<p>If there's one thing I've learned in college it's that buying books from the bookstore is generally a big waste of money. Tell her to check out Amazon.com or Half.com for used books, ask upperclassmen in her major, etc. Often, a book will only be used for a week or two of the class - possibly it's in the university library and can be borrowed. Or you can share books with friends in your class. Lots of options.</p>
<p>Sorry to hijack this thread.</p>
<p>PS. I called my mother so often during the first weeks of class that she started saying things like, 'don't you have any friends to talk to?' But I didn't!</p>
<p>DS is returning Friday for his Junior year. This is the first year I'm not going down to move him in, so that will certainly be an adjustment for me, not him (we live in NH, he goes to school in TX)...can't get much further away.</p>
<p>The method of communication that I finally found that worked the best with DS was IMing. Since he's not big on talking on the phone, this was a great alternative, since he's on the computer 24/7 it seems. </p>
<p>All you new emptynesters, hang in there. It does get easier, I promise!</p>
<p>Jenskate, good luck with your semester abroad!</p>
<p>It's nice to hear that other parents are suffering from the same depression that I am. We said good bye to our son on Friday night and both my husband and I were so down. We went back to our hotel and indulged in lots of self pity. Our son seems to be happy as a clam, we are just feeling sorry for ourselves. This is our youngest, so life is going to be so different. I am having a much harder time dealing with this child going off than I did with my older son because my whole life is changing now. Oh well, everyone says that I'll get used to it.</p>
<p>We just returned home after dropping off our daughter in Chapel Hill too! I know exactly how you are feeling. I fought tears the whole way home (2 days of driving makes for a lot of 'tear fighting'). </p>
<p>It was such a long trip, we stayed a few days (had to do the out of state CTOPS too). Things did not go perfectly either. She brought her Dell laptop from home...after getting it configured, couldn't get the printer recognized. Some weird virus picked up in the configuring process. Had to leave her in the hands of a Resnet neighbor on her floor. UNC One card didn't link to her Wachovia account before we left either...hope she can figure out how to get her clothes washed without that card...lol! Courses were tough to get even though Admissions assured us that being in the last registration session would not hurt her chances for classes. But she got that all important Chem class and one of her first choice Honors classes and didn't care about the rest of them (Calc, Spanish, etc...), so all seems well there even though she'll have to fight the add/drop thing too. Admissions claims not to have her latest SATs with her SAT II scores, so she has to run copies to her Chem/Calc teachers to make sure she doesn't get booted from those classes. On day two, she wrecked her brand new Vespa flying down one of those gorgeous Chapel Hill hills (Houston IS flat ya know), so she has to arrange to have the Raleigh dealer pick the thing up later this week. Thank God she is okay. Aaargh....it was just so hard to drive away and leave her to handle all these little glitches.</p>
<p>I have cratered and called her a few times. I have been relieved to get rushed off the phone so she can go to some fun event. I guess the thing that worried me most was that she might be lonely, not knowing a soul at UNC and being so far from home. But she has quickly buddied up with her roommate and suitemates and a few kids from her floor in Craige North. I was always so shy and I have to constantly remind myself that my daughter is a completely different person. </p>
<p>I know it will be easier next week...but I'm not going near her room for a few days.</p>
<p>PS...on the communication thing, we set our d up with Skype. Hubby uses it for work and loves it.</p>
<hr>
<p>Jenskate! Where are you doing your semester abroad? Thanks for the book buying tip too. Books for three of L's classes ran almost $500 from the university bookstore. We'll sell those babies back in December and check out your suggested website. Hope all is going well for you at Rice.</p>
