<p>I am defeated. I have lost all will to learn. I have lost all my motivation, determination and grit that I once had as a youngster. I've lost the 'can do' attitude I once had. I've lost my goals, my dreams, and my sense of being. I have been mentally, physically, and socially demoralized. I've successfully gone from a top student at a prestigious private school to a student who feels like he cannot do it. I'm stuck at UNC-Chapel Hill and I cannot get out. I've successfully screwed up a chance to transfer to Wake Forest twice. I spoke with the Dean today and he basically told me I was a screw up. Now, with my grades reeling, my next chance to get out will be to a much lesser school. My chances at law school are gone. I have no friends here. All my friends live in New York, Clemson, Atlanta, Washington, Charlottesville, and Philadelphia. This was, by far, the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. I don't know what else to do. I worked so hard in high school and I feel like I am throwing this all away. I don't know what to do or who to turn to right now. I'm lost.</p>
<p>
Avail yourself. It will feel awkward, but waltz into someone’s office and Open Your Mouth!!</p>
<p>We forum persons are nice, but we are faceless and you cannot fall into our arms and for the most part, all we can do is speak.</p>
<p>I speak as a person who has considered suicide twice: once, very many years ago, in a very emotional situation involving regular domestic violence and constraint of mobility. The other one was almost pleasantly emotionless: a basis for much of my ambition evaporated, and I calmly considered the consequences of failure to revive it.
But ignore the latter; it is a figment only of familiarity with death:
if you are consumed with emotion, then know that emotion is a madness. You are compromised and you are weak, and that is human and only natural, but it is no reason to allow yourself to succumb to one catastrophe. Obviously your situation will have many consequences, but you do not need law school.</p>
<p>If you lose yourself by obsessing in what you are doing now, you can forget your suffering. This is not healthy - it is like covering your wounds with sheet metal. But surely if you bleed, then sheet metal is better than nothing until you get yourself to a hospital - so do something for now, and forget that lost identity forever.</p>
<p>Imagine what you would be doing if you were not suffering. Why are you not doing that? Rhetorical and Obvious. Clearly that emotion may have cut some of your productivity, so here are some tips on returning yourself, because you still have to fix this problem and if you can’t do it as you are, then you have to alter your state:
- Do not lose sleep over this. (see (3))
- Do not let your self-presentation, your breakfast, your waking time, your hygiene or your morning routine slip over this. That would be disastrous for everything else.
- Do not lose physical activity; you can exercise yourself to sleep. This will also alleviate your mood a bit (emotions can be chemical).
- Seek assistance. Do not emote, ponder or resist this task, because you cannot know what is going to happen. Just do it, and try again if it fails.
- If you have lost your identity, then you can lose some inhibitions. A time of latent desperation is not the time to be shy.</p>
<p>maybe take a year off and travel around? That’s what one of my friends did when he said he needed a break from school.</p>
<p>I have screwed up. I had a door open and friends ready to help me, and for some reason because of Wake’s screwing up registration and me screwing up trying to get classes after the fact, it didn’t happen. Reapplying really isn’t an option considering how short the dean was with me. WF took no blame for the screw up at all and piled it all on my shoulders… That was my dream, but because I have lost most of my confidence over the past year and half, I got scared and then when I decided to finally go for it, it wasn’t possible. </p>
<p>I am seeing a counselor, but I can’t say it’s helping me all that much. I know what I am doing to myself is wrong, but I can’t fight my way out of it. </p>
<p>I did ask my parents if there was a way to take a semester off, but if I did, I wouldn’t be able to get back into UNC or anywhere else, considering how my GPA now hovers around a 3.0 (down from a 3.4 last year). I don’t know what else to do. I’ve worked to get to Wake Forest for most of my life, and when I finally did get in, things just got screwed up on both sides, and I guess I didn’t want to go bad enough to where I was taking the last remaining classes that were open, most of which did nothing except fill up space. I went to personally speak with them because I felt it was the right thing to do, and it seemed like they could care less. I didn’t HAVE to do that. I thought it would make some sort of difference. I felt so at home there. </p>
<p>To make matters worse, once I came back from WF, I found out my potential roommate at UNC had made plans over Christmas break to live elsewhere without telling me. Everything is just falling apart. This is awful. I’m not used to being so alone during the school year.</p>
<p>Wake’s boring anyway…you said you have friends in hotlanta…move there!</p>
<p>your still young. take a year off.</p>
<p>A 3.0 is not a disaster…yes you might not go directly to one of the top law schools right after college but you can and will do just fine; (lawyers aren’t all that happy as a profession anyways).
