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Perhaps it would be best to let the student decide provided that she take out loans in her name to cover the cost difference between Stanford and WUStL/Vanderbilt.
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I think sometimes parents can help the student to make the right decision.</p>
<p>I don't think the second choice is either WUSTL or Vanderbilt, but I think DadII has the right--and at this point the obligation to his D's privacy--to not reveal it here.</p>
<p>I know, we are all curious, but...</p>
<p>Dad II, hopefully the visit will help. Good luck.</p>
<p>Thanks midmo. </p>
<p>I can't stop people from guessing. However, for the practical purpose, this question should be applicable for all schools involved. Schools such as Stanford, Duke, WashU and Cornell have all announced new financial policy.</p>
<p>I have learnt a lot from these posts. We will go do the visit and see what happens.</p>
<p>good luck to you and you D. The weather out here[ next to Stanford] is forecasted to be gorgeous! bring sunblock!</p>
<p>We have finished booking for our trip. The transportations and hotel cost of the trip is less than $450 for 3 of us. Now, go guess where are we going.</p>
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I think that if his daughter applied to both schools she obviously wanted to attend both.
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<p>I wouldn't be too sure about that. I've read posts on various forums here that certainly make it sound as if some students are pressured by family members into applying to one school or another. Not saying that happened here, but just because a student put an application in someplace doesn't necessarily mean the student wants to attend that school.</p>
<p>I'm with Dad II on this one, too. I would be hard-pressed to pay more for a small program at a school with less general academic punch if the more financially attractive alternative were Stanford. A big issue for me would be that most (not all) students are likely to change their academic interests.</p>
<p>I have to be honest. I'm finding all this coyness a little odd. Dad II has posted his innermost (and sometimes controversial thoughts) for quite some time and if he wants real advice, he should just tell people the details. Obviously, I believe that School B is Stanford. If School A is Vanderbilt and if it's the guaranted medical admissions program (ENGAGE), people might feel differently than if School A is OSU.</p>
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School A will cost more than our estimated EFC. We actually had a "how much we could afford" for school A talk way before this started. DD knows the # and the gap between aid and our # is huge.
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In my family, when the financial aid awards came in, "huge gap"= "NO". For each of my kids, that meant turning down what they thought was their first choice college in favor of very respectable second choices. My d. wanted the opportunity to try to appeal financial aid at her top choice, and I paid for her to fly out over her spring break so she could see the campus and also meet with the financial aid people; fortunately her "School B" was located in the same city, so the air fare was well spent. (Like DAD II, my daughter's "School B" is, in my mind, clearly superior and more prestigious than her "School A".... but also like DAD II, it was all about the money. If the cost of School A had been within my range, it would have remained in the running). </p>
<p>I think that if there is a gap, unless Dad II is somehow convinced that School A in fact has a program that merits the extra expense.... there really is no decision to be made. (That being said, I think both my kids felt better about the whole thing because I let them each feel they were making their own decision -- that's just a matter of using psychology. I did not scream and rant and shout, "absolutely not!" Instead I resorted to more low-key, guilt-inducing strategy -- letting them know what a hardship it would be but also telling them that the choice was up to them. I have two really good kids. I knew darn well that they would both consider my needs in their choices without my having to hit them over the head with it.)</p>
<p>The point is: if the parent is paying, then where there is a significant financial differential and the more expensive school is outside the parent's pre-established budget... I don't think it is the child's choice any longer, especially when there is a younger sibling in the picture. </p>
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Even as today, I am letting DD making this decision. I am just picking the brain power on the forum so we could consider all the factors.
