<p>I look in our living room at night with the lights dimmed after everyone is asleep, I see piles of crates bedding and dorm items taking over a good section of our room. Her room is being dismantled a little more each day. Her sisters delight in the prospect of having thier own rooms now! Although I have detected a hint of regret as to the reason why, thier big sister moving out. I see the bed and the empty wardrobe they left for her in the younger ones room to share when she reurns home for the holidays and summers.</p>
<p>Even our cat stalks through the rooms wide eyed and curious at all the changes.</p>
<p>Last minute responsibilities taken care of, banking acct opened, cell phone bill boosted,laptop tune up, dental and medical check ups. Dinner with grandparents, last time for the summer friends gatherings, all is counting down to the drive up and the move in day.</p>
<p>Mixed emotions indeed. Proud, sad, feelin a lil older,excited, nervous. Flashbacks of times spent and how she looked through the years.</p>
<p>Sigh...........2 more days. I will always remember this. It's a good time. a prayer said, a smile and a memory to lock in.</p>
<p>Then I will do it three more times. But your first, you will always remember because all this is new.</p>
<p>Good luck to all students and families on the freshman year and beyond.</p>
<p>Gosh carolyn, give her my number. I'll talk to her. Heck, I'll be talking to the dial a date people if things don't start picking up in the D contact zone.</p>
<p>I'm with you curmudgeon. I'm getting the bum's rush off the phone by mine...if I even manage to get her on the phone. I'm not having a problem letting go...but I would like to convey insurance info re: the scooter repair and get an exam schedule so we can get those flights booked. Am I asking too much??? (read mock exasperation here...I'm really grateful to be so 'undesirable'. :-)</p>
<p>I talk to my oldest, rising college junior, at least once a week, for at least an hour, sometimes for 2. His little brother, who spent 6 weeks the past 2 summers at summer programs, rarely calls. Like Carolyn's son, it's to ask a question - about the laundry, did his AP scores come, etc. Longest conversation was less than a minute. He hates the phone, even if his friends are on the other end. They are very different. </p>
<p>Carolyn, glad she's happy and wants to talk about her new life! And congratulations on successful launches to everyone else.</p>
<p>luliztee - your post choked me up. That was our household exactly almost two weeks ago...right down to the freaked out cat (and the chihuahua who wouldn't get out of the suitcase). All the best to your daughter and to you! We all are creating big memories.</p>
<p>Just jumping in here to join the group hug and to say "many thanks" for the vicarious support i'm getting from this thread. my no. 1 son (of 3) left our house at 4 a.m. to get on a jet plane for college some 8500 miles away. silly me, i still was caught unawares by the sudden sting of tears when i went about my routine at home--popping into his room, opening a cupboard to see the esoteric snacks he likes to buy, doing an errand list and realizing he's not there to take care of some of it...
hey, i highly recommend skype or a similar pc-to-pc method of communicating. Son and husband are on the road still, visiting grandparents in CA. We skype in the am and pm with webcams. Son proudly displayed his new leather jacket bought at a "bargain price" at some outlet mall ("just like" the one I forbade him to get online while he was still at home!!!). For now, we're able to say good morning and sweet dreams to each other, but I know that's because hubby is there (he brought his fully equipped laptop). Who knows if Son will be similarly motivated when he finally lands in his dorm room, though it was a "condition" for our getting him his spanking new mac laptop...</p>
<p>Yes skype rules! Cheap, cheap, cheap (for now) and hubby set up my d's skype to automatically turn on whenever she turns the computer on (you can do that ya know! grin)</p>
<p>Over30, My son seems to be the one having the hardest time adjusting to his sister being gone. He's been alternating between grumpiness, silence, and sighs all week. The other night, he actually got so desparate for company HE asked husband and I to play scrabble with him. Did you feel the earth shake? :) When I mentioned all of this to my daughter, she called him on his cell phone and they talked privately for TWO hours. I must admit it was good to hear him laughing in his room as they talked. He perked up a bit after that, but I suspect he really wasn't expecting to be so at sorts without her.</p>
<p>It's odd, because things have changed with my kids over time. When my son first started college, he wanted nothing to do with me most of of the time - it was impossible to reach him by phone (he didn't have a cell phone at first), and he certainly wasn't giving up much information about his life. He only called if he was upset about something, like class registration, or sick. Now, with the 2nd go round, he seems quite happy to hear from me, and is very informative when I ask him questions ike, "so, how do you like your German class?" (he's not taking the language, but signed up for an upper division German literature class, taught in English - and the answer is that the prof is really great and he's excited about the class).</p>
<p>D., on the other hand, might as well have dropped off the face of the earth. She hasn't started school yet, but flew off to NY on Wednesday and is hanging with friends (I guess). May or may not have met with her roommate, whose family lives close by -- there was talk of them going shopping together before movein day. </p>
<p>I'm thinking part of it may be the location -- I never heard all that much from my son when he was living half an hour away in the city - the calls picked up with the move to Arcata. He says he likes being there, but my impression is that there is a boredom factor there that simply didn't exist in the city. (Ten o'clock and nothing to do, might as well talk to mom.) Plus daughter will live in a dorm double with something like 900 students in her dorm complex -- son is living off campus with his own room in a 2 bedroom apartment and one roommate, another 23 year old who, like him, is pretty quiet and tends to retreat to his room after 10 to read or study.</p>
<p>Just got home from Boston, dropping my D at Tufts. AT the Matriculation Ceremony this is what the president of the U said to the freshmen...</p>
<p>........Going off to college is a big adjustment for each of you, but in some ways it is an even bigger adjustment for your families. You have lots of people to help you through this transition - advisors, deans, counselors, and fellow students. By contrast, your parents are on their own. It is up to you to help them adjust to a life without you. Please keep in touch with them. Let them know how you are doing. It is even OK to ask them how they are doing. They will greatly appreciate email, phone calls, and even the occasional letter............</p>
<p>I was so relieved that he said this and was able to just let my D know that I felt exactly that way. </p>
<p>Now, I wait patiently for the phone call, the email.
