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<p>I would never offer such an opinion to a casual acquaintance in real life because its none of my business. I would offer such an opinion to people whom I felt I knew well enough to offer such an opinion and of course in these forums, its all about offering opinions.</p>
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<p>Don’t disagree, but most people are not in the position to spend 50K plus per year on their child’s college education. If you can do so fine. But since most people can’t, without a significant burden anyway, they should be let in on the scam that the vast majority of these overpriced schools are not worth the value people pay for them. </p>
<p>Example, comparing UF to U of Miami. UF is the State Flagship and tuition is maybe 6500 per year full pay in state. I have known working class people pay 30K per year to UM (after getting a 15K tuition discount) rather than sending their kids to UF. Why, because they have been scammed into believing their kids will get a better education at UM. Complete and total and utter nonsense. Just part of the college scam going on.</p>
<p>Quit using the word happy. No one can predict with certainty how happy you will be regardless of your choice. Happyiness is the product of lots of things, mostly your attitude, so dont expect your college choice to guarantee you four years of smiles. </p>
<p>Instead you want to think in terms of a match between the school and you. A place that you can thrive and succeed. If thats true, describing it to your parents in those terms and might get you better traction.</p>
<p>"Don’t disagree, but most people are not in the position to spend 50K plus per year on their child’s college education. If you can do so fine. But since most people can’t, without a significant burden anyway, they should be let in on the scam that the vast majority of these overpriced schools are not worth the value people pay for them. "</p>
<p>Well, I don’t know other people’s finances IRL, so I can’t really judge whether they can afford 50k or not. Therefore, until or unless they ask my opinion of their finances, I’m not going to tell them how to spend their money.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, perhaps you move in a world where everybody seems to come from money. In my world, I know lots of people who live in average houses, buy average cars, have average jobs. Its not hard to know that these people are not sitting on lots of cash to pay to some pig of a school.</p>
<p>Ski, we get it- the schools are pigs and people who pay full tuition are losers. I’ll bet your friends appreciate you weighing in on their personal finances with such measured and non-judgmental advice.</p>
<p>Sorry, but I disagree Ski. If you feel that you will be scammed by sending your kid to a private school, fine. Dont send YOUR kid to a private university. But that is YOUR opinion, not necessarily fact.</p>
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<p>Don’t be so sure.</p>
<p>There actually are people who live below their means so they can save money for their kids’ education and their eventual retirement. </p>
<p>And there are also people who have inherited enough money to cover their kids’ college costs, perhaps when their parents died. Such people would not have made visible changes in their lifestyles because the money is earmarked for college.</p>
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<p>That’s not at all what I said, was it? I specifically said - I don’t know other people’s finances, so I can’t judge whether they can afford 50K or not. I don’t particularly notice what other people drive, etc. For all I know, they live below their means to save for college or have generous grandparents who are funding it. Or they’re more willing to take on loans than I would be. Or, people who I <em>think</em> should be able to afford it - may be supporting elderly relatives or have medical expenses I don’t know anything about or may have gotten that luxury car, etc. through a relative who’s a dealer or whatever. </p>
<p>Either way, other people’s finances and spending habits IRL aren’t my business until or unless they explicitly reveal them to me and ask for my opinion. Sorry, I don’t see any graceful way to insert yourself into telling other people what they should and shouldn’t do with their money.</p>
<p>I wonder how one would know if the school is a “pig” or not. What are the criteria? I send my son to a private school. The merit aid he receives reduces my cost to the same as the public school tha was his second choice. There are a myriad of advantages that he enjoys at the private school that the public school simply did not offer. Often, they are small things, like more food choices, bigger dorm rooms, better lab equipment, etc. but more importantly, he chose a school that fit his view of the world. For us, that means a Catholic Education. That was not the only private school that he considered and others were not neccessarily Catholic. Schools have character and that character helps to form the young adults that we are raising. My son certainly would have been “happy” at the public. There are many right choices and few wrong choices. That doesn’t mean that we should accept a lowest common denominator. There are infinite advantages to the Liberal Arts education and OP should be proud to pursue her own interests.</p>
<p>Four years is too much time to be unhappy, or even merely content. The likeliness of happiness is a primary factor in deciding colleges.</p>
<p>That “pig-in-a-poke” analogy was not about buying a Chevy at Mercedes prices, but an allusion to the fact that we don’t really have a good view of what life will be like for our kids four years from now and whether or not we have made the best decisions. It’s about paying for something based on only a glimpse and a promise.</p>
<p>It’s only one datum, but the kid I know at St. Olaf loves it there and is having a great time. I would put her odds of having a successful, engaged life 10 years from now up against anyone else, Ivy kids included.</p>
<p>thumper - my niece went to Santa Clara, and I didn’t know it wasn’t a public university until I googled it and figured out that it was private.</p>
<p>I know a professor at a top 5 business school who happily sends her daughter to St. Olaf and thinks highly of it.