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I would suggest that you be as open and direct as possible with your daughter about the finances. Don't worry about prestige or strength of academic program -- it doesn't matter of School A is offering the best program on the planet if you can't really afford it. Again -- don't push or argue. Let her visit, let her explore. I know that my daughter's visit to her "School A" after seeing the weak financial aid package was in part needed to allow her the emotional opportunity to find fault with the school and thus feel more comfortable turning it down. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that admission to a "special" program with limited enrollment is part of a college's enrollment management strategy -- the way they try to entice admitted students to select them over other colleges -- but money talks a lot louder. There will be many more opportunities for your daughter no matter what college she chooses; the worst case scenario would be to accept School A based on the perceived value of the special program and then get there to find that the program is not all that its cracked up to be. Then what has she given up?? </p>
<p>My comments would not be the same if it was just a matter of comparing costs of two schools if both were within range of your EFC (or whatever you determine to be your bottom line in terms of affordability -- for many families, even the EFC is not a realistic number). It's one thing to let your child choose between two affordable options, and another thing entirely to let your emotions and your love for your child blind you limits of your own finances.</p>
<p>midatlmom: Hmm...I've been assuming all along this was OSU v. Stanford. If it's not, that might make a difference.</p>
<p>And I guess one of the reasons I assumed that it was not OSU is because Dad II made this statement in one of his first posts:</p>
<p>"One hand is a better name and lower cost; the other hand is also a top school with a well known program but higher cost. DD knows school A well but not much about school B."</p>
<p>Although it's a fine school, I don't think I would describe OSU as a "top school". But,as I said before, I think that any good advice depends on the actual schools involved.</p>
<p>Also, I believe Dad II's D posted earlier about OSU vs Stanford.....</p>
<p>Here's my guess: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1059692659-post60.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1059692659-post60.html</a></p>
<p>Good guess, audiophile-- if that is the d's primary interest, then California would be a good place to be, no matter what the program offered at the school. Perhaps Dad II should make sure that d. visits Woods</a> Institute for the Environment when they come out west -- and that she checks out this web page as part of her decision-making: Stanford</a> Environmental Portal </p>
<p>Being part of a select few into a smaller program might not always be the best choice -- it may be that a larger program offers more resources -- though I have to add that I personally don't know how the programs actually compare in terms of size or resources. Just that in the long run being part of a select group of 15 or 20 students might not make much of a difference. </p>
<p>I think one of the biggest mistakes young people can make in college choice is focusing too much on what their experience will be their first semester or year, rather than looking at the lay of the land for all four years they will be there. It may be that school A offers a special program for selected freshman, and perhaps (hypothetically), the students at school B can't get into similar courses until they are well on their way to pursuing their majors in their junior year. So at age 18 school A seems far more attractive... but it may very well be that school B offers better opportunities overall for those who are willing to wait a little longer.</p>
<p>Duke?! If Dad II is as willing to pay as he originally suggested he would be for a prestigious school ... well, I know I consider Duke to fit that bill!!</p>
<p>Don't get me wrong. I understand wanting to take the better financial package. If the money is an issue, then I don't think Dad's D can go wrong with School B. However, if she is as passionate about this program as her snowy adventures suggest, School A might be a fantastic place for this young woman. There are certainly other options at this school if the program doesn't fit after awhile, and the school's reputation is excellent. I also think there would probably be options for decent-paying internships through this school (since Dad brought that up earlier). And I have to add that I'd be proud to have that sticker in my back window!</p>
<p>We could all be wrong about what A is & what B is, though. And of course, only Dad & D can make this decision. But it sure is more fun to solve others' problems than to have to deal with my own ... and I know that it's easier to spend Dad's money than it is my own! :)</p>
<p>Calmom--You've offered some good ideas about Stanford environmental studies and I think there is a very good chance that Dad II's daughter will fall in love with the school and the problem will be solved. </p>
<p>However, the Duke environmental science and policy program is extremely well known and not very small at all. It also offers the opportunity for undergraduates to take courses at Duke's Nicolas School of the Environment, also very well-known. In addition, Duke has a marine biology lab and a forest that students can use.</p>
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That's why I posted as I did -- too often on CC the "advice" involves spending other people's money. Since Dad II said there is a big gap between EFC and the cost of "School A"..... well, I think that "advice" that does not take finances into account can cause more conflict and consternation, and a dose of reality is important.</p>
<p>There are very few of us who would advocate buying a kid a car or even a restaurant meal that was beyond the family's budget or means simply because the kid had their heart set on it .... yet somehow with the college choice reason and logic seems to fly out the window. I can understand the dilemma faced by a family where the only options are too costly, which is probably the case with many students who do not qualify for admission at well-endowed schools with generous financial aid policies. I suppose in that case sacrifices need to be made. </p>
<p>But when a kid is faced with a number of good choices, some of which are affordable and others which are not.... then I don't think the parent needs to feel guilty about saying no to those which are too costly.</p>
<p>Personally, I feel that sometimes it is worthwhile to pay attention to the hand of fate. When one school offers $$$$$ and the other offers zilch... there is a message in there somewhere, at least for those who are wise enough to look for it. </p>
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<p>On the other hand, I want to note one thing: If indeed School A is Duke, then I certainly would encourage a re-evaluation of their financial aid offer accompanied by a copy of Stanford's offer. Perhaps the situation might change. (Duke claims that it will not "negotiate" or "match" offers from other schools.... so the key words are "re-evaluation", along with the polite suggestion that perhaps there has been some error in calculating financial need).</p>
<p>Clearly this is a Dad II family decision. I just hope Dad II daughter wasn't led down a primrose path regarding her college choices and finances. She had a number of good acceptances...and financial aid offers (from reading other posts). I hope it all works out for the daughter. ALL of the schools to which the daughter got accepted are great (Duke, OSU, Vandy, WashU, OSU, Stanford...taken from posts elsewhere). And yes...even the instate option of OSU is a wonderful choice.</p>
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I just hope Dad II daughter wasn't led down a primrose path regarding her college choices and finances.
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Given how often Dad II posted here fretting about his financial worries, I doubt that his daughter has been led down any primrose paths.... my impression is that its more likely that Dad II has been complaining about the possible expense every step of the way. Also, given the way Dad II described some of the little spats he has had with his daughter along the way over studying for exams or preparing essays.... my guess is that the lines of communication are wide open in that family, even if it gets a little testy sometimes. I can just imagine Dad II starting a conversation on just about any topic and his daughter rolling her eyes and groaning, "Daaaad! You've told me this about a million times already!" ;)</p>