<p>Can he just hold off on the double degree idea and focus on the music?</p>
<p>I’m meeting the high school counselor tomorrow. The high school does have a summer program for those who fail an English class. We’ll have to see if he has enough credits to graduate. I believe we may be able to subsitute community college classes for the missing credits this summer. The college may require him to start in the conservatory only and add the double degree after a year of successful work. I think he would most likely be successful if he focused on music only for his first year. It seems to be what he’s feeling successful at right now.</p>
<p>Wonderful news! I certainly hope it all works out for him.</p>
<p>I think it’s really important to determine that he’s not using drugs (other than prescribed of course.) Oberlin is a great school, but there is a drug culture to consider. This may not be an issue for you, but it’s something to think about. (I don’t mean to impugn Oberlin in any way, but it’s a very liberal atmosphere, and being far from home and support system can be concerning.)</p>
<p>“Being strong willed/stubborn is also a symptom of ADHD,”</p>
<p>“ADHD and ADD are two different animals… and everything you have said about your son falls into the ADHD category.”</p>
<p>@Pianoleg; Which DSM are you referencing?</p>
<p>OP, I think you are on the right track. </p>
<p>Glassharmonica: possible drug use was the first thing the high school counselor asked when I expressed concerns about his junior year grades, so you are tracking the same with her. However, I don’t see any evidence that he is using. He’s actually kind of a goody-goody in some ways. (Except, of course, not attending class and lying about it!) There is a drug culture at our high school, even among the top-performing kids (using ritalin to enhance test performance, for instance), but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with him.</p>
<p>Dec51995, glad to hear you’re in a better place with it all. My continued best wishes. I don’t know what you meant by “educational testing” (IQ, tracking speed, etc.) being unnecessary in your clinician’s opinion, but want to make you aware that LD support such as cognitive behavioral therapy is ONLY available at some of the more rigorous schools (eg UMich for sure) if there’s been a complete (emphasis on complete) neuropsych assessment. While emotional well-being is paramount and is rightly the current focus, the long-term strategy to my mind would include either ruling out or becoming aware of any condition that would afford assistance and that might underpin the behavior. So I’m hoping your clinician takes a multi-pronged approach.</p>
<p>Pianoleg (via Shrinkrap’s comment ) as a side note…Pianoleg, perhaps you meant that ADHD-inattentive type is entirely different from traditional ADHD, which is true. The characteristics you described are often associated with ADHD, but not at all with Inattntive type, or “ADHD PI (primarily inattentive.)”</p>
<p>Clinically speaking, ADHD is the correct term currently for both disorders despite the mounting evidence that the dopamine dysfunctions affect processing in different parts of the brain. “ADD” was an older diagnostic term that is more recently in use again among some to describe attentional issues (like inattentive type) that do not involve hyperactivity. Both are on the dopamine dysfunction spectrum, but so too are many other conditions ranging from anxiety to bi-polar to schizophrenia. As you can guess, these different condition can present widely different characteristics ;)</p>
<p>OP, so happy to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you and your son!!! Having an older son who almost didn’t graduate from high school due to skipping classes required for graduation during his 2nd semester senior year and almost losing scholarships, etc., I understand some of what you are going through. He was bored in high school and ready to move on just too immature to understand the consequences. Fortunately, the high school worked with us and provided a way for him to do back assignments and extra work so he could get a passing grade in the required classes and graduate. He’s doing well in college and is in grad school now.</p>
<p>There is no definitive test for ADHD, of any type. The questionnaires for student and parent are used, and while those are subjective, they are used for diagnosis by many providers, including GP’s, neuro-psych.'s and psychiatrists. Our neuropsych. did do a test for attention/focus but it was in a controlled situation with quiet and no distractions and an adult present watching, and those results conflicted with the opinion of three psychiatrists.</p>
<p>As long as an evaluation is being done, I agree with kmcmom on getting some educational testing as well. Providers often jump to “anxiety” as a cause of behaviors, but a learning issue could underlie the anxiety.</p>
