<p>I'm Indian and I can honestly say that it sucks, especially since my parents are the stereotypical type. But that doesn't really matter here, what does is the fact that they make me feel like crap for not getting into ivy league or top ranked schools like all other Indian pre meds and kids in general.</p>
<p>Ive graduated from college now and don't really care anymore
that I didn't get into my dream school after high school. The
problem is that all of my Indian friends are going to top ranked
schools and my parents are just driving me crazy. I just can't
help but feel like a total failure and an idiot for it.</p>
<p>Even for med school my rents
want me to go to a "top ranked" like all other Indians because otherwise I won't be "as
successful" as them and "will
have better opportunities". </p>
<p>My grades are terrible, and Im probably the only Indian pre
med to say that. Im looking
into postbac/SMP options so
that I may be lucky with mid tier
and low tier med schools let
alone top ones. I mean im
graduating with a 3.3 after 5 years if ug which is unheard of
amongst my friends since many
graduated early in just 3 years. My first three years my gpa was a 2.7 due to depression and my
last two years I transferred to a
new uni and have a 4.0 with a
39S MCAT. I was happier and
a lot more responsible with my
self.</p>
<p>The point is even if I decide to
become a drug dealer or a
porn star, I don't think people
(parents and friends included)
would appreciate it unless I
was "top ranked". How do
other Indian pre meds who are
like me (highly unlikely but
worth a shot) deal with people
like this? I just feel like
bursting out sometimes.</p>
<p>Btw if you go to a top ranked
school then good for you, but
you don't count in terms of
helping me out from the comfort
of your ivy league educations. Sorry for being blunt about this but I'm just really annoyed at some people who think they are better then me because they graduated from Cornell or Emory or Hopkins or whatever.</p>
<p>Yes I do and its more than just so that I can brag to people about it. I have a very personal reason for it and did well on the MCAT so I think that counts for something. </p>
<p>I’m just sick of my parents, family, and friends judging me for something superficial like this, its been over five years.</p>
<p>What question are you asking that you think we can answer? </p>
<p>How do you deal with your parents, family members? Lose their phone number (except at Fafsa time).</p>
<p>Your friends? Get new friends. </p>
<p>I don’t see that it’s so hard. If they are that poisonous, don’t drink the poison. If the are not that bad, quit whining. </p>
<p>And yeah. I do have a lot of experience with poisonous family dynamics. Wasn’t really that hard for me. Saw my Dad an average of once a year for 20 years. Talked about the weather, then left. No real animosity, just nothing for me there.</p>
<p>I guess my question is how do you deal with people who think that they are better than you just because they go to an elite school? How do you not feel stupid for not going there?</p>
<p>And I’m not American, I’m Indian. Family matters to me but I just hate being compared and put in a worse light than them because I didn’t go to a “top ranked” school.</p>
<p>I guess it’s something cultural that most people here just won’t get.</p>
<p>Eh whatever, ultimately
your right, it’s not that big a deal and I never gave much importance to it before. But it has been going on for a very long time and I’m kinda fed up with it.</p>
<p>how do you deal with people who think that they are better than you just because they go to an elite school? How do you not feel stupid for not going there?</p>
<p>Oh my…once you’re a doctor, why would you have to live near or talk to such people again? That’s the great thing about being an adult and being financially independent…you can move on.</p>
<p>The question is not “how to deal with your race.” You don’t have a racial problem. What you have a problem with is reconciling your expectations of you and other people’s expectations of you with your current reality. </p>
<p>As I see it, you can continue to allow your envy, disappointment, and lack of self-confidence to eat away at you, or you can take a look around, realize the wealth of possibilities that are open to you, and make your life your own. The choice is up to you.</p>
<p>^ I understand that shades, and I know that there are a lot of opportunities for me out there and I am very happy with myself for finishing my undergrad strong and doing well on the MCAT. </p>
<p>I will be happy with myself as long as I am ultimately a doctor at the end and work to reach my other life goals.</p>
<p>I’ve been dealing with family and people for a very long time now that say success = rank and prestige of your institution which I think is a stupid way to look at things. There seveal thousands of successful people that didn’t go to ivy leagues or even college.</p>
<p>Yet amongst my culture there is this notion that the only way to succeed is to be from a “top ranked” institution.</p>
