<p>How many parents have music conservatory students who express doubt? Our son is doing well in his first semester. He continues to be motivated and he continues to be willing to practice multiple hours a day. He has gotten good feedback and yet he still doubts himself and his ability and continues to say his performances are never good enough. Should this be a concern about his mental health or is this just the way it is?</p>
<p>I think most serious artists doubt themselves, and are continually feeling a pull towards improvement, refinement, and change. It’s hard when peers may be or may appear to be suffused with confidence and self-satisfaction. The challenge is to keep the self-doubt in check, so that it spurs, but does not limit. This is a conversation we have at our house a lot.</p>
<p>This is a great topic. We are constantly going through this at our house as well. I think self-doubt gets instilled into musicians from the start. They are constantly being told by teachers what needs to be better their whole lives. It gets worse with the wonderful phenomena of “studio class”. In a previous life, they were the best musician in the whole school and their peers put them on a pedestal. Now in studio class, their peers are telling them all the things they did wrong! </p>
<p>Once they hit the conservatory level, and they see the level of playing and the sheer number of people who are playing as good as or better than they are, and the shrinking pool of jobs, it is easy for them to get discouraged. The question “Is it worth it?” comes up. </p>
<p>I don’t have a great answer for you but we tell our child to keep at it the best she can. Everything in life is hard, anything worth having will require perspiration, no matter what field you are in. We always point out her strengths, which she tends to forget. We also encourage her to diversify her skill set so that she can graduate with some other job skills in case she has to support herself in non-music ways, at least for a while. If her life ends up on a completely different career path, that does not mean she is a failure. If just means she has different priorities. We encourage her to try to keep up with exercise and to take care of herself, and to maintain a social life. Having a non-parent mentor such as a former teacher for moral support is always good. </p>
<p>It seems to me that the level of stress involved for a music major is so high that ALL of them could benefit from regular counseling services. If your student is making progress and seems engaged in their studies, seems eager to go back after a break, seems to be maintaining their health and maintaining healthy relationships, those are the kinds of things that would make me suspect that the self-doubt is more “normal”. The bottom line is you know your son best and can best decide.</p>
<p>There is a fine line between honest self evaluation and doubt.Both students and a professionals need to be constantly evaluating their performance level against the market and talent pool. Parents need to step back from the loving encouragement we gave them as children and allow their students to develop this facility, understand their doubt and offer them support whether or not their new plan conflicts with the stars in our own eyes. The best response to doubt is “what do you think you need at this point in time?” And let them answer honestly.
Whether it’s doubt or self evaluation at some point all musicians are going to have to make the decision as to whether or not they want to continue with this path. Only they can decide and it helps them if you keep an open mind as to their next step and know that ultimately it’s all good. One way or another they will always be musicians.</p>
<p>I think doubt comes with the territory and is not an unhealthy thing. Music is rough at all levels, and doubt is part of the process driving someone forward. There is a weird balance between doubt and confidence, too much doubt and the student is unlikely to move forward, too much confidence and the student may fundamentally foul themselves up, because if they aren’t willing to look at themselves honestly, doubt that they are playing as well as they could, they may not move forward.</p>
<p>My S is entering conservatory this coming year , so he isn’t there yet, but he also has been in a top level pre college program where he is seeing kids who already play at a level a lot of conservatory students probably don’t play at yet (I am talking winning or placing high in senior level competitions against students already graduated from conservatory), and yes, the doubt is there. I think for him it is fortunate, seeing these kids and having a teacher who is not touchy feely and not afraid to criticize him, has left him with those doubts, at times I wish not as much as has been given him, but it does drive him forward, he knows what he is up against, he sees what the gold standard is and isn’t, and that doubt helps drive it. From what I have heard from kids in conservatory, that doubt is there even in the best kids, the kids my S knows who most people would say “holy cow” at their playing, question themselves (it made my S feel better to see that)</p>
<p>There is no answer as to when doubt becomes reality, when a student realizes it won’t work out, it is one of those things that is different for everyone. A friend of mine went to Indiana as a BM student, and he realized he wasn’t going to make it when he wasn’t getting into the top ensembles and such (he was a brass player,where ensemble playing is pretty much everything), and he dropped music and stayed with his math degree. </p>
<p>All I can say is a music student who has no doubts would scare me more then one who has them, unless the doubts are crippling him, prob par for the course.</p>
<p>My daughter will enter conservatory next year. She has been planning this for years. However, she has never had a performance she was happy with; there is always something wrong. But she works on it and improves on it for the next performance. She has a friend who is always happy with her auditions and performances–even though she still plays out of tune. Much better to have the ability to be the self-critic, as long as it doesn’t lead to depression.</p>