And, of course, someone’s odds of having a “successful, engaged life 10 years from now” have very little to do with the USNWR of the college they went to.</p>
<p>The private university that was a match for our son was pricier than other schools he looked at. He could have gone to a community college for free for two years but I don’t think that was the right choice for him. He could have gone to the state flagship with tens of thousands of other students and been in huge classes taught by teaching assistants. Instead, the school that worked best for him (a bright student, on the dean’s list) has a campus neither too big or too small, all of his classes are taught by professors, and he is in a large city, which is what he preferred. In his case, I do think his college years are shaping his future, because he may very well end up working in the city where his college is, and I’m not sure he would have been able to network and get to know that community if he’d gone to school elsewhere. </p>
<p>Son received a partial scholarship, making his choice more affordable, tho still a good chunk of money went towards tuition. Every year, he’s applied for and received additional scholarship money from the school. DH and I had some college savings for DS. Sure, I would have wanted DS to pay nothing for school, but I’m one who believes his college choice continues to be a good fit for him. We, the parents, will have no loans to pay back and son will have a total of $12,000 to pay back upon graduation. </p>
<p>DS has always done very well academically, been responsible, ect. so I think that’s why I’m okay with his choice. If he were an average student, I would have steered him elsewhere.</p>
<p>No Blossom, I think people who pay too much for private schools relative to their incomes are victims of the college scam, not losers. Big difference. Most people who do so are doing so because they want what is best for their children . . which is great. It is the private colleges who charge so much that are part of the institutional college scam. But in some regards, the public universities are catching up to them.</p>
<p>Ski- why does Hofstra charge so much relative to Harvard? Why does U Conn cost so much for a kid from New Jersey (who may live less than 50 miles from Connecticut)? Why does a kid who gets into Yale get so much more in need based aid than he or she would from NYU?</p>
<p>I agree that these are important topics for parents to understand… but it doesn’t mean that the parent who decides to pay full freight at Harvard is being scammed.</p>
<p>It also doesn’t meant the parent paying full freight for Hofstra or NYU is being scammed. </p>
<p>Different choices for different folks.</p>
<p>Certain limited schools are likely worth the extra cost due to their prestige factor. Certainly having a degree from Harvard may make a difference in a person’s career trajectory and ego. But HYP is the exception not the rule. There are a thousand private and very expensive colleges out there that are hardly considered good bang for the buck institutions, and yet hold themselves out as some sort of elite institutions. Its kind of like the Dean from Ohio State Law School referring to his school as among the elite. Sure thing. Regardless, the scam comes from the fact that many of these more expensive educations are not better educations.</p>
<p>They may be perfectly fine educations. They may be from institutions that don’t have the name-drop power of (insert elite schools of your choice) but that doesn’t mean they aren’t fine educations. </p>
<p>There is a difference between saying that these schools aren’t worth it because they aren’t very good, and saying these schools aren’t worth it because their education is just fine but they don’t have the door-opening power of other schools. Those are two different arguments.</p>
<p>Skiblack…do what you want with YOUR family. I’m not sure what your disdain is for places like U of Miami and OSU law school.</p>
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<p>Then if they aren’t considered good bang for the buck, no one will choose them and pay those sticker fees. Why won’t the free market sort this out? Look, there are schools I personally wouldn’t pay for (particularly some OOS publics that I don’t think are worth it), but if someone else wants to, why should I try to stop them? it’s not my problem.</p>