I am not worried that she is having adjustment problems. Just the opposite, I know she will be fine. I am worried she will be too fine to call! The depression is setting in.................</p>
<p>My S went to school two weeks ago. He went a week before the Freshman because of his sport. He was lonely the first week and we heard from him quite a bit, he was chatty Cathy as I like to say. Now the Freshman are here and he is busy, busy, busy. Always a social guy, he seems to be relishing dorm life. He did thank me for talking to him about a sub free dorm, he loves the sub free dorm, and is so glad "not to have another thing to worry about (ie drinking). </p>
<p>I called him today to wish him luck as he has his first meet of the season. I asked him to call because we were interested in knowing how he did. He said that he would try to fit us in! Sigh!</p>
<p>The year we dropped my eldest off at college, after coming home, my wife and I were sitting on the deck, just sobbing.
My wife said she was going inside to watch Oprah and try to get her mind off the sadness. Two minutes later she was back bawling because Oprah's show was about mother's missing their daughters at college and making their first phone calls to their daugher's on the show.</p>
<p>Now that we have both children gone, one still in college, it gets easier, and the empty nest is actually fun as we can be a couple again.</p>
<p>One tip to parents sending their first off to college.....
students think that you and your spouse go into "suspended animation" when they are not there. You are frozen in time until they return....they expect everything to be exactly the same as they left it. If you make changes to the house, esp. their room, let them know before they come home, otherwise they will be shocked.</p>
<p>" I had fantasies of moving the zillions of lego pieces and scavanged
computer parts."</p>
<p>That's funny. Son #2's room is filled with odd computer (I guess) parts.</p>
<p>Yesterday I hauled 5 large trash bags of crap out of my #1 son's room to the garbage. I want it to be like a hotel room! Empty when he arrives and EMPTY when he leaves! I'm tired of a big mess up there every time he comes home. He doesn't care about any of the stuff in there anyway (evidently!). Boxed up all his momentos for the basement. </p>
<p>I nearly died of an allergy attack from the dust and then I had this rash on my arm that I swear was like a flesh eating bacteria I picked up in there!!! (It's probably just poison ivy.)</p>
<p>I miss him terribly, but I also am already getting a little tired of him assuming that his messy bedrooom will be there untouched upon his return. This is MY house darn it!!!</p>
<p>I spent much of yesterday in tears, as emergency surgery kept me at home while H flew to Boston with S2. When I spoke to them last night, they sounded as if they had been dragged through the Big Box stories of the western 'burbs. BBB order screwed up, but items available on the shelves. Target looked like the victim of a terrorist attack, but Office Depot went pretty smoothly. Took 40 minutes & 4 magnetic keys to check into hotel. By the end of the call, I decided that I hadn't missed out on a lot of fun, after all.</p>
<p>Move in today went smoothly. H even managed to catch an earlier flight with S's blessing (Yes, you can GO!). H receives call on the way to the airport -- the new check card that we'd been telling S to test wouldn't take his PIN. H gave suggestions and wished him luck. Hope he can figure out a way to access cash going into the holiday weekend.</p>
<p>I will miss the little know-it-all, and look forward to seeing him at parents weekend.</p>
<p>I just came across this thread. Our first born started college this year as well. She was going up early for a special program so due to circumstances (caring for an ailing relative) she flew up. Two days before she left I cried off and on. I was fine when we took her to the airport. However once she got down the runway and was out of sight, I lost it. Another mother was there and you could see the look of understanding on her face. A few moments later I was fine. I look at her pictures over the years frequently and send care packages.</p>
<p>amdgmom-had to laugh at "the little know-it-all". Freshman son flew to college
last week and promptly developed bronchitis with fever, etc. After (for mom and dad) a gut wrenching few days, he is better and just too busy to call home.Have tried emailing him, but no response. Finally, last night sent I him an email writing I need to purchase a new cell phone, does he have any recommendations, got a long email back what to look for and links!! This weekend I may email him for help with my computer...</p>
<p>jasmom,
I'll be over just as soon as I can clear up the flesh eating problem...My husband thinks it's spider bites, which is also a possiblitiy considering the large ones in that room. </p>
<p>It is sure nice to have a full array of silverware and glasses in the kitchen again.</p>