed and manipulated to meet institutional needs and goals. This is a concept we always have trouble with on the "high stats asians are discriminated against " threads. This is not a contest, unless you want to view it as more of a beauty contest than a race with the school being the arbiter of beauty. </p>
<p>This particular institution decided $1,000,000 or more and this kid's stats made him an admit. I really don't see a problem with that as my kid might have received some of that money and without him they couldn't be as generous to her or her dorm might not have been refurbished. He met a need. She met a need. In some ways, it all squares up if you consider the whole picture, while kid vs. kid it will never seem fair. JMO.</p>
<p>Exactly right. If one can manage to see the selection process as geared toward meeting institutional needs, it makes sense. I admit, I sometimes have trouble keeping that in my head.</p>
<p>THe parents the OP describes are about as selfish as you can get....while the result for others is laudible, it was a side result of their original intentions, to buy their childs way in</p>
<p>What makes them selfish is that they want to look good while putting down their own children, and parents that do that are just someone I wouldn't want as a friend, who wants to impress others so badly they are oblvious to how that makes their children look</p>
I have the same trouble shoshi. When we look at the results for individual kids we lose sight of the whole. Can't see the forest for those (sometimes "unfair") trees, can we?</p>
<p>I think putting your kid in a top school has more benefits than making yourself look good to your friends. I don't really see anything wrong with paying for your kid's admission because it allows other students who can't afford to go to the school to attend.</p>
<p>A lot of the competitive colleges will say that something like 80 percent of their applicants can do the work...okay, maybe only 30-50 percent at someplace like Yale. I doubt there are many cases of development admits who are flat out unqualified. Just as there are spots for quarterbacks, tuba players, and ballet dancers, there are spots for those whose parents can make a significant financial contribution. The numbers involved are small. But the notion of development admits is a nice datum in refuting those anti-AA advocates who insist that "everyone else" gets in on their merits.</p>
<p>I think that familes sometimes forget that w/ so many strong apps, many of the special admits (be they legacy, geog, urm, ahtlete or development) are capable of doing the work at theses schools. Even if the school is reaching a little farther into the barrel for some canditates than others, the patently unqualif are rarely admitted.</p>