The people who follow you on social media should be your friends and friends are happy for you and your child’s achievements. A true friend would want to here about the amazing thing that has happened to your family. A fake friend would get upset and jealous over something nice happening to your family.
I did a college admissions wrap-up once D chose a college (late April).
My daughter is a barely-B student. She didn’t apply to any competitive schools. Each acceptance that comes in is a victory for her.
So, Yes, I’m planning to post each and every one on Facebook. The people who have access to my account are my siblings, a few of my cousins, and 2 or 3 neighbors-- all people who would be cheering her on as I am.
Her successes don’t detract from anyone else’s lack of success. I’m happy for her and I want to share my joy.
I did for D’s EA acceptance. She is only applying to 3 schools. My FB account is mostly old friends and family who live far away and it is our way of sharing what our kids are up to. Won’t post again until she decides where she will attend.
I am not on social media in any form, but even if I was, I doubt I would do it. Our town paper publishes a list of graduates and where they are attending each spring. My D09 insisted that I sign a waiver form so she was not listed. She was proud of her choice, but felt that it was not the business of every one in town. My next two sons asked for the same. Only S17 chose to be included in the list. Oldest son was (he went to a CC, but he is on the spectrum) because I didn’t know you could opt out then.
In S17’s grade, there was a tradition of your friends baking a cake and icing it in school colors (or the logo, if you had any artistic friends) and then posting a photo of you, your friends and your cake. I believe this was only for final decisions. S17 declined a cake and since I am not on SM myself, I have no idea what, if anything, was posted about his choice.
I know that lots of parents in my town did post because my friends would tell me who was going where.
One of my daughters applied to 17 colleges. ( She had a ton of free apps.) No kidding. She was “weighing” her options. She is also a twin. I could not imagine boring my friends with every little acceptance. I only did drop off. My close friends and family already knew… but I do enjoy seeing who got into where.
Like @bjkmom, I have a low B stats kid and going into the process with him I felt a little panicky about where he might get in so he applied very early to a school that asked him to apply (he had expressed interest early on) and he ended up with his first acceptance by the end of July.
When I shared the exciting news with a good friend whose son shares similar stats she shunned me for weeks until I confronted her and she confessed she was being petty and jealous over that fact that my son had an acceptance and hers did not. This was her first child and she had no concept that this was very, very early in the game for anybody.
On the opposite end, I have a good friend whose son is very high stats and has applied to very prestigious schools. When I asked her if he was applying to a regional state school (which is very popular in our area), she proceeded to tell me that there was no way he would apply there as every stupid, moronic, lazy person from our school had gotten in the year before and he was way to good for that. And the school was a reach for my son!
Based on those 2 experiences alone, I have curbed most college talk with friends and rely on my cc ‘friends’ instead.
DD told everyone when she applied ED for UPenn. I told lots of friends, and so it just made it easier to tell everyone over social media that she’d been deferred. Sure, we were all disappointed, but we felt no shame in it. Then when she did get accepted RD, DH and I shared it - along with a note that she’d pretty much decided to go to big state school for the $$ instead.
I posted just the final decision of where to go on Facebook…so seen by a select number of friends
Some people keep a low profile on social media and others post every detail, so I really feel it depends on your personal “sharing” habits. I will never understand why so many consider academic accomplishments taboo and bragging though when every single move an athlete makes is splashed across the newspaper/school announcements/social media. Athletic signings are a spectacle, but if your kid gets into Harvard without that hook and a parent mentions it it’s bragging?
Boasting and bragging is part of current culture but Its not nice . It makes other students who are not in yet to feel really bad. I wish people could be kinder and empathetic. Because you never know next time it could be your child in the unpleasant situation.
