<p>Just a few comments: At least at my daughter’s school liquor is forbidden in sororities houses. (notice that I said IN sorority houses) If you’re drinking do it elsewhere. When I was in college I really was a cheap drunk. I never wanted to BE drunk or tipsy (control issue) so I, with several of my sisters developed a system. When given a drink sip…and find the nearest potted plant or open window…dispose of liquid. Worked all four years. Plants thrived too.</p>
<p>As for the clothes that you’ll never wear: My youngest, during her vintage stage (DO NOT GO THERE…I AM NOT OLD OR VINTAGE…just maturing…quickly) was shopping in one of my closets. (No we don’t wear the same size, just did when I was young.) She found Hawaiian t shirts from when I was a kid and went to Hawaii a lot, and my sorority t shirts (with my name on them). Asked if she could wear them. And she did, proudly, until they totally fell apart.</p>
<p>(And for those who say that she can’t wear my letters because she wasn’t in my sorority…she wore them in high school where there were no sororities, much less MY sorority. Ergo: legal.)</p>
<p>My older daughter had a disasterous recruitment. She skipped the first night (with Panhellenic’s knowledge) to go to a very importent class. Although this was supposed to be ok she was summarily dropped from all those houses. In the end she had her heart set on a particular house (NOT a top tier house). Night before Preference she was greeted by the President and Rush Chair (this is a good sign) and given to one of the sisters. The sister, inadvertenly, came out of the closet. Daughter knew that she was finished because the sister told her that she was/is a lesbian. I am not a fool as to think that everyone has wonderful experiences during recruitment. My daughter made a CHOICE (which I supported) to attend this 4 hour class. And she made a choice not to take her remaining house(s). I am no Pollyanna. </p>
<p>My point is that sorority life may not be for everyone. Stuff happens, in recruitment and in life. But don’t disparage something unless you’ve been there. Sororities are different within the campus and within different universities. And to disparage a system which has survived since the 1880s (I believe), where women supported each other and raised money for charities is nonsense.</p>
<p>From observing my D’s experience without a house, and mine with a house, they are quite different animals. My sorority was largely a 24/7 living experience that developed into lifelong friendships via often mundane daily routines. D’s experience is much more focussed on leadership opportunities, where friendships are cemented via cooperative problem solving and event planning.</p>
<p>Wow. So we must conclude that at ellebud’s daughter’s school, sororities don’t want women who value going to class over attending sorority functions, and they also don’t want out lesbians. Good to know. Just guessing, but I imagine Pizzagirl’s sorority at Northwestern wouldn’t have the same objection to young women who think it’s important to go to class.</p>
<p>No, what you can conclude is this: the sister was uncomfortable with who she was and didn’t want anyone to know. And this particular girl was so distrustful of everyone that this was her reaction. College is supposed to be a growth experience and the sister wasn’t growing. And as for what happened with the class: They have moved recruitment so that most girls are not affected.</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang - why are you so negative and so judgmental about sorority life? What is it that just bugs the crap out of you? You don’t just say you don’t like it, you make snide remarks about it. People on this thread who have had positive experience with sorority have very openly said it’s not for everyone AND just because it’s not for you it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. I am just curious. There are a lot of things I don’t do, but just because I don’t do it I don’t necessary feel people are scums for doing it.</p>
<p>I just read another thread by a dad that is looking for help because his son has had 11 interviews and has gotten back 7 rejections and 4 no words…He has been told that he is very smart, etc but comes across overly analytical. My point being that this is a very capable young man who is struggling with the interview process. </p>
<p>I could not help but think of this thread and the value of sorority rush. The interview process during rush can be very stressful. I would think that going through that process and having to answer questions in a stressful situation could only prepare one for job interviews in the future. This is a valuable lesson, no matter what the outcome. Hopefully we learn from experiences, good and bad.</p>
<p>In response to “being hit with wooden paddles”, I would hope this never happens in a NPC sorority. If it does, it should be reported immediately. That chapter would be in huge trouble.</p>
<p>RE: this “top ten” thing. Every chapter is different and every campus is different. This “ranking” is very arbitrary (and my sorority is one of those 10).</p>
<p>Agree that the list is meaningless as there is a lot of difference from campus to campus. I would hope that national reputation would not factor in to a girl’s decision - and my sorority is on the list too.</p>
<p>Interestingly every sorority at my school (there are only 3) is on that list, but it wasn’t always this way. When I was a freshman/sophomore there was a sorority that was smaller and lesser known and the girls in it decided that because of the negative way they were being treated by their national (superiors, ladies in charge of the organization far far away, you know) they were going to drop that sorority and switch to a different, more nationally recognized (and I think better ran) sorority. I’m not sure exactly what the process was but they all had to go through pledging again to learn about the traditions of the new sorority, they kept all the same people but it was like a transformation they all went through together, to become sisters of one of the top 10 sororities instead of their previous smaller one. I think the reason why those top 10 ended up on that list was because of the quality of the organization (like how it was ran) and how they treat their chapters. At least I know thats why one of the ones on my campus switched.</p>
