Ever since I started college last semester I started to hate myself. I had a couple of friends in high school but when I transitioned over to college I no longer have anyone. When I started college I was excited to make new friends but I never was able to. so I started to feel like it was my fault. Maybe my personality sucked or I was ugly, or maybe I was just not someone anyone would want to be around. I know this sounds pathetic but, I was too nervous to talk to the therapist at my school. I was wondering if maybe anyone else felt the same? or if they possibly had any tips on making friends. Thank you for reading
@Ava222 - Lots and lots of kids have a hard time making friends in college. College is more than just studying and learning - you deserve to be making fun memories. Part of college is also learning how to take care of yourself - and in your case, that means having the strength and courage to get yourself some help. I am sure your school has counselors that can help you feel better about yourself. Take care of yourself and go. Once you learn to like yourself, others will follow.
I would go right to the counseling office at your college and make an appointment. You can work with a professional to improve your self-esteem and get tips on how to make social connections.
Google “advice from a formerly lonely college freshman” and watch her video. You are not alone! Also yes, get in to see your college counselor. It is their job to listen with understanding and they have the expertise to help.
In the meantime, we are at the start of a fresh semester. Most colleges have an online list of clubs and activities, this would be a great time to check some out.
I don’t believe this, nor should you
Don’t be. That is their job, and they will neither judge you, nor will they belittle what you are going through. Please see one as soon as you can.
This is far more common than you can imagine. You have just moved from a place where you have been for years, and where you knew people from a very young age. You are now surrounded by adults which whom you don’t share a common history or a common local culture, etc. It can take a while until you “find your people”, and likely it took a while in high school as well.
Take care of yourself.
Thank you guys so much I’m going to try to see the consular as soon as I build up the courage! I was really nervous about posting this but it really helped me so a lot. I’m going to do my best to work on my self-esteem even though I know it’ll be hard. I’m aware that it’s what’s really messing me up right now. So really thank you guys so much for helping me out.
@Ava222 - Don’t try to wait until you feel better to make an appointment. It will take two minutes of courage to make an appointment - you can do it! In the meantime, try getting some exercise. If you are not comfortable going to the gym, at least take a brisk walk for +20 minutes - exercise changes your brain’s chemistry and most people get a real mood boost.>
Please don’t be afraid of the counselor. They are there to listen and want to help you. They will guide you through the session and the path to feeling better. Even if you walk in to the appointment and start crying, it’s OK, that’s a start.
See a counselor at school ASAP. You will find that they are busy with many kids who feel as you do. You have built up the courage to post here. Now walk yourself to the counseling center and make an appointment today.
You have been around high school friends for years and years. You have been at college for a few months. It takes time. Trust me, we all know someone who feels as you do. Be proactive, do something to turn your negative thoughts around. You are not ugly and your personality doesn’t suck. Get a campus job, or volunteer, or join a club. You will find your people by being proactive.
Any update @Ava222 ?