<p>That’s the stigma that people are using to drive me crazy and I thought it would stop after college but it hasn’t.</p>
<p>I know it’s hard to understand where I’m coming from if you aren’t Indian, and even then it would be hard since you probably are in a “top” uni. But thanks for helping anyways.</p>
<p>I guess the answer is to not care which is what I have been doing but hopefully can keep it up (though honestly I’m at the point where I want to punch certain people in
the face lol)</p>
<p>It’s quite easy to understand – this ain’t rocket science. The Asian culture (including Chinese and Japanese) has a long history of testing into the top school which then ‘sets your path for life’. In India, one goes from “high school” to engineering school (IIT), business school or med school – no liberal arts allowed. France has a similar educational tracking system. We GET it.</p>
<p>The US system is different. </p>
<p>Shades nailed it. Only YOU can shed the disappointment. Or, tell your parents that you will apply back to the “top med school in India.” If they want ‘top’, then you will follow their wishes. (Watch 'em backpedal quickly.)</p>
<p>“I guess my question is how do you deal with people who think that they are better than you just because they go to an elite school?”</p>
<p>-ignore, why do you care? My D. did not even care to go to any elite school, just was not her thing. She graduated from state UG and had no problem getting accepted to Med. Schools. I am not sure if this is bothering you, or something deeper, since this is very superficial concern that is not a concern at all for very many very top caliber students. And if you are concerned with your heritage, again, nothing you can change and again it is very superficial. Majority of my D’s Medical School class are Asians, yes, D. is minortiy (unusual for caucasian). I have not noticed any concern when we visited D’s white coat ceremony. And, yes, she is at one of the top Med. Schools with most kids being from Ivy’s and #1 represented is Berkley. So…? D. doe not feel inferior either, she is just fine as well as others who came from state UGs.<br>
You were probably just in a bad mood when you posted, this is my guess.</p>
<p>Thanks Miami, your answer does make sense and I was just annoyed while writing this I guess.</p>
<p>I know that im not going to get into a “top ranked” med school and I don’t really care. I’m perfectly fine with that, but my point was that my family and friends all have this stereotypical Indian notion that only doctors from the top med schools are successful.</p>
<p>The majority of my Indian friends all go to top schools and it just annoys me that my family places so much emphasis on something this dumb.</p>
<p>…I still say the same…ignore, nothing else you could do, let them be who they are, you cannot change them and …you be who you are…there are no options except for getting into mental situation that you do not want to be…</p>
<p>OP, Does it occur to you that there is a chance that many students from the elite/ivy schools may be put into a very uncomfortable situation, just like you, when they are asked where they go to school? I heard most (except for the few obnoxious ones) from these colleges are very soon “trained” by not so pleasant experiences that, when asked where they go to college, they will reply “some college in the east/west coast” or “in XXX city.” Also, most do not want to wear a jacket or T-shirt with their school’s name or mascot on it unless they are on campus.</p>
<p>mom2college…
You might have missunderstood. Lots of times MD from Harvard is working in the same office as MD from no rnank Med. School. They also earn the same money or Harvard grad. might have less. It really depends on circumstances. They both might live in the same neighborhood (which is very likely). I myself never cared if my MD is from top Med. School or some Med. School that I never heard about. Good doc. is a good doc, useless one is still useless. 80% of docs in my city are from local Med. School. Should I travel for treatment? Sometime I might consider it, but it will be determined by place (Mayo clinic, Cleveland Clinic,etc.), not by name of Med. Schools that docs graduated from). And these places have wide representation of docs from various schools, including internationals.</p>
<p>Well mcat2 that maybe true, but my experience has been the opposite. It’s a race in the Indian culture to see who is better than the other. If your institution is top ranked, then you are considered to be an inherently more worthy human being, otherwise you aren’t.</p>
<p>Most of my Indian friends all go to top schools and are not in the least shy or uncomfortable about making that clear to people. There is nothing wrong with that, but where it gets me is when they assume that they are better than you because of that one sole reason. </p>
<p>I know I should ignore it, but I was hoping there was an easier way since I’m just surrounded by these people. I can’t distance myself either since I need my family for money as I don’t have my own job yet.</p>