Decisions, decisions...Academic rigor vs. Proximity

<p>There are also Residence Hall Advisors (upperclass students) on every hall who are the go-to people if there's any problem. Life in a dorm is actually a fairly protected life. Something bad can happen anywhere, of course, but these small lovely campuses are about as safe as it gets.</p>

<p>I just went to the closet to put some clothes away and my Boston Massachusetts sweatshirt slipped off the shelf and fell on my head. I guess I had to literally be hit over the head with it. Thanks all!!</p>

<p>I don't have anything to add; everyone else has said all such great things. Just let me say that this is CC at its best! this thread made me smile.</p>

<p>And Smith has "houses", not dorms. Generally speaking, these are much more closeknit communities than you find elsewhere. There are weekly teas. Every first year has a "big sister" who checks in with her, helps her find the right classes, brings her goodies, and makes sure her birthday is acknowledged, and can be called upon for help in dealing with a health problem.</p>

<p>And (if this helps), 10% of the school is made up of women ages 26-70 (Ada Comstock Scholars), including many mothers and grandmothers. They are all around, and your d. will likely meet many of them, and perhaps strike up a friendship with a few.</p>

<p>As if that wasn't enough - when my d. returned from India helping during the tsunami during her first winter break (digging bodies out of schools, etc.) - she felt kind of low in trying to readjust to the normal world. Well, we just called one of the deans and asked her to check in with her now and again. It went GREAT! (though only necessary for about two weeks)</p>

<p>Smith is a very nurturing place.</p>

<p>Oh, thanks mini, for the more specific Smith info. Wow, I'm ready to apply there myself!</p>

<p>You beat me to it. I want to go to Smith.</p>

<p>Me, too, but I have a little "problem". ;)</p>

<p>Well, I do have the gender, but maybe not the stats.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Me, too, but I have a little "problem".

[/quote]
Well, at least now we know where the screen name comes from....</p>

<p>Oh my gosh I'm rolling on the floor laughing!</p>

<p>I had a medical emergency in college and my housemates literally stuck boots on my feet (it was winter) and loaded me into a car and drove me to the hospital, waited to make sure I was OK and even called my parents (this was before cell phones). I had it happen again a year or so later in a foreign country during foreign study and a different group of friends at that college loaded me on the bus prone and figured out how to get to the "American hospital" and stuck by me. I'm sure my parents were frantic, I remember them calling the "american hospital" every day at 3:00 to check up on me. My roommate at that "American hospital" was another American foreign study student from a completely different college who had pneumonia. I don't think these times are much different times than the early 70s. College kids do take care of each other, they really, really do and young people rise to challenges remarkably well. My son was quite ill this past winter (a college freshman) and while we spent alot of time on the phone with me giving him advice, he managed to get to the doctor, pick up a perscription and tuck himself into bed for a couple days. It was one of those wierd parent feelings (that I couldn't take care of him) but I'm sure he feels more competent about the medical scene now.</p>

<p>FWIW, my niece (an academic but shy, awkward introvert) just sent in her deposit for UCLA. Her parents were shocked: this is a huge school populated by many blonde, short-skirted starlet-wanna-bes. (At least that's how they saw it ;) ) </p>

<p>We heard their collective gulp thousands of miles away. But...</p>

<p>They're letting her go. They're letting her make the decision. And I say... bravo to this family. I'm betting niece will do just fine, even if the beginning it may be a bumpy ride for them all. </p>

<p>By the way, I love what one of you wrote earlier "You gave her roots. Now give her wings." As good a parenting advice as any out there.</p>

<p>sigh....you all are making me wish my shy, introverted athletic daughter would be willing to go further from home!!!......:(
But only she knows where she's headed and it is her decision so I'll support her!:) (Remind me of this at this time next year!!) ;)</p>

<p>The Smith girls are extremely nice and caring, they'll look out for your daughter. Very impressed when I was there.</p>

<p>You make an important point, NorthMinnesota, about trusting your kid's decision either way. If a kid wants to stay closer to home or take a gap year, it's important to listen. If they want to try their wings farther from home, it's important to listen to that too. My son wanted a fresh start with new kids--easier to get farther from home. And I think I'd have been a bit too tempted to pop in on him if he were a lot closer--I think he needed more space.</p>

