<p>“But I think it results from the summer camp mentality of community; alot of the girls miss that when they are done…”</p>
<p>So interesting… because my D is all about her friends from her summer sleepaway camp (boys and girls). I didn’t see this as a link to her interest in Greek Life.</p>
<p>I think the NU grads are here because perhaps NU is not the typical Greek school (which I think of as the large public university) – ok , so am I being judgemental now?? Sorry!!!</p>
<p>My D didn’t even apply to NU…</p>
<p>Here’s a disadvantage of joining a sorority (going back to original question) - all the sweatshirts, sweatpants, t-shirts with Greek letters on it that you have that you will NEVER wear once you leave campus!</p>
<p>Well more than half of my chapter (very large, well known national) was Catholic…and this was in the 70’s. Reason: it reflected the religious makeup of the school. I never recall any girl’s religion, parents or economic status brought up in membership selection. As I posted on another thread, I was a transfer from a cc and came from a very small town and I got a bid.
And I had pledge sisters who were also cc transfers. No big deal.</p>
<p>Our chapter never had a “list” of girls we wanted to bid. I have never even heard of this.</p>
<p>I can absolutely tell you at NU, and I know LINYMOM will agree with me, that no one in the Greek system particularly cared if someone else was Greek or not. Any more than the people in the sailing club “cared” that other people weren’t in the sailing club. </p>
<p>It is rather funny that LINYMOM and I have reconnected on FB and here. And we have each reconnected with others, too. </p>
<p>And to clarify, we were not BFF’s. She’s way older than me (ha ha) and we didn’t necessarily hang around together, though we do have mutual friends.</p>
<p>OK, here’s an advantage of the Greek system. I, sadly, have no connections anywhere. But if I had a connection or an “in” with any college that LINYMOM’s D was interested in, I would use that connection on her D’s behalf in a heartbeat. She would just have to say the word. And I feel confident she would do the same for me.</p>
<p>You know how so many people desire to go to elite colleges because they believe in the benefits of social networking – that they’ll get to rub elbows with the mucky-mucks who make decisions at places of importance? Greek life is another way to form the bonds of social networking.</p>
<p>We just visited a college far from our home for our D. I met up with another sorority sister who lives in that town whom I hadn’t seen in 20 years and we enjoyed reconnecting. I <em>guarantee</em> you that if my D went to that college, T would look in on her, offer her help, be a resource if there was an emergency situation, etc. </p>
<p>It’s just friendship – just more structured. I can’t help that certain parts of the country have that gaggy, what-does-your-daddy-do and do-you-belong-to-the-right-church-nonsense, but that has nothing to do with the Greek system.</p>
<p>“If your girls went away to summer camp, mark my words they will want to explore Greek Life…they may not end up joining, but the “hype” is that it is very much like summer camp”</p>
<p>Not my D, and she is a sophomore in college in the sort-of-south, and plans to return to her camp as she has for about 12 years, her 5th or so as a counselor this summer.</p>
<p>"all the sweatshirts, sweatpants, t-shirts with Greek letters on it that you have that you will NEVER wear once you leave campus! "</p>
<p>Again, maybe different in the Black community, but I am more into my sorority now, at age 50, than ever. And I could NEVER afford all that stuff in college!</p>
<p>Really? So you’re saying that less than one percent of young women who rush don’t get a bid? That if a young woman rushes, she is almost certain to get a bid? I guess that’s true unless she’s fat:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Or disabled:
</p>
<p>You say that doesn’t happen now? How many fat girls are in your daughters’ sororities, posters? How many disabled girls? How many unattractive girls? As far as looks are concerned, do you think your daughter’s sorority sisters are about as attractive as the average young woman on campus, or are they considerably prettier?</p>
<p>^One of the leaders in our sorority had relatively severe cerebral palsy. One of my line sisters refused to wear pants because of her religious beliefs. she REALLY stood out because of this in 1978. Judgment call on the “pretty” thing, but I’m pretty sure there was no consensus. </p>
<p>A VERY long time ago there WAS the “paper bag” test.</p>
<p>Thanks for this thread. Two of my colleges(Bama and Union) have super large Greek populations and I’ve been seriously debating whether or not I will pledge if I attend either</p>
