<p>My disdain arises from my opinion that these schools charge so much more in inflation adjusted dollars than in the past, that they send many of their students and parents into a hell hole of non-dischargeable debt for educations that are no better than those available at much less expensive colleges. My disdain arises from the Hubris of these people paying themselves and their staffs so much at the expense of their students and their abdicating their roles to provide good educations at fair dollars. My disdain in particular for the University of Miami is their full price is now $1750 per credit hour at the undergraduate level. Who does this school think its kidding that any thing it teaches could be worth that kind of money? But UM is merely an example of a college industrial complex that has gone crazy with greed.</p>
<p>I know absolutely nothing about U of Miami - I have zero impression of it one way or the other. But really, what did it ever do to you? Are you suggesting there aren’t some good, smart people (students and / or profs) there? Are you suggesting that Chemistry 101 at U of Miami is appreciably different from Chemistry 101 elsewhere? Does their math department not go beyond 2+2=4 or something?</p>
<p>Then skiback…don’t bother with U of Miami for yourself or anyone of your children. I have to say…your posts are YOUR opinion…one that is not shared by everyone. I’m not sure why you view this as YOUR persona vendetta.</p>
<p>Obviously, if a family can afford it then whatever school a kid wants and can get into really isn’t an issue. It’s only scary when families sacrifice their entire stability on schools they can’t afford out of some misguided notion that college happiness ONLY comes with a 200 grand price tag.</p>
<p>It’s nobody’s business what school a kid chooses to attend but it’s also hard not to offer other options when you are talking to a starry eyed kid who has never had a real job and wants to be a musician and doesn’t really comprehend what starting a life with 80 grand in debt will be like… or the parents have confided how little they can afford but will risk everything to pay for their kid to go to a school of their dreams (often without even telling the kid how much it’s going to hurt them.) We have watched two such kids have to leave schools they loved because it was never a realistic option financially… heartbreaking!</p>
<p>Obviously though, if the OP’s family is able and willing to pay for a high priced school then more power too them! Personally, our daughter is only applying to schools we can afford (whether without aid or school’s for which have a higher chance of offering enough aid for make up the difference.) Yes, there were a few that are a shame to strike from the list but there are also many more (private and public) that are good fist and where D thinks she can be happy (because really, happiness is largely in your attitude.) In our case, we get more people suggesting pricey schools than local publics… that’s when I want to tell them to shut-up lol.</p>
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<p>You know - that’s on them. I don’t feel obliged to protect other people from not having the courage to say to their kid - I’m sorry, our financial limit is $x. </p>
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<p>You know, I’m guilty of this. One of my friends IRL was talking about places to have her son explore, and when I heard the criteria, I suggested that she think about additional schools X, Y and Z that I knew would meet the criteria. But you know, I wasn’t REALLY counting her money. These were just suggestions, and she was free to take them or leave them. You don’t need to feel obligated if you don’t like someone’s suggestions. Most people aren’t taking it that seriously - it’s just chatter.</p>
<p>wow, I am not a knocker of U Miamia, having 2 relatives attend their special MD program, and lots of clients. The worm could have gone there for free, as they post what grades/ SAT scores qualify for merit. I’ve takn couses for CMEs credit with their top profs.</p>
<p>Just don’t get the negativity. Some depatments, like neuroscience, and LDs, have received lots of funding.</p>
<p>PS Wonderful restaurants in the area. truly</p>
<p>To answer the original question. No, my child’s happiness at college doesn’t matter.