<p>Finally, a psychiatric interview or evalutaion (often hospitals have studies that offer free evaluations) would still seem to be a necessary component. Psychologists are great for what they do but I do think they miss psychiatric diagnoses. Abd therapy is wonderful but for some medication is a priority. (I have no idea if this is true in this case, of course.)</p>
<p>It will all work itself out in the end but since you are thinking about the fall, it might be good to cover all bases. One step at a time of course. You are clearly knowledgeable and resourceful and have the situation well in hand, difficult as that is :)</p>
<p>I like your plan to start with the conservatory only. He will be adjusting to many things at Oberlin , not to mention the challenging weather and isolated, tiny community. Oberlin is a cute town but offers little in the way of distraction. </p>
<p>I agree with the comment about the substance use culture at Oberlin. Most top LACs have a strong “party hard/ work hard” culture; Oberlin, being one of these schools, is no different. D thought a lot of the substance abuse came from students seeking a short escape from the anxieties associated with the workload. Stimulant meds were abused by many students at both of my kids LACs. The students were dedicated to their work and, after an evening of substance use, often switch over to the stimulants in order to get to class, focus on work. This seemed to happen more with the freshmen and sophomores as they had the added adjustment issues (as well as biological immaturity).</p>
<p>As an aside, research any medications suggested carefully before starting them. I would also recommend that if you use a medication, that it be started several months before he heads off to college. My son, at age 13, ended up in the ER as the result of a well-respected psychiatrist prescribing Stratterra for attentional problems. It turned out that S lacked sufficient quantities of a liver enzyme, 2D6. This is not a typical scenario and affects less than 10% of the population. S was not metabolizing the medication effectively and became suicidal after being on it for a month. It took six weeks to clear the drug from his system. S has since refused any psychotropic medication. Unfortunate, perhaps, because some medications may have helped with the social anxiety he has.</p>
<p>I don’t know about Oberlin’s required music courses. If your son is required to take 4 semesters of theory and 4 semesters of music history (seems to be the typical scenario) along with a writing intensive freshman seminar, those may be enough of a challenge in addition to the lessons, recitations, studio meetings, orchestra and chamber groups.</p>
<p>Update of our soap opera situation for those still interested: we met with the high school counselor this morning and my son can easily cover the requirements for the failed class in a 3 week credit recovery class that is free and convenient. I am so relieved, as this will be the easiest way out of that situation and means that my son could likely retain his summer fellowship. However, in the cold light of morning, I have reconsidered the fall start that the conservatory is still offering. I really want my son to have the time to prove he’s got a handle on his problems and to show some academic success at home before he leaves home. I’m concerned that he has repeatedly messed up and then watched the adults clean up for him. As a teacher, I want him to have “guided practice” before the “final exam.” The counselor recommended that he try to start mid-year or take a gap year, and the conservatory teacher says this may be possible. My son would stay home, make sure his diagnosis and meds are working, and show all of us that he can do what college would require. I am thrilled that this might work. I don’t mind the change of plans, potential embarrassment, or whatever: I need a plan I can really trust and get behind. So, I’ll keep you posted. Thanks again for all the advice, on prescription drug use (legal and illegal!), problems with medication choice and dosage, the potential for misdiagnosis, etc. I asked the psychologist to give me a short list of what they will be testing for and I’ll keep you posted. His symptoms are a mine field: they could mean so many different conditions. Thanks again for all the time you have put in to my problem! I’m amazed. I hope I can give back some day. At the least, I will give updates as the years go by so there’s a record of what has happened. I know other parents have done the same on CC. I’ve read their stories with delight.</p>
<p>The very best wishes to you and your son, @dec51995! Your plan sounds smart and realistic, but also positive and hopeful. </p>
