<p>We did pretty good in the first phase of college admission process this year. On the scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best), I would say we hit a decent 8.5 - 9. DD got in 5 top 20 universities and one of them offered a very nice financial aid. 99% of the people would have made a decision right then but DD is the other lonely 1%.</p>
<p>She loved another school (A) from the very beginning. It offers a program lead by a very well known professor. This program takes less than 15 students a year and she will be offered a spot among over 140 applicants. She was invited to visit with all expenses paid and they treated her very well. The only issue - it is on the expensive side. </p>
<p>Her other option is a well regard top university (B). The new financial aid policy there gave us a good FA package that contains no loan and an EFC we could actually afford. The differences between two packages is more than $10K a year. </p>
<p>We will be visiting school B later this month. I know school B will do an excellent job attacting admitted students. However, our DD will be just one of many here. Over in school A, she is the top few and they love her there.</p>
<p>One hand is a better name and lower cost; the other hand is also a top school with a well known program but higher cost. DD knows school A well but not much about school B.</p>
<p>We love school B (can you say show off bumper stickers?) and the cost part. But it is her choice and her life. Parents, would you support your child's choice even it is different than yours and cost a lot more $$?</p>
<p>Assume both are excellent academically. If the school my daughter preferred cost $2000 per year more, it would be okay with me. If the school my daughter preferred cost $20,000 per year more, we would really have to think about this.</p>
<p>The program with 15 students in it sounds very nice. A well known professor is a good sign, plus she would be a big fish in a little pond there. However, remember that professors sometimes move from school to school. Is the well known professor a full tenured professor there? That helps - that means he or she will be less likely to move away.</p>
<p>"Parents, would you support your child's choice even it is different than yours and cost a lot more $$?"</p>
<p>Absolutely! I'd even pay a lot more. I don't need to agree with my kid about everything. It sounds like your D has well thought out reasons for preferring school A and it has been her love for awhile, so I'd enthusiastically support school A.</p>
<p>^^ but going to schhol A will mean having 20K loan after 4 years. It will mean she has to work every summer to make her part of contribution. I don't think DD understands how hard it will be to net $3000 a summer</p>
<p>A 20K loan after 4 years? 20K total? Doable -- that's basically a car. </p>
<p>I think it's good for a student to take on some of the costs of college, and your daughter is apparently willing to do so. $20K is not an onerous debt.</p>
<p>You are trying to quantify something that has does not have monetary cost. If you do try to monetize the problem, as you are trying to do, you come against emotions. </p>
<p>As for renown prof, what happens if there was a falling out between the two? Our S has some great tutelage from many very good world class teachers. So is many good instructors better than one great?</p>
<p>I agree that a good problem is still a problem. Far better than a bad problem, that's for sure! You posed a two part question so I'll break down my answer into two parts.</p>
<p>Would I support my child's choice even if it were different from mine? Yes. Unequivocally yes. I would caution him that majors often change and to take that into account. I would want him to look at the school overall and see if he thinks he would be happy if he ended up choosing a different major. I would want him to visit both on his own and spend overnights. I look at this as a two-part decision on the kid's end. They are deciding on both a place to receive the best education and a place which will be the best home for them for the next four or so years. I can't tell what will feel like "home" to him. Only he can do that. I want him to be happy.</p>
<p>Part two is more complicated. Would I support my child's choice if it cost a lot more $$$? The reality of it is I'm not in a position to do that. My son knows it. He's opened all the FA packages first, and immediately said to some, "Well, so much for that." If money were no object there is a place that would a strong contender for his first choice. I think most of us are in the position where some schools would just be too much more for us to feel we could pay it. What constitutes "just too much" is going to vary from family to family.</p>
<p>I admit to having my own struggles in the school choice process. In our case, my son isn't sure he wants to bother visiting one of the schools which fit our financial needs. I'd like him to visit just so he can make an informed choice based on his own observations instead of hearsay. We haven't reached any final decision on that, so are just putting it aside for now. There's always something to think about.</p>
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We will be visiting school B later this month. I know school B will do an excellent job attacting admitted students. However, our DD will be just one of many here. Over in school A, she is the top few and they love her there.</p>
<p>One hand is a better name and lower cost; the other hand is also a top school with a well known program but higher cost. DD knows school A well but not much about school B.