<p>So if sorority interviews (or, I suppose, in his case fraternity interviews) would have taught him to interview better, why didn’t the first ten job interviews teach this kid to be better in the eleventh? My view is that people who choose to be in fraternities and sororities are the same kind of gregarious, extroverted people who would naturally be good at interviews, and overly analytic people are the more introverted types who would be more likely to be bad at interviews, whether they had had previous experience or not. </p>
<p>Do the rest of you really think that ten or fifteen or whatever fraternity interviews would have made this nerdy kid into a good interviewer? The nerds I know-- and I know A LOT of nerds, I say this with love of nerds in my heart and wear my own nerd badge with pride-- are much more resistant to improvement than that.</p>
<p>fummer: I apologize for laughing at you. It was unkind and unhelpful and just plain wrong. I hope you don’t think I was actually criticizing southern sororities in particular :eek: since I pointed out about a million pages ago - I was in a southern group. Sometimes when sorority women want to defend greek life, they say their groups encourage scholarship, service, leadership and sisterhood. I have a constant habit myself of putting foot-in-mouth. Good luck with your recruitment!</p>
<p>In answer to your question Cardinal Fang…I do not think that the initial rush process is going to teach anyone to be a good interviewer ,although it certainly couldn’t hurt. What I do think is that the experiences gained throughout the 4-5 years in the sorority/fraternity will do just that. Remember that once you are in, the next year you get to do the interviewing (another great life skill to be learned) and in turn will answer more questions about your organization etc. These are all interpersonal skills that are not necessarily inherent but can be learned with lots of practice. I do believe that the “king of the nerds” can learn to be a good interviewer/interviewee with practice…and that can happen if he/she has to do the practicing over and over, year after year.</p>
<p>I think that the “Top Ten” means how many alums there are out there and/or the strength of the alumni network. One or two of the “powerhouses” do not exist in California. And, as you all know we rule. (jk…). One of the sororities mentioned is at the supposed “bottom” at my daughter’s school, but a top house on other campuses. </p>
<p>I cannot stress enough how recruitment is such an individual persuit. This is a process that works more often than not. My daughter, the younger one who didn’t have a class conflict, had a near perfect recruitment. She went between three houses, one of whom did not invite her back on Pref. Guess what? She now knows that they are amazing during Recruitment and would NOT have been good for her in life. The house that she is in is a match. </p>
<p>But as for weaker houses, if pnms actually considered joining them as opposed to dropping out because the house “wasn’t good enough for them” the whole system would benefit. But, since I quote Groucho Marx (I know, most of you are saying WHO?–any relation to Karl?) “any club that would have me as a member I don’t want to join”, weaker tends to stay weaker. And THAT is unfortunate because a lot of young women are missing out on the opportunity for leadership, friendship and growth.</p>
<p>^^^So true Ellebud…don’t you just wish that you could shake them all and tell them just that If all of the girls that dropped out because they didn’t get the house they thought they wanted would just join the struggling house…WOW…what a group they would probably have!!</p>
<p>I am an introvert. I’ve got an inner nerd. I don’t like crowds. I’m most comfortable in small groups. I am most decidedly not the rah-rah type. There are shy girls and outgoing girls – girls who want to be in the spotlight and girls who would rather die than be in the spotlight. It takes all types, as I keep repeating. You keep wanting to reduce it to a certain type of girl, despite repeatedly being told otherwise.</p>
<p>Let’s repeat one more time – different colleges have different norms / values / systems. Where I was, rush and other functions were designed AROUND academics and class obligations, not the other way around. No one would have put up with anything that interfered with the ability to take classes and do well in them. Just a non-starter.</p>
<p>The whole Greek thing reminds me of “high society”. Important to those in it but way below the rest of the people’s radar. If being in a silly club appeals to one then they bother with it. No, not jealous, just not comprehending why people waste their time with it. There will always be people who live in those worlds. I’d rather my child explored more academically, with the freedom to do as s/he wished without incurring those obligations. Nothing one can’t do outside of being Greek that only Greeks can do that is worth doing. Let the insecure have their security of belonging at a price most don’t wish to pay- financially, emotionally or timewise. The rest of the college students have lifelong friends, socialize, are active in charities, have roommates, network, etc without the need to have XYZ membership. It seems better to have several circles of friends to meet different interests than to devote so much time and energy into fitting into one group.</p>
Good luck with your recruitment!</p>
If all of the girls that dropped out because they didn’t get the house they thought they wanted would just join the struggling house…WOW…what a group they would probably have!!</p>