@exlibris97 I used to think that too, but I now understand that a lot of it is that those are the schools with the best financial aid. Very few schools in the country meet full need and they are the most elite schools.
@exlibris97 Did you read the OP’s post #5? The OP seems to have been very thoughtful about what she wants and acknowledges that her mom would like to brag about her kid getting into a big name school. And it sounds like mom has good reason to be proud of the OP. As @gallentjill said, those schools have some of the most generous financial aid. That’s reason enough to consider them and no need to prove you can explain the differences before you put them on your list. For most people, getting into the school in the first place and being able to afford it both come way ahead of fit as the deciding factors. We love to talk about fit here on CC but often the supposed perfect fit is a luxury people can’t afford.
“Mom, I know you are set on HYP or HBCU, but let me tell you why Pomona would be perfect for me…” and thus introduce her to your list. Have her tell you why she thinks Yale would be good for you, what Spelman would offer you (including what it would offer in FA). Print out a lot of stuff about the FA, the study abroad, etc. for your schools. If you know any alums, make sure you mention them.
My kids really wanted to go to a California school. I told them I’d consider it if they could show me the schools and how they could afford them. Neither did that, so neither applied to one California school. You can’t just talk about the schools, you need to show your mother why the school is right for you.
Actually, it sounds like Dartmouth might be an excellent fit for you on all of these counts. D is really at heart a large and excellent LAC, with excellent language programs, an excellent study abroad program, and excellent financial aid. And it is, IIRC, a Questbridge partner.
@himapaca There has been some miscommunication on this thread. I’m a huge proponent of HBCUs, you may want to consider. I’m not sure if you are male or female but Howard, Spelman and NCAT have excellent comp sci programs. All three school offer merit scholarships and you are in the range to get a significant scholarship. Howard in particular has an alliance with a Google and they’ve set up a program in the West for Howard students. I also know students at all 3 that got internships at FB and google as freshmen so please keep your options open.
It sounds to me like you’ve done your homework in what you think you want. If Pomona is your dream school, and if your mother has her heart set on prestige, then I would do some more homework into how Pomona (or any other school you like) would fit her wants. Find out what’s prestigious about Pomona and sell her on it.
Good luck.
@himapaca , first off, based on your interests, and the way you can formulate your thoughts and make observations, I think you would be a great fit at Pomona. I can not promise you will be accepted as the admit rates are uber low and even lower for females, but… with who you are, i.e. your essence, I have little doubt that you find your place and feel at home in the Pomona community.
As for your mom, I feel your pain. Basically, people who matriculate to Pomona do so because they care about the quality of the education and the environment in which they can learn and flourish rather that the prestige. It is a choice. I am not saying anything disparaging about the HYPS, just that Pomona students choose the school for all that it has to offer, not for a brand name.
And, if I had a daughter as bright and capable as you, I can understand why your mom would want to brag. She is very proud of you and maybe your going to a big name school would emphasize that to her family, friends, and colleagues.
Anyway, back to making the case for you mom…you mentioned possibly attending a HBCU in lieu of a HYPS…here is the thing I would emphasize, Pomona has an amazing, amazing BLACK FEMALE PRESIDENT. And she is young. You would be able witness some extraordinary role model(s) for your tenure at Pomona if you attend. https://www.pomona.edu/administration/president
Dr. Starr is bringing in a AA female as Dean of Students.
https://www.pomona.edu/news/2018/05/30-avis-e-hinkson-selected-pomona%E2%80%99s-new-dean-students
You could have a front row seat and learn from Dr. Starr navigating the largely white and male dominated world of education. Dr. Starr has a young family, too. So, you would get to learn a lot outside of the classroom, thanks to Dr. Starr. Dr. Starr is has a deep curiosity, and is willing be be vulnerable has share her love of poetry and justice. What mother would not want that for her daughter?
And, I dare you to find a better Questbridge community than Pomona. Your mom would want you to feel included and supported and a rich part of the fiber of the school. That is how Pomona resonates. Pomona is a school where the Board of Trustees selected a young AA woman to take the helm.
Please let me know if I can be of any assistance. You are awesome, and whatever happens, I trust you will have a great college education.
One other thought…choosing your own college is really a great chance for you to differentiate from your mother. You may want to remind her of how she wanted to do the same thing at your age, and ask her to give you the respect and opportunity to do the same. Remind her that she taught you to value your own opinion, and that your wanting to go to a smaller LAC is just a manifestation of her enabling you to be able to look inward and make wise (and sometimes tough) decisions.
You got this.
Pomona is harder to get into than any UCs and just as difficult to get into as most Ivies. Harder to get into than Rice which is another excellent school. I tried to interest my kid to apply to Pomona but didn’t work. In the end, the fact he worked on just two college applications (Stanford and UC common application) really helped him submit good applications. Other two OOS Honors Colleges, he just copied and pasted, knowing he would get in with merit money with just okay applications. Many kids who I know to be very smart go to Pomona and Rice, especially minority female students.