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<p>I think that a clear choice will emerge after visiting both schools with an open mind. From my vantage point, the benefits of being a big fish in a small pond are greatly exaggerated , unless the fish is really big and the pond is **really **small. I seriously doubt that your daughter will find meaningful differences between top 20 universities. In all those schools, a big fish will create his or her own special environment through special programs. This is quite different from someone foregoing an Ivy League education for a smaller (and almost free) Liberal Arts College, at which undergraduate education is paramount. </p>
<p>Not accepting a better financial at a clearly better school should not cost YOU, especially when you have a second child who may not have the same choices in a few years. If the value of the lesser ranked school is so great to your daughter, have *her *borrowing the difference. You could always surprise her in four years by paying off her loans or supporting a one year master's that might have a net cost that makes the undergraduate a cheap proposition.</p>
<p>I will say from having visited school B and having read your posts about your daughter, I do think she sounds like a student who would love it there-- IF she doesn't feel pressured to choose it. Personally, I'd probably just lie low and see what she says after she has been there. I don't know what her prospective major is, though.</p>
<p>Another thing to have your D keep in mind-what if she changes her mind about her major[ many, if not most students do at some point when they are finally in college, and have a chance to "sample" a range of classes and subjects . Sometimes all it takes is one fabulous professor to awaken a student to new interests that then take them on a new path] Will smaller college "A" be able to offer her the same level of quality/ depth in other majors/ programs as big college "B"? [ I still vote for "B", but 20,000 is not a lot of debt at the end of 4 years]</p>
<p>My kids had no trouble earning $3000 during the summer AND both worked 10 hours a week during college as well. They also took the maximum Stafford loan amounts in their names and will have $20,000 in loans at the end.</p>
<p>Dad II...I seem to recall that you said you would pay for your daughter to attend a top school if she were lucky enough to be accepted. Well...it sounds like she has had her dream (and yours) come true. She GOT accepted. This sounds like an opportunity that is a good one. I agree that after the visits things might be clearer.</p>
<p>This is one time when the debt is not so insurmountable that I would say it should negate the choice.</p>
<p>Earning $3000 and netting $3000 is quite different. If she goes to school B, she could have the freedom to pick a job/internship she likes w/o considering the $$. Otherwise, she has to come home and find the best pay job. </p>
<p>I will have not problem paying for school B, a dream school for most of the HS students. It probably not be for the entire 2.4 million of them, but pretty close.</p>
<p>The bottom line is that we love our DD and we love our wallet. It is difficult to pay more for a lower ranked school from our point of view. Let's hope DD will develop a love for School B when we visits.</p>
<p>"It is difficult to pay more for a lower ranked school from our point of view. " Dad, please let go of your continued concern about RANK. It is now is all about FIT, as in where your D would be happiest, not about how proud you would be to have a different college sticker showing in the back window of YOUR car.</p>
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<p>Parents, would you support your child's choice even it is different than yours and cost a lot more $$?>></p>
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<p>Yes we would support this...and in fact we did. DD's choices were the first choice and second choice...very different schools. First choice is costing us three times as much as second choice, but we CAN do it and it IS the better choice for our daughter. And believe me...it's WAY more than a $20,000 loan over four years for DD. BUT truthfully, if we had planned NOT to pay for this school, we would NOT have allowed our kid to even apply there.</p>
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Parents, would you support your child's choice even it is different than yours and cost a lot more $$?
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<p>I am doing so right now. School B for my d could have been paid for fully out of what we had already paid. Personally, I fell in love with the school; it had everything she said she wanted, gave her leadership opportunities, etc. She didn't.</p>
<p>She's at School A, which didn't have a lot of what she said she wanted, and gave her a lot less money. She's happy as a clam, and the belts around here have been seriously tightened.</p>
<p>I would have two concerns about your daughter's decision. If she decides to change majors, does School A offer all the majors offered by School B? In addition, is there any chance that the well-known professor who leads the program she wants at School A might leave or be lured away and if so, where would that leave the program she has chosen?</p>
<p>We had a similar dilemma with our third and last child. She insisted on turning down two higher ranked, well regarded colleges for a specific program at the university she attends now...and also turned down a near full-ride at another school. We let her choose, for a number of reasons including the special program she wanted. Here's what happened: First semester in, she had a professor who has turned out to be a fabulous mentor. She has since changed (broadened) her focus, not her field. With this mentoring she received a summer REU opportunity at UPenn, a Goldwater Honorable Mention, two fellowships that will comfortably support this summer's research. She made a pitch to the department for a specific course that has been approved and every professor in the dept. knows her name. She also received invitations to research from some of these professors. She has received approval to take graduate level courses next year. The college's fellowship office knows her and her academic accomplishments well through the Goldwater application process and are ready to assist in the Rhodes, Marshall, Mitchell or NFS applications if she chooses to apply. She has several professors willing to write strong letters of recommendation for the graduate programs to which she will apply next fall. Would she have had these opportunities at the two higher ranked schools?? We know only that friends attending there have not had such good fortune or opportunity. And the scholarship that got away....wouldn't have happened there either. She found a job in a lab where she could observe the whole research process freshman and sophomore year. Most of the summer REU's pay a stipend in the area of $3000-$4000. I say these things not to brag, but to point out that good opportunities come in many shapes and forms. Was she right in her choice, so far it seems so. Are we glad we didn't lobby for other choices---you bet! Sometimes these accomplished, independent students instinctively know which path to follow...and we need to let them set their own sail. Being at a lower ranked school has certainly not hinderd our D in any way. We are managing the higher tuition bills. We consider it a gift to her and an investment in her future. And yes she will have the full amount of Stafford loans when she finishes...that is her investment in her education and her future. Listen to your daughter and her instincts. She has wonderful choices. Best wishes for a happy decision for all.</p>
<p>vote for school B (better name and lower cost)</p>
<p>Your D is not alone. My S hasn't made decision yet. With 2 top 20 university full-tuition merit schclarships and some top end universities in hand. It is hard to make decision. We prefer to pay a bit more for the top end one, but S hasn't falled in love with the school. I hope he will change after visiting school. He also has the "big fish" thoughts. </p>
<p>Dad II, are there other factors to consider? How about ease and cost of travel between the schools and your home? I may be guessing the schools wrong, but isn't her choice a lot closer to your home, and your choice about as far as she can get? I'm thinking about her getting home for breaks, or being able to visit even if she stays on campus over the summers to work or do research, along with the ability of your family to visit her at school.</p>
<p>I don't think 20K at the end of 4 years is crippling, for a top student graduating from a very good school. Yes, it may limit her options, but life is all about trade-offs.</p>