<p>Idmom, Wow, your daughter sure has had it rough! The biggest obstacle our daughter had was her internet wouldn't work (she called us as we were driving home), but she took it to IT on Sunday and they did something to it and now it works fine. I know someone else who luckily got into Chemistry; and our daughter was able to pick up Biology; she said if you kept refreshing the page, eventually a spot would open up in a class.</p>
<p>Your daughter also got lucky, getting one of those nice new south campus low-rise dorms. Two of my daughter's friends are suffering in old Craige (the highrise) with no A/C. Those high-rises are such a dump. My son stayed in HJ last summer for a computer camp, and it looked the same as it did when I went to school year 25 years ago. Our daugher likes north campus because of the proximity to classes and downtown, but she does miss that there are more freshies on south campus. She definitely likes the A/C in her dorm (which was built in 1928 and only remodeled in the early '80s, so it's not very up-to-date). It still has that old-university character, which is pretty cool.</p>
<p>They'll all get a big shock with classes starting today -- I worry that my D will have a huge reading load with biology, history, English, drama and sociology. I told her she can't procrastinate like she is prone to do!</p>
<p>Good luck to your D; glad she has made friends -- even those who go into such a large university with some friends still can have a rough time adjusting. They just have to find their niche. And learning to do things by themselves is a big obstacle -- going into class by themselves, eating lunch by themselves if no one is around, etc.</p>
<p>GH81 I told me wife that somone on this board was dissing her old dorm, of which she has many fond memories. She asked what the comment was and I said "Hinton James looks like a prison", to which her response was "It does. And?" </p>
<p>So I guess it really hasn't changed since '78. :)</p>
<p>Yeah, one of my D's friends from h.s. even requested HJ as her first choice, so she could get the "full UNC south campus experience."</p>
<p>By the way, my son absolutely had a blast staying there, even if it does look like a prison...</p>
<p>Of course, the way the outside doors and even the hall bathroom doors are kept locked at all times on my D's north campus dorm makes it a bit prison-like, too, I guess...</p>
<p>Goheels, Give yourself brownie points for not crying until you got home. D2, a HS senior, has made me swear on a stack of bibles not to cry when I take her to whatever college she attends next year.</p>
<p>lderochi, Let me get me dictionaarrrgghy. Aaaarrgghh you trying to make fun of me way of conversin'? Pirate and Texan have some thangs in common, don't ya know?</p>
<p>Cur, I almost needed an interpreter to understand my Grandma, a lifelong panhandle resident. I didn't know one-syllable words could be pronounced with 4 syllables. And I grew up in Oklahoma!</p>
<p>This is my first post here and just wanted to say it was nice to see that so many others are dealing with the same emotions!</p>
<p>We still have alittle while before we drop our daughter off at college on Sept.14th, but things are beginning to get kind of crazy around here!!! It seems there is soo much to do, so much to pack and so many things that need taken care of before she goes! WHEW! It is over-whelming at times!!</p>
<p>We have been through the "what if's" and seems she can find something to be worried about most every day! It is hard at times to find just the right things to say to help ease her stress, but we are managing.</p>
<p>One good thing...she finally got her dorm room and room mate information the other day and looks like they found a really good match for her! She also got the room layout she wanted so all that really made a difference in her outlook! {ours too!! ;-)</p>
<p>I go from feeling sad that my only child will not be 'underfoot' as she always has and that so much is changing for us....to wishing it was already time for her to go! {That is only on the days when she is driving me NUTS though! LOL!}</p>
<p>I have always been a stay-at-home-mom since the day she entered kindergarden so there are going to be big changes in store for me soon! I am still not sure what I am going to do with all my 'free time' but hubby and I both are starting to make plans for things to occupy our new time!</p>
<p>As for the drop-off day...I am hoping things will go smoothly and that I will not make too much of an idiot out of myself.
