<p>Congrats. You can now join the ranks of no-longer-worried (at least for the moment 
) parents. With the bonus that you know your kid has developed some great coping skills, a realization that she can turn things around and succeed when the path to success looked to be full of pot-holes.</p>
<p>Such wonderful news! Thanks for the update. :)</p>
<p>Hooting and hollering from this part of the internet!</p>
<p>Fantastic news! She just needed a little time, and some supportive parents behind her. Great work, Mom!</p>
<p>ETA â No need to change your name; I have a feeling the worrying never ends. But at least this particular issue is behind you for this particular kid, and that is something to celebrate!</p>
<p>Congratulations to you and your daughter!</p>
<p>One of the problems with hothousing kids in HS and parents being so planful and careful with them is that the first time something doesnât go right might be when the student is off at college, rather then when the parent is there living in the same house and can at least try to judge the severity of the issue, provide reasonable encouragement and help with problem solving IF the child asks for it. No one wants their child to get into a situation where their child gets a B-, let alone a lower grade, in HS because then the GPA is ruined as is the chance (I guess this is the worry) at the high flying school. </p>
<p>The other issue this story points out is that taking an AP or an IB class is not the same thing as doing the core freshman classes at a tippy top university and kids are lulled into thinking they can handle it⊠and then advisors don;t seem to really advise.</p>
<p>Get your facts straight, robyn. While I agree with what you say, it doesnât apply here.</p>
<p>The OP mentioned nothing about IB or AP. The student is not taking core classes, but a non-standard course with challenging upper-division classes. The parents were not worried about grades, they were worried about their Dâs emotional health. This is not a âhot-houseâ student having trouble in the cold cruel world without Mommy. This is a bright student who was thrown off her game for a little while, but who is now back on track â without being prematurely rescued. Every kid should have parents who are this caring and supportive, and yet willing to let their child take a crack at working it out on her own before stepping in. IMO the OP handled it just right.</p>
<p>She is taking advanced classes as a freshman because she did something like AP or IB classes in HS⊠What I am saying is that just because kids take AP and IB classes in HS, they may NOT be prepared for upper level classes at a university. </p>
<p>I never said the mother didnât handle this right. I said that there is a cautionary tale here for students sent off to school who have never before struggledâŠ</p>
<p>My comments were generic. Sorry that was not clear to you.</p>
<p>And of course mom was worried about the grades, because this was upsetting to her daughterâŠ</p>
<p>Robyrm2,
You make some very good points. College courses are indeed much faster paced and you have to be much more independent in college. My daughter tends to let her desire for deeper exploration get the better of her judgement. She had already taken the core courses at University, while she was a High School senior, so she imagined that she was well prepared to advance. What she did not account for, was the fact that she was in a transition period as a freshman, and had not yet perfected time management skills. </p>
<p>Las Ma, Thanks for your kind words. We did our best and it workedâŠthis time. My DH is largely responsible for keeping her courage up once she decided that she was going to tough it out. On Fatherâs Day, hereâs to all those wonderful dads who are such a reliable source of strength and support for children everywhere.</p>
<p>I can really empathize with your daughter. I think itâs an extremely common problem particularly in very academic schools. I think high achievers often have their self esteem, and feeling of identity wrapped up too much in academic success and when they have even slight set backs it can really knock their confidence. I know I was this way when I started university. It sounds as if sheâs become slightly depressed (unable to concentrate etc). I would suggest she sees a councillor at her school and tries to engage in at least one activity outside of her work. Even something simple like doing some mild exercise everyday can be very helpful for concentration and to expand her life slightly outside of her academics.</p>
<p>If itâs any conciliation to you or her I think this is a very common situation to be in. At the time it feels as though everyone else is sailing through and youâre the only one struggling. Almost everyone eventually finds their feet, and sheâs very lucky to have a close family thatâs supporting her.</p>
<p>P.S. I remember a professor at my university once said the best thing to do before arriving at Oxford is to fail your driving test (This is in the UK where you take your driving test at 17 and itâs not unusual to fail a number of times). Just because so many people who come to university have no experience with even minor failures and it can be a rea struggle when it happens for the first time.</p>
<p>Good luck! Iâm sure your daughter will go on to be successful in her degree.</p>
<p>Glad things worked out well for your D, Worriedmom. Sorry I am a little late to the congratulations party.</p>
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<p>D ended up getting a B- in that next hard science class. When she came home last week, she said, âMom, I did all those things we discussed and really put in the time and effort and I still only got a B-.â Well, life doesnât always end like it does in a fairy tale, LOL!</p>
<p>Remember the mantra: Graduate in 4 years!</p>
<p>D is home for the summer, and has not let go of her ambitions yet. However, she is somewhat more cautious, and I see that a lot of books have arrived at home. She seems to be studying ahead a little for a couple of the courses that she thinks are going to be hard. Of course, it is summer, and she is out and about having fun as well (and working at a summer job.)</p>
<p>She ended last semester with the realization of how hard she needs to work to get a reasonable grade at her school and interestingly, a new found confidence that she can do it.
DH and I are a little worried, because she does not seem to want to reconsider her major. We are wondering if even with the best will in the world she has the stamina to put in the sustained effort required.</p>
<p>I wondered whether my D was depressed as well . I am sure there are many wonderful counseling services in place to help .It is ROUGH for many kids that first year . My D got her first B ever ! She was so upset .I told her that a B is a great grade ! That sound minor ,but many kids have a hard time with anything less than As .Plus being away from home ,learning to be self sufficient ,dating ,finding friends - its tough out there ! Having a support system at school is essential for success .Good luck!</p>