<p>Please keep us updated, worrypop.</p>
<p>When you go to court, plz let them know about the guy’s turning down his home state school. It may inform your judge of his intent to apply = his intent to harass. Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>I’d start by contacting the lawyer who helped you get the protective order in the first place.</p>
<p>I’ll reiterate: an attorney is usually not necessary to obtain a protective order. The courts are used to dealing with persons who need protection and can’t afford to hire counsel.</p>
<p>Attorneys are DEFINITELY not required to obtain a protective order.</p>
<p>Dodgersmom, are you an attorney? (Just wondering.)</p>
<p>WorryPop: talk to an attorney. Please. Also, ignore advice like this:</p>
<p>
If the guy isn’t allowed to be within a certain distance of you, I fail to see how he could functionally be a transfer student at your university. Would he monitor your every movement to make sure he is in compliance with the order? Schedule his classes around yours - and if he just happened to want to switch majors, then tough luck, Worry, because the guy needs to graduate? Ensure that housing doesn’t put you in the same dorm? Work out a strict dining hall schedule?</p>
<p>Give me a break. “Interfer[ing]” with that prospective relationship is like interfering in a drug deal: the underlying action isn’t legal, so stopping it is not unlawful interference (or rather, since it shouldn’t be happening anyway, there’s no tort damages).</p>
<p>You may not need an attorney to get a protective order, but if the OP used one to get hers, I still think that’s the first place to start.</p>
<p>You are right to be concerned because this is stalker behavior. Why is he applying to your school when there are plenty of others he could apply to? This alone would worry me, even if it’s just a coincidence. So yes, you should go to the dean of students and also the campus police. If your restraining order is still in effect, show it to them. If not, just apprise them of the situation so they can at least be on the lookout for any problems if this guy should get in.</p>
<p>And even if you have a clotting disorder, you didn’t get bruised because you “bruise easily.” You got bruised because he hurt you.</p>
<p>The other issue is that if this guy is filling out his application honestly, he may have to disclose the restraining order. Most universities ask about criminal and educational history. If he’s lying about it, Admissions should know that he’s lying.</p>
<p>^^ Unfortunately, it is not a coincidence. The OP said: "To clarify I got into the program a year ago, and he knew while we dated that I got in. "</p>
<p>ariesathena - You’re mixing apples and oranges. A domestic violence restraining order is a civil order. It is not a criminal conviction and would not need to be disclosed as such.</p>
<p>And, once again, a civil restraining order entitles one to go to court (or the police) if the order is violated. It does not give one the right to “stalk” ones stalker - and go to his landlord, employer, school, etc. to complain about him. The perpetrator is not breaking any law by working, shopping, living, etc. in close proximity to the person holding the restraining order - he is violating a court order, and that’s not the same thing. So, yes, trying to interfere with his right to live, work, go to school somewhere could potentially get you into trouble . . . so why do it? The restraining order has its own enforcement mechanism. Use it!</p>
<p>(Raises an eyebrow) DodgersMom, you’re the one who needs a clue.</p>
<p>According to Florida law (specifically, section 784.046), the events that would trigger a protective order are all crimes. [784.046</a> - - 2011 Florida Statutes - The Florida Senate](<a href=“2011 Florida Statutes - The Florida Senate”>Chapter 784 Section 046 - 2011 Florida Statutes - The Florida Senate) Furthermore, violation of a restraining order is a criminal, not a civil, act. Just to ice the cake, most universities ask if the applicant had any disciplinary issues with their previous institution(s), and it seems unlikely that a woman who had lived with her boyfriend at the previous college and successfully sought a restraining order did not also lodge a complaint with the university. (I mentioned that in my previous post.)</p>
<p>You seem very invested in the idea that the OP has no rights to try to stop this guy from VIOLATING HIS RESTRAINING ORDER. You’ve made some very half-baked legal arguments in favour of that. Why?</p>
<p>Incidentally, if you want to talk about confusing apples and oranges, this right here is a prime example:
Yeah, I’m sure that the OP got a civil order, based on absolutely no criminal conduct, because her ex-boyfriend was complaining to their landlord about her. </p>
<p>/dripping sarcasm</p>
<p>It is NOT ‘stalking’ to inform people of a verifiable, public fact. The OP can legally publish the guy’s name and the date of the restraining order in every single newspaper in the country, if she so chose.</p>
<p>I would contact whatever helpline is available in your area for domestic abuse. I am sure they have seen this before and that there are procedures they have found to be more effective in your area. It is likely that all that is needed is a letter to the judge in your case, but different states are different. </p>
<p>I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I would stay off public forums like this one, btw. You are likely to become the target of abuse just by being open about what happened to you, and what you are dealing with. I would not mention it to folks at the school as it is likely the whole matter will be taken care of through the courts, and knowing you are the victim of domestic/partner abuse generally leads to folks lowering their opinion of you.</p>