<p>Hello. Another Northwestern sorority girl here. From the late '60s, so I know that times were very different.</p>
<p>In my day, rush occurred during the first or second week on campus. We went to 18 houses. I remember being surprised to have been cut from one particular house because I had had what I thought was a wonderful conversation with someone. Someone told me, “Oh, Such-and-Such sorority?? They never invite Jewish girls back!”</p>
<p>Aha. The implication was that I certainly shouldn’t take it seriously, because it had nothing to do with me as a person.</p>
<p>There were two 100% Jewish sororities – one of them for the cool Jews and one of them for the kind of dorky Jews – but I wound up joining one of the few houses that seemed to be blind to religion. During my sophomore year, my house refused to admit one of my roommates, who was brilliant and funny. Because she was fat.</p>
<p>I finally deactivated Fall of my junior year. I got nothing out of my membership – in fact, I was downright embarrassed to be associated with the house. I became persona non grata and, to this day, am in touch with no one from the sorority or even from the school.</p>
<p>When I went through recruitment, in the 70s, I joined a house. It was the only house available to me because I am Jewish. Did I have a good experience in recruitment? No, because AT THAT TIME those were the rules and I didn’t know that was the case. Did I have a good experience in my sorority? Yes. </p>
<p>When my youngest went through, at the same university this year her experience was very different but the same. How was it different? She had the ability to join the “top house” in a very competitive school. There are Jews, Christians, African Americans, Asian, Hispanic and international students in the sorority. Did they “know” the girls that they “wanted” ahead of time? Probably. Did they leave room for the unexpected? Probably. Were legacies given preference? Probably. I admitted she did the picking because Daughter always had more choices than parties–something that you have to go through recruitment to understand. Is she happy with her choice? Yes. And therein lies the same result.</p>
<p>All recruitments are different: whether they are more or less competitive, size and make up of the sorority and university, and the part of the country.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’m sure most of the sororities there were open and diverse. But I remember a couple that were considered to be the epitome of snobbery. They were reputed to choose women based on looks and pedigree, and yes, they excluded Jews. But I knew a girl who joined one of these, much to my surprise. We were great friends in Middle School before she moved to a different state, and we met up again at college. I can’t imagine that she subscribed to the prejudices attributed to this house, but if they were true, she should of been made aware of them before joining so that she could decide if she wanted to be associated with them.</p>
<p>I also agree that Greek life was not overly dominant at NU, and I had plenty of friends that were Greek and plenty that weren’t. Just like the choice of college, it’s about individual fit.</p>
<p>IMO there are both pros and cons to the Greek life…just as there are pros and cons to small schools vs big schools and apartment life versus dorm life. And since there are pros and cons I really think it is something that you can let your daughter decide on on her own. Assuming your daughter is at a college that is a good fit for her, if she joins a house, more than likely she will love it and have a great experience. But if she doesn’t, she will have a different, but still great experience. I think 95% of women that were in a sorority would say it was a positive experience. But most women that do not join one also have their own wonderful experiences at college. IMO recruitment, is by far, the biggest con of the Greek system and any young woman going through rush should understand that things may not work out the way they want them to. (But life is pretty much that way, isn’t it?)</p>
<p>My daughter is a Freshman at a Big 10 school. She was leaning toward joining a sorority so I spent the fall just trying to help her think things through… Why did she think she would like a sorority? How would she feel if she wasn’t asked to join a house? Did she mind that it might close her off from other enriching activities on campus? Did she think she could balance the time commitment with her academics? Did she understand that the recruitment process can be really tough? When she looked around the campus did she like the image portrayed by the women in sororities? </p>