I want my child to get a full ride, study hard, get good grades, and come out with a useful degree in 4 years. And get a job with decent pay afterward. I think that asking for “happiness” on top of all that would be a little bit too much 
Fine if he is happy, but if he has to sacrifice grades for happiness, I think he could do with a little less happiness.</p>
<p>skiblack sounds suspiciously like another poster who had a real negative feeling about UMiami for some god-only-knows reason.</p>
<p>Wow, I have nothing against UM, I am using the school as an example of private schools gone a muck, in this case a decent but not great school that charges an incredible amount of money to attend full pay. I could cite hundreds, probably thousands of schools that if individuals, would be diagnosed as narcissists. My whole point is that the private school educational system is in a shambles and has nothing to do with educating students, but more about feeding their own fat faces. The HYPs with large endowments, of course, can be more generous with their need based aid.</p>
<p>Ski- you seem to be missing the point we are all trying to make here. Attending UM (or Hofstra, or Seton Hall, or Farleigh Dickinson) is a purely voluntary activity, which adults (the parents) agree to finance (or not, as the case may be) with a very high degree of transparency about what they are getting for their money. You can argue that the financial aid or admissions system is complicated and I would agree with that. You can argue that sorting out grants vs. loans vs. Parent Plus vs. “self help” is complicated and I would agree with that. But once a parent stares the bill in the face and sees what is owed in late July in order for Junior to show up in September- I would argue there is no obfuscating involved. Nobody is writing a check to UM in July thinking that their kid is actually attending Yale or West Point or U Wisconsin.</p>
<p>You may not agree with someone’s decision about how to spend their money- heck, I get that. I’ve got neighbors who are spending more on new kitchens with all the bells and whistles than I spent on my house. I have an assistant who spends more on dry cleaning every year than I spend on my wardrobe.</p>
<p>But that doesn’t mean that there’s something inherently wrong with the dry cleaner, or that the contractors are “narcisists” for convincing my neighbors to haul in granite from Italy instead of buying formica at Home Depot. I’d rather pay full tuition at colleges which meet my kids educational objectives than have a fancy wardrobe or granite countertops, but that doesn’t make people who disagree with me evil.</p>
<p>If our educational system is a shambles, why are so many overseas students still trying desperately to get an American university education???</p>
<p>Blossom…I got my granite counters AFTER my youngest kid finished undergrad school!</p>
<p>Gee ski…your previous posts sure sounded like you had some personal vendetta against UMiami. </p>
<p>If all you are saying is that some schools are overpriced for some consumers…just say that. No need to diss the school.</p>
<p>to answer katy’s question–yes, parents would generally like their child to be happy at college. No parent actively wants their child to be unhappy at college. (of course, we also want our student to take care of business before pleasure)</p>
<p>However, it is also up to the child to make him/herself happy to a great degree. In other words, it is also up to the child to thrive where planted. Most students can be happy in a large variety of situations. For example, most students do not get to choose their elementary or high schools, and most students manage to do just fine. Some are lucky–they have families that can afford to give them a choice if they would prefer a different environment.</p>
<p>When it comes to college–outside of families with restrictive cultural considerations–sure, the student has more potential choices available. But the student also has to be accepting of reality–some students might want to go to a flagship, or a fancy LAC, or a wonderful research university–and their families are not going to pay for it, because the family may have other financial priorities (sharing resources among all children, saving for retirement, living in an expensive area,saving money for graduate school, having income uneven from year to year…). These families are not choosing to make their child unhappy, they are doing what they think is right, for them in their situation. And, if the student wants to go to schools other than those the family chooses to afford, it is up to the student to find a school he/she can afford that has the special qualities of the dream school.</p>
<p>Sometimes I read the posts on these forums and I wonder why so many students are always so unhappy, and the unhappiness would supposedly vanish if they were just at some other school. I don’t buy it. If Janie never leaves her room at Campus A, and is upset because her roomie talks on the phone every night to her boyfriend, and the other kids make too much noise in the hallways, and there aren’t any good clubs, and all the classes are boring/stressful/pointless–Janie isn’t going to be any happier at Campus B.</p>
<p>Happiness is an internal feeling. </p>
<p>I love weather in California. I hate weather in Michigan. However, I am equally happy to live in California or in Michigan. I probably had the same amount of perfect days in my life when I was living in cold, wet, windy Ann Arbor. </p>
<p>I think you overestimate the significance of college in your life. A relative of my colleague switched colleges twice, because she was looking for a perfect fit. She got her degree. Now she complains that she has to pay extra on student loans.</p>
<p>As a parent I can tell you that having a very happy, satisfied college student made for a very unstressful 4 years for us.</p>
<p>It’s terribly sad to me that attending college has devolved into nothing more than a means to a job. If that’s how you really feel, heck send your kid to school to learn to drive a truck or a bull dozer. I expect a hell of a lot more for my money than a job for my kid at the end of four years. I expect them to grow intellectually and socially, to learn broadly the things required to be a citizen in a democracy. I hope for them to be very happy - not every minute but certainly overall. You all need to have higher expectations.</p>
<p>^^Who said that attending college has devolved into nothing more than a means to a job? Certainly no one here feels that way (although all college graduates need to have a realistic plan to be self-supporting upon graduation).</p>
<p>We all expect our kids to grow intellectually and socially during their college years but we also expect our kids to be responsible for figuring out how to do that while attending a school they have chosen and can afford. I agree with boyx3 that college students need to figure out how to find their own happiness while accepting that sometimes you just have to learn to tough out a less than perfect situation. It’s called growing up.</p>
<p>You have very romantic ideas about how much power you have over making your kids very happy.</p>
<p>I have zero power over my kids happiness. And you can have a lousy college experience but a great life. But I thought the original question was really about the importance of fit. And frankly, while I agree there is no such thing as a perfect fit, there are some that are a lot better than others and if my kid thinks they have found a great fit that we afford that’s our goal. I was really responding to atomon’s comments.</p>