Friends of friends can see your posts of if someone “likes” it, depending on how your profile is set up. And people tell each other. Honestly – it is bragging to talk about acceptances and scholarships that your kid may never even use. Plus, you really don’t want others weighing in on their decision (“You got into <big name=”" sports="" school,="" state="" flagship,="" ivy="" --="" insert="" here=""> and aren’t going? You are crazy!). But it isn’t their pocketbook or fit that needs to be considered. You are a lot better off keeping it to yourself. And people you think are friends will start second guessing why your kid got in and theirs didn’t.<big name="" sports="" school,="" state="" flagship,="" ivy="" --="" insert="" here="">
Plus, the pressure on kids who didn’t get in anywhere early is intense. Honestly, almost every kid is secretly afraid they won’t be getting in anyplace. It pours gas on their anxiety to post about admissions as they come along.
That is the issue with my family. I can’t talk about my Ds academic achievements even though has not had an easy path. Yet my siblings post a ton of sports related stuff…so and so pitched a no hitter, so and so made the A team etc. It seems that any mention is fine as long as it is not academic. Keep in mind this is my large family and my D was the first of her generation and long before the rest of the kids came along. This is part of the reason I don’t share this stuff anymore. My D is not on much social media. She has a small nice group of friends similar in academic profile. They share the joys and sorrows of this process. Loved that they rallied around a friend on the night of the winter concert, she had been rejected from her dream school. The love and kindness was flowing from the friend group.
My older child is a senior at an Ivy. We posted some of her acceptances but not all. I’m very proud of my kids’ accomplishments and I know that they work very hard to achieve them.
I love to hear where kids will be attending, both the B- students and the 4.0+ students. Every kid should be made to feel proud IF they worked their hardest for it. For those who didn’t, too bad if your feelings are hurt. I’m not in the everyone gets a trophy circle, in fact I think its one of the worst things we are doing to our kids.
FWIW, I have one child who refused to do homework in high school, felt that average was good enough for him, never showed any interest in college (boy, I did try though) and I’m very proud of the man he is now. He has worked very hard to get where he is. Its all about the effort. He apparently knew something about himself that I was doubting during his teen years. My D is the 4.0, never less than an A student but also worked very hard to get where she is. If anything, I’m offended when people assume it must be easy for her.
Lets teach our children to work hard, be kind, and stand proud of their accomplishments…doesn’t matter if its community college, IVY, or the military. Lets also teach them to rejoice in others’ accomplishments. I don’t think announcing where your child is attending or what scholarships they get is bragging. I wouldn’t be going on and on about it but I wouldn’t hide it just because Little Johnny’s feelings might get hurt. Life isn’t fair but sometimes you get what you deserve, both good and bad.
Yes but I am not friends with other parents at the school in general.
I love hearing and sharing good news. I even like it when my friends without children post good news about their pets. Life is hard. Find time to celebrate privately and publicly and with those who matter to you.
Nope. My current high school senior communicates with his friends and classmates privately. They all know who got in where, who was deferred, etc. The grandparents have been told, and that’s enough. My (not normally that sensitive) kid has also stopped wearing a couple college sweatshirts for now so as not to make others feel badly if they didn’t get accepted to that school. I assume they’ll come out of storage shortly, but since decisions started coming out, they were put away.
@Ynotgo post #39 what CC is free? I think that’s great and I wish it were offered in my neck of the woods
@CALSmom Promise plans are being added in a number of places. Here is a recent list of 44 programs in 24 states where residents have access to at least two years of free college tuition. Generally the eligibility rules require the student to have graduated from HS locally.
http://time.com/money/4830367/free-college-tuition-promise-programs/
There may be other plans. For example, I think San Diego should also be listed. Ours is SBCC.
In addition, several states (CA, NY, RI) are making the first year of community college tuition free. But, other fees are not waived as they are with with a number of Promise programs. (CA community colleges are normally $46/unit but waived for low-income students.) This should start in 2018-19 for CA (still depends on the budget for that year). I don’t know how the statewide 1-year waiver will interact with the Promise plans. The Promise plans require students to apply for all available financial aid.