<p>In the end she did decide to join a house and I was fine with that. I also would have been fine with it if she had passed. I really didn’t try and sway her either way because, as I said, I think there are pros and cons apartment and dorm life, as well as the Greek life.</p>
<p>One had a notable speech impediment (sounded like her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth, I don’t know what the specific disability was). I don’t recall anyone who had a physical disability at the school (don’t recall anyone in a wheelchair) - but this was before accommodations were as they are today.<br>
Yes, there were certainly girls who were heavier than others and who weren’t as good looking as LINYMOM and I are :-). Really, it was just a cross section of girls. Some shy, some outgoing. Some gorgeous, some plain. Theater majors and engineers. All parts of the country. All ethnic backgrounds, races, and all socioeconomic backgrounds. Some of you are envisioning Legally Blonde come to life.</p>
<p>In my day it was more about good grooming that beauty per se. Just about anyone can look attractive if they put some time into their appearance. I don’t remember any disabled students at my college back then, and I honestly can’t think of many fat girls either. Obesity is a more modern phenomenon.</p>
<p>I think that’s the way it is for many sororities today. There were definitely some girls in D’s sorority that did not fit the beauty queen model, but were very attentive to everyday grooming.</p>
<p>One issue I’ve seen coming up in all of this is, the timing of rush at a school. D1’s school did not allow girls to rush until second semester of freshman year, while D2’s school does not allow it until sophomore year. I think this gives girls a chance to get established on campus without the influence of a more restrictive Greek lifestyle where your schedule is more contingent on your obligations at the house.</p>
<p>My two daughters are members of (different) sororities at their colleges. Sorority Life has its pluses and minuses but overall it has been wonderful for both of them. The biggest problem that one daughter had is with “all the drama” that is involved with spending so much time with a large group of girls. Yes, she has made some wonderful lifelong friends but she definitely could do without all the drama. </p>
<p>My other daughter complained about time restraints during her new member period. She was required to attend many events, parties, community service functions etc and she had a very hard major. She would worry about being able to get it all done and complain that most of her sisters seemed to be in easier majors with less needed study time (like education or English) as opposed to her science major. They weren’t in her “weed out” chemistry classes or labs and they wouldn’t/couldn’t take no for an answer when she told them that she really had to stay in and study on the weekend. One year later, she has learned to juggle it all better and she is able to say no some of the time to sorority activities. She still has been on the sorority dance team and the sorority intramural soccer team but has learned to juggle this with studying for her physics exams. Sorority life makes a big school seem much smaller and more personal. It gives you an opportunity to really get to know a group of great girls and gives you a focus or a launching pad to branch out from.</p>
<p>Two things have struck me in recent posts. Networking- the NU sorority sisters didn’t have any connections until now since they were different years. The “attention to grooming”- so it’s still a superficial lifestyle. I like the poster who found out she wasn’t the sorority type when she didn’t waste time on dolling up for the second round party. We felt sorry for the girls (women, it was the women’s lib era) in the dorm the spring of freshman year who felt they needed the security of joining a sorority and bothered with the spring rush- the Greek presence at my alma mater only matters to the small minority who are in it.</p>
<p>While I try to look presentable (and v. nice when I go on interviews, to dances, to teach, etc.), I definitely am not “superficial” in terms of appearance. Everyone in my family is adverse to shopping, and right now, I am wearing a sweatshirt that is at least 10 years old. But it appears you’ve decided all sorority members are definitively shallow, insecure, and lazy, and refuse to re-evaluate that idea, so…</p>
<p>^^ This made me LOL. My friends and I were very much into fashion (think '80s…) Norma Kamali, Comme des Garcons, Benetton…and we felt no affinity with the Topsider and LaCoste look that the sorority girls we knew were into. I feel no animosity to the Greek system, I just knew right away that it wasn’t for me. I was just too GDI (G-- Da-- Independent!) :)</p>