Maybe I will get all my crying out before then? {LOL! I doubt it!}</p>
<p>Pam - ya know my d actually had one of the north campus dorms as one of her top choices for exactly the reason you described...she wanted to get that collegiate ambiance of an older building. But I think they just deposited most of the oos kids down there on South Campus. Craige North is beautiful...much, MUCH nicer than dorms back in my day....so she is a happy camper. But the hike to classes....wow! Had to ship her a couple pairs of comfy slip-on Pumas today since she has already developed quite a few blisters. Resisted the urge to needle her about the wrecked scooter being the reason she is on foot....lol!</p>
<p>TimeInMyHands - I know exactly how you feel....about a month ago, I was ready to get on with it. When you know something is gonna be tough, it makes you all the more anxious to get to it and get through it. Today was not bad. My d called to let me know how classes went (she was humoring the old mom I assure you) and to complain about blisters; and to assure me she 'drank from the well' to guarantee straight As (UNC folklore).</p>
<p>And all of our disasters are under control and my d handled every one of them herself. Got the printer set up, fixed the wireless problem, checked on her UNC One card and got an expense account set up for laundry, etc..., found the bus that runs to Target and hopped on with her roommate to buy a futon, talked with her Chem teacher and made sure he knew she met prerequisites with her SAT II, called the Raleigh dealership and is meeting one of their guys at the parking garage to get her Vespa in for repairs...and so on.... </p>
<p>My baby doesn't need me anymore. But hey...I solved the blister problem! :-)</p>
<p>TimeInMyHands, a neighbor of mine who just dropped her baby off at Clemson said the same thing that you did. She said her job has been taking care of her son and now she feels like she just became unemployed. She and her husband bought bikes and are going biking every day after dinner and she is making plans to cook meals now that she has avoided because her son didn't like them. We all adjust! Good luck with all of the last minute packing.</p>
<p>Truthfully, I did cry a few times in the week before we left to drop my daughter off at a college 2,000 miles from home. But, after we got her home, I realized she hadn't died so there is no reason to mourn her absence. She's just off at college, and the fact that she is confident enough to start life on her own is a sign that my day-to-day job as her Mom was a successful effort. So, I'm celebrating both her happiness and my success at raising such a wonderful person, rather than dwelling on the empty house. Being phased out of the parenting gig is just a sign that you've done a good job. :)</p>
<p>Thanks idmom! Yes, that is exactly how I feel...wanting to get this over with because of how anxious and stressed we all are, but yet not wanting the time to pass any quicker because it will be such a big change!</p>
<p>In my heart, I just know she will be fine! Her work ethics have always been strong and she is quite independent when it comes to taking on what needs to be done.
We seem to let go little by little from the day they are born but this is such a big step!! {sometimes I think it is harder on us parents!!}</p>
<p>Like carolyn said {Thank you too!!}, "being phased out of the parenting gig is just a sign that you've done a good job." That is something we all need to be reminded of!</p>
<p>Cute story...A friend of mine's daughter decided the night before she was to leave that she 'really didn't want to go to college anymore' and was being quite difficult!
Well, her parents took her anyway, got her settled and left to go home, fearing the worst!
Her mom patiently waited for her to call later and when she finally did she said she was having such a good time she had forgotten to call! {LOL!} She had already made several new friends and was getting aquainted with her new surroundings!</p>
<p>CinciMom...yes, "unemployed" is a good description! {LOL} Although I really feel they never stop needing us no matter how 'old' they get!</p>
<p>Hubby and I really are looking forward to having more together time and we actually do have alot of things we've neglected over the years that we plan to take on as projects!
Maybe we should dust off those mountain bikes in the garage as well!! {LOL} We both could use the exercise!!</p>
<p>BTW...One of the things I am really looking forward to is being able to "webcam chat' with daughter! The laptop we got her came equipped with one so we bought one for our computer too! I am sure this will come in handy when she wants to "see" us or her beloved pet Cockateil and also to show me new clothes and stuff she buys!! {or sort laundry!! LOL!!}</p>
<p>Speaking of laundry, my daughter called last night while I was at book club (where six of us were all discussing our kids at college!) asking about laundry. She's only been there four days and already is doing laundry! In her defense, it is very hot and humid, so I imagine the dirty laundry is piling up. She said she's already bought some shorts at the student store and is planning on a couple of new T-shirts to wear to class.</p>
<p>Thank goodness, she likes her classes so far, especially her drama class. She had biology and sociology this morning, so I'm anxious to hear how those went. I know bio had 400 kids in the class, so I'm sure that's intimidating. </p>
<p>Idmom, I feel for the blisters -- I always seem to get them when I try to wear "nice" shoes. It is a hike from south campus to class -- I wonder how many kids actually use the bus system.
Pam</p>
<p>The first time I was away from home for more than 1 night was the summer after my freshman year when my school took a trip to Hawaii. I didn't have a cell phone and my teacher turned off service to our room phones, so my parents had to leave a message at the front desk saying they wanted me to call. I'm very glad for that. The first day or two, I didn't want to talk to my parents. Just the thought made me homesick. I did call them at least once a day after the first day. I think kids need time to just settle in and get used to things without their parents. Trust me- your kids are probably fine; otherwise they'll call you and let you know.</p>
<p>Guess I have a different type of child. My daughter has been a bit put out that I haven't called her every night (she's called us) --- As she puts it, "I need to tell SOMEONE about everything that's going on." My son, however, is very much like you Tolan -- we were lucky to get three phone calls from him while he was at his six week summer program this year. One was strictly a call asking for information he needed for a class project. :) Every one is different, I guess.</p>