<p>We had an interesting conversation last night at our house. My daughter's friend texted her to get some advice about her BF "cheating" on her. </p>
<p>Apparently he was responding to a text from an ex and it was something you shouldn't be saying to someone who is an ex. (My daughter either didn't want to elaborate in front of us or didn't want to humiliate her friend--bottom line, I don't know exactly what was said.)</p>
<p>The texts from the friend came while we were playing cards, so we started talking about the concept of cheating. My daughter and I thought a BF or GF could cheat without physical contact. My husband, son, and my daughter's BF all said they didn't consider that cheating.</p>
<p>I am wondering if this is a male vs. female p.o.v. or if age has anything to do with it (although my husband and I had differing views). I'm going to post this in both the parent cafe and the college forums to see.</p>
<p>What would you find worse:
Your significant other having a physical relationship with someone else
or
Your significant other having a deep emotional relationship with someone else.</p>
<p>I think men just view the former as worse while women might view the latter as just as bad, if not worse.</p>
<p>Perhaps it may not be technically cheating, but with a text "saying something you shouldn't say to an ex" (which I would assume is something sexual, personally, which may be why your daughter didn't elaborate what was said) there's the INTENT to cheat even if it hasn't happened already. It's basically the same thing.</p>
<p>It depends on the person. My ex considered me talking to a guy as cheating (I guess I cheated quite a bit!). IMO, cheating is pretty much something that you wouldn't want your S.O. to know about or see. If you are hiding something, you shouldn't be doing it. You also don't have to have sex to cheat--it can also be having a deep emotional relationship with someone. It's just not really a clear cut line between okay and cheating.</p>
<p>I'm no expert, but I think that the reason why most guys don't consider emotional stuff cheating is because they don't tend to be very emotional. Girls are also more sensative.</p>
<p>in my opinion, if someone is having secret relations (whether they be physical or emotional) with someone other than their bf/gf, it would definitely count as cheating</p>
<p>But what do you mean by "emotionally close?" That can mean "extremely physically attracted to" or "trusting the person enough to share your deepest feelings, thoughts, etc." In either case, unless one is combined with the other, I don't think you can call it cheating.</p>
<p>Emotionally close--like telling them that you love them and want to be with them and all that crap. Pretty much a relationship without physical stuff. My best friend was a guy and I told him everything and we were really close but it wasn't like that. There is a difference between being friends with each other and wanting to be together.</p>
<p>I think cheating depends on the P.O.V of those involved. In my personal opinion, I would be jealous if my guy had a deep emotional connection with another besides me. I wouldn't count that as cheating though. They could have grown up together and known everything about each other which makes it easier for them to connect. But, I feel like there is a difference between being able to talk to someone on a really personal basis and loving them. </p>
<p>It would severely suck if the boy/girl was in love with someone other than their significant other. As long as he/she is in love with you, made the decision to be with you and you only, I don't consider that cheating either. (But I'll admit that it would be a tough relationship knowing the person you love, loves someone else. I would probably break it off...IMO.)</p>
<p>To me, physical acts with another person is cheating. Because by then, it doesn't matter if they have a connection or just an attraction. They made a choice to betray their partners.</p>
<p>But there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. You love family and friends. You are in love with your partner.</p>
<p>I would say physical contact constitutes cheating and nothing more. While if I found out my girlfriend was saying, "I miss you" (or something to that effect) to an ex-boyfriend, I'd probably get mad, but I would not consider it cheating.</p>
<p>Okgirl: I understand the difference you are talking about. The situation would be really difficult (not to mention awkward), but you can't control how your heart feels towards somebody. That's why I don't consider loving someone (like a family member) and being in love with someone else cheating. </p>
<p>When you make a decision to act upon it, that's when you purposefully committee an act of adultury IMO.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm no expert, but I think that the reason why most guys don't consider emotional stuff cheating is because they don't tend to be very emotional. Girls are also more sensative.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes, you are no expert... as you stereotype b/c of ignorance.</p>
<p>Hard_knocks: I'm curious, could you please define 'close friendship'? Otherwise, it'll be easy to mistake any friendship with the other sex as 'cheating'. Also, it's very possible to be close with those of the other sex without feelings of loving the other person or being in love with the other person. I just want to add that for a person to be able to be in love with two people, but made the conscious decision to be with one and stay true to that one person is, IMO, not cheating.</p>
<p>Also, what does 'dh' mean? (dedicated hubbie, dangerous hommie, dog house JK :) )</p>
<p>When physical intimacy is involved that's a different story. If he/she cheats, would it be easier to forgive if they claim it was only a 'physical' rather than 'physical and emotional' relationship?</p>
<p>tnguyen08, a close friendship to me -- he'd call the other woman first to share good news, or he'd open up and share things with her (about his hopes and dreams, childhood, whatever) that he doesn't generally discuss with his casual buddies.</p>
<p>dh means darling husband, but it sounds less hokey!</p>