<p>Ariesathena, I am sorry but your statements are way off base. We do not know the duration of the restraining order, the precise terms, nor whether or not it was issued in the same state. We do know that the OP was attending a different school at the time the order was issued; and we don’t know whether the part of the order restricting the ex from getting close to her at her “school” specifically referenced the name of the old school, or the new school, neither or both. If the order references College A, and now she is at University B – the order may have no impact. If the order fails to specify the name of any school (just referring to home and school generically), then the order could be invalid for lack of specificity.</p>
<p>Again: she needs to get ADVICE from a lawyer or appropriate legal service – and bring her actual copy of the order to the person who is giving her the advice. These things aren’t generic: the specific words, numbers, and dates used in the order are important. </p>
<p>And the Florida statute you cited does not make it a crime for the ex to “violate” the injunction by enrolling in the same university, nor require a criminal charge or conviction in order to for someone to get a civil order. </p>
<p>I suppose it is fun to play pretend lawyer on the internet and give advice to strangers – but this person has a real-life and potentially very serious problem, and no competent or knowledgeable lawyer would even pretend to give her advice without actually seeing the written order. And obviously, “advice” from non-lawyers or strangers on the internet is meaningless.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Ariesthena, you seem to be confusing the idea of self-help remedies with appropriate legal remedies. The only people who can enforce the terms of the restraining order are law enforcement – not prospective landlords, school officials, etc. And there is no such thing as an anticipatory violation of a restraining order – one either violates the order or does not. All we know from the OP is that she heard from friends that the ex has applied to attend her current school – not that he actually did apply, or was accepted, or is attending. </p>
<p>She is right to take steps to become informed as to her rights in the event that the ex does cross the line. She would be very wrong to follow most of the “advice” coming from this thread, and could put herself in the situation of making her situation potentially worse.</p>
<p>Please, please, PLEASE call the national domestic violence hotline (1-800-799-7233) and find the DV center closest to you. Do not rely on the school to do anything- they legally might not be able to depending on your state and the wording of your PPO (or equivalent). And please do not rely on the information listed here.</p>
<p>calmom,</p>
<p>Aries and I aren’t exactly fans of each other, to put it mildly. That said, she IS an attorney and IMO saying things like: </p>
<p>
is just plain rude. </p>
<p>I do agree with your that step #1 is to look at the actual order. If it was issued in another state, it may not be enforceable. </p>
<p>I don’t know where the OP is, but here in NYC, the bar association has a pro bono program helping people get restraining orders in domestic violence cases. I don’t know if it still works the same way, but it used to employ a paralegal full time to assist people in this situation. She made sure that the paperwork was in order and thus the proposed orders she prepared were rarely denied. There was no charge for this service. In more complicated cases, she could get help from an attorney and there was no charge for that either. </p>
<p>If the university has a law school, I’d try contacting the director of clinical education to see if she can get help. She may be able to become a client of a law student who is “practicing” under supervision. Even if she can’t, the director may be knowledgeable about other options available to her. If she can’t get help there, I would suggest contacting the local bar association to see if it has a pro bono project of this sort or can tell her where to get help. </p>
<p>I would respectfully disagree with romani’s advice to contact an abuse hotline; that’s great advice if she were being abused currently, but this is a different situation.</p>
<p>I came upon this thread and thought it seemed interesting. I have not read all of the posts and I do not wish to get involved with the discussion of what the OP should or should not do. My comment is about general behavior. I have seen bad behavior on this site before. It really shuts things down while being unproductive, demeaning and rude! It is not isolated to this “conversation”. I was really turned off by seeing such side comments as:</p>
<p>"(Raises an eyebrow)"</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>"/dripping sarcasm"</p>
<p>IMHO… those who are well educated and experienced know better and should do better.</p>
<p>*I would not mention it to folks at the school as it is likely the whole matter will be taken care of through the courts, and knowing you are the victim of domestic/partner abuse generally leads to folks lowering their opinion of you. * </p>
<p>No, No, No. This is the sort of advice that doesn’t help OP.</p>
<p>So, let’s back up. Yes, she needs to be in touch with DV folks, for a host of reasons. Yes, she should read her current order and get support from the original attorney, if there was one. Either he/she can take action or advise on the need for one in the new area.</p>
<p>BUT then she will be on campus. She needs the campus folks lined up to support. In matters of DV, there is no “well, I did THAT one thing, everything will be fine.”</p>
<p>She can call the office of the Dean of Students or stop by, depending on where she is today (near campus or away.) They are the first linchpin at the U. They are able to muster authority on campus, make security aware, perhaps deal with admissions. Of course, she can independently visit campus security, but she needs a primary advocate and guide on campus.</p>
<p>We don’t know which avenue will prove to be the strongest, in the end. But the point, with threats of DV, is not to be able to look back with hindsight. It is to roll as many balls as one can, right now.</p>
<p>I am not an attorney. I am U person. Don’t dismiss any line of support.</p>