I agree-exercise, stay active, prescription medication might help; find a dean or professor that isn’t going to insult you. Sophomore year can be a dud-look to interesting opportunities for your junior year.</p>
<p>back pack europe</p>
<p>bott/tu, or “how i stopped caring and learned to love squirrels”</p>
<p>Immediately stop going to school and do something else for a year. Do something you would never have allowed yourself to do. Like travel or take up a sport or hobby. Go to LA and try to be an actor. Anything except college. When you’re done with that year, you’ll understand.</p>
<p>Lower your standards.</p>
<p>I disagree with the others that taking a semester or two off is the right answer. I do think the OP needs to evaluate his position. For what it’s worth, it’s very common to have a mediocre sophomore year; it’s known as the “sophomore slump” for a reason.</p>
<p>My suggestion, ahduke, would be to determine exactly what it is you don’t like about Carolina. The next step would be to decide if they are things you could change or improve (i.e. bsmom’s suggestions). </p>
<p>If you do decide that there are several things about Carolina you don’t like and can’t change, you have plenty of time to get in a transfer application. Most transfer deadlines are in March or April, Wake included.</p>
<p>wow…have you considered suicide?</p>
<p>Change counselors immediately and find someone you can connect with. Some are clueless and others are a bad match for certain individuals.</p>
<p>survival of the fittest!!! … including emotionally</p>
<p>mcb52’s comment is an example why you should not use online forums for advice; meeting people you know face to face is preferred. Keep talking to counselors and friends but in the meantime remember you have two more years of college to raise that gpa. Plus there’s plenty of clubs and volunteer projects you can get involved with to take your mind off some of those problems and also improve your resume. I’m not in a bit of a slump myself so I can relate but you just have to keep focusing on the big picture. Also make sure you’re picking at least a few classes per semester that you know you’ll enjoy so you don’t feel like college is all work and no play.</p>
<p>Part of me does not want to take a year off because I worked so hard in High School to make it to where I have. I hate, hate, hate that I’m having some sort of breakdown at this point in my life. I’ve never had any problems before. </p>
<p>No, I’ve never considered suicide because that’s the cowards way out and hurts too many people in the process. There are days where I wish I wasn’t alive though. </p>
<p>I would love to transfer, but my friends in Hotlanta go to Emory and I won’t be transferring there with a 3.0 from Chapel Hill. If I were to somehow pull a 3.8 or something this semester then my options would get better. It just seemed like every time I tried to get to WFU, something came up and made it to where it would be hard to move or impossible. They seem to always make some sort of mistake in the process which adds headache to the whole process. </p>
<p>I realize I have time to evaulate my situation. My only avenues seem to be transfer to a lesser school back in South Carolina, take a year off, or just stay here and muddle through for 2 more years. For a guy who’s ego used to be pretty big, I’d hate to end up at CofC or Clemson with the guys from my HS who slacked off for 4 years. </p>
<p>Wake accepted me twice and both times things fell through, so chances they take me with a lower GPA after this last debunkle are pretty much zero. I could go talk to admissions AGAIN and just plead my case, explain myself, and go from there considering I am well known over there now, but even then if they think I am crying wolf, which is seems is the case, I’m probably hopeless. Telling them I’m a headcase will ruin it even further. I guess I just didn’t want to make a rash decision this semester. I got my acceptance 4 days before school started and then they fumbled registration to where I was late starting. When I got back to UNC, I just have plunged into a deep depression with the thought in the back of my mind of “what if” and asking myself why I couldn’t get it together to get out. </p>
<p>I never really had a third choice when applying to schools. WFU always seemed like the place for me and felt like a place where I could be happy. I got into UNC OOS, Vandy, BC, BU, and some other schools, but got WL at WFU out of HS for whatever reason. Now, when I had the chance, my mental state drove me to completely ruin that as far as I am concerned. Unless they have a big heart and I can sell myself again to admissions, I’m through with them. I hate I’ll go through life wondering why I did this.</p>
<p>i noticed you said you couldnt take time off because you wouldnt get in anywhere else, and wouldnt get back into unc. if you want you can actually take time off from unc (i know atleast 1-2 semesters), and return pretty much any time you want. i was in the same situation where i was completely unhappy with carolina, but couldnt transfer for atleast another semester, so i looked in to taking time off and all you have to do is notify the registrars office; in looking at info online, and talking to advisors, the reapplication process (so long as you are in good standing when you leave > im assuming that with a 3.0 now you will be) is merely in place to keep tabs on students as they leave then re enroll. </p>
<p>you also might want to look at some schools similar to wake (this seems to be a place you feel would be a good fit)… possibly sewanee, mary washington etc </p>
<p>best of luck</p>
<p>Go to your counseling center today. You sound seriously depressed, and consequently your outlook is very pessimistic about your life and your future. Even though you feel like a total screw-up, your perspective is due to your depression, not reality. Please get professional help.</p>
<p>My advice: </p>
<ol>
<li>Go use the counseling service (or whatever they have) at your school. </li>
<li>If not 1, call up some friends and complain about your life to them. The more people you get to talk about your problem, the less emotional you should feel about it. </li>
<li>If you do not regularly exercise, consider getting membership at your school’s gym and do some cardio exercise. It really helps alleviate your mood (I was a lot moodier and frequently had depressing thoughts before I started working out…now I get less of those). </li>
<li>You sound like you are having a depression attack right now, which is why everything looks very bleak to you. Doing one of the above things will help you break out of the vicious cycle, at which point you can reflect on your situation. Until then, you can’t do that because all your thoughts are pessimistic and depressing.</li>
</ol>