<p>In retrospect, we had it easy. It didn't matter where DS decided to go to school in the States, all the colleges are at least 10,000 miles away from us.</p>

<p>S is shy, introverted, and lacks social skills. We suspect that he lacks the common sense to decide if he is sick enough to see a doctor, etc.</p>

<p>We stressed about him being 'on his own' for months before we dropped him off at college.
For naught.
He is happy, doing well, found his tribe, and is growing up. At Christmas break, we were thrilled to see that he had blossomed into a much more confident person. So far, there have been no major problems, he has even made appointments at the clinic. </p>

<p>I suspect your daughter will surprise you. She sounds like she really has her act together, and is ready for the launch. </p>

<p>Try to compare her choices pretending that the distance doesn't matter. (Because once she gets settled, the distance won't matter to her, she'll be to busy.)</p>

<p>DD flew under the radar screen in high school. She wanted to go far away, and we didn't discourage her. She is across the country and has grown in so many ways. And as others have noted...we told DD that she was always welcome closer to home. She too, had never lived far from home...but she had traveled without us on numerous occasions. I know she was a bit homesick at first, but it's been a wonderful two years for her.</p>

<p>I'm willing to send S far away, and at this exact moment, wishing I didn't have to wait so long to do it....!</p>

<p>Now where did my last nerve get to? Must go look for it.</p>

<p>Of all colleges I've visited, Smith is the one that felt the most like a home-away-from home to me. There is this beautifully landscaped campus, established by America's great landscape architect Frederick Law Olmstead, so that when you walk around it's all cozy. You discover it as you walk around, and it never overwhelms, it just unfolds. There are gardens and shrubs of all kinds. The residence halls I saw had deep, dark woodwork inside, pianos, and everyone ate in their own house rather than a central dining hall. The campus is behind a gate, with old architecture and a beautiful tree-covered central courtyard to read under a tree. Cozy and inspirationally beautiful.</p>

<p>When you leave Smith campus, as I saw girls doing mostly in groups, you walk down a hill to Northampton's very walkable main street, full of cafes and artsy places to visit.</p>

<p>When you leave Northampton, you get on the five-college bus (free) and can go to one of the three colleges in small-town Amherst or to the smaller town of South Hadley for the Mount Holyoke campus. Most students take a course, on average, at another campus. My Amherst S loved to take a Smith course for particular professors but also because he liked the vibe there in Northampton and Smith. </p>

<p>For your kind of daughter, where she might want to extend herself outward in stages as she is ready, I can't imagine a more nurturing physical set-up than Smith, within Northampton, within the Five College Consortium.</p>

<p>I've also read they require all the women to take some education in basic financial management before they graduate. Wish I'd had some. </p>

<p>I have a friend in Minnesota who sent a D to a different Seven-Sister LAC and her S to Appleton. She mentioned that the S was trying to find himself, and Appleton was working for him. So while both schools are good, I really think Smith sounds remarkable for your D's emotional and intellectual needs.</p>

<p>I had to gulp to send my youngest far away to California, but the funny thing is, as long as they come home for vacations, it doesn't matter how far they come from. And most parents do not go visit national colleges "at the drop of a hat" so your D won't find the other moms are hovering but not hers. Perhaps that's why they do help each other a lot at Smith, because they're not running home every weekend or vice-versa.</p>

<p>re getting sick: S is only 2.5 hours from home. He has been sick several times in his 3 years at college but has never wanted to come home nor did he want me to come to his school. In each instance he has gone to the health center, gotten meds. or advice on how to survive and muddled through it. So even if they are close, they don't always want or need your help. HIs roommate went out and got medicine for him at least once that I know of. They do take care of each other.</p>

<p>Same with visits home, he basically comes home just for school breaks even though he is close enough to come more often. When he was a freshman, I actually thought it harder that he was not far away and yet I still rarely saw him because he so seldom chose to come home!<br>
Also even those who are within driving distance are coming home less these days because of the ridiculous price of gasoline. I know my S thinks twice before making the trip due the $$ it takes to fill up his truck to get here.</p>