<p>So, it is just one class that he is failing? That sounds way less troublesome than failing all his classes, which is what I had gleaned from your first post. Sounds like you have a good handle on things now in just a few days. I’m wondering though about how your son is feeling about your decision. Is it going to be so difficult to see all of his friends headed off to college in the fall while he stays home that he will become very depressed and unmotivated? Is he okay with taking a year off? A gap year is great for some kids who are very motivated and diligent throughout the year to make sure they progress. But, for others it might just mean a slow loss of focus without any specific goals or plans. So, I would encourage you to give serious thought to exactly what he is going to do for the year. For some, starting mid-year is also difficult–other students will have already formed friend groups, socialized together, become comfortable with the school and the residential life and he will have to step into the middle of that. I wonder also about a psychologist recommending a gap year before even finishing assessments or making a diagnosis. I myself would give it a few more days before making a hasty decision–make sure all the details have been thought through first.</p>
<p>Wise thoughts, Clarimom. Every path has pros and cons. I’ve thought of the missed orientation for mid-year start and of out-of-synch courses, as well. I have talked to my son and he’s so relieved that the conservatory is still an option (and AMFS is still on the plate) that he is open to anything. As far as friends heading off to college, most of his friends have already been in college at least a year–one is at Stanford, several are at the U he attends. He doesn’t have a wide circle, but he gravitated as a young high schooler to kids with the same musical, math and computer-related interests, and the kids who had the same interests and were nice to him were the older ones. Those friendships lingered. As for motivation, he would continue lessons with his present teacher, perhaps playing in a community orchestra of professionals and amateurs, perhaps subbing with the professional orchestras and doing the kind of gigging that was suggested in the earlier post. He even might spend some time helping out in our home, something that has been greatly lacking over the years as he has focused on HIS progress, and learning some life skills like laundry, cleaning, dishes, cooking. I think that would be a nice form of restitution for the difficulties he has caused us with this problem, no matter how much control he had over the situation. The dual degree is a five year program, so if he followed it all the way through, he’d be two years older than his graduating cohorts, but he seems several years behind right now in maturity, so maybe that’s not such a bad thing. At any rate, this is still the plan I like best, and it was suggested by the high school counselor, not the psychologist, which I didn’t make clear. I like the thought that if my S didn’t cut the mustard with the first term, we would know not to send him mid-year and would have the option to make him sit out another semester. That, of course, would depend upon the supply of patience on the part of the new teacher and the conservatory. Still, we haven’t even had the psychological tests or feedback yet and no ink has been applied to a plan. Thank you all for your suggestions. Keep them coming as they occur. It helps so much to look at this problem from a variety of angles. </p>
<p>He has one failed class–English–and an endangered one–Econ–which he will in all likelihood pass (he has a week to get up to speed and they are willing to average out the missed exam that is endangering the class). And orchestra, which he is failing because when students arrive late the director yells out, “You’re late,” and my S developed an irrational fear of being late and embarrassed in this way. Every other music ensemble and lesson he had no problem getting to, and he never had trouble getting to rehearsals during summer music camps he’s attended. He’s worked under strident conductors and coaches before and not seemed to mind. I am mystified by this one. The orchestra’s final concert was Mahler 2, and my S spent many car rides this semester having me listen to the piece with him, talking about how much he loved it, discussing the “pretty parts,” and making plans for us to have tickets to the concert. Minutes before the concert started, suited and all, my S broke the news that he wasn’t allowed to play. He had tears in his eyes then and the morning after, something I’ve seen maybe three or four times at the most in all his high school years, and that includes the death of grandpa last summer. He’s not one to emote. This is a puzzle, no question. </p>
<p>Sending hugs to OP and son, it sounds like you have a solid path and steps to follow. And, thanks to the others who have replied. I see similarities for my son and while he’s a freshman in HS, he also now wants to puruse music (voice and trumpet). Smart, yet can be inattentivie, impulsive and compulsive, and has gotten behind in classes he doesn’t really like! But, even more important are the steps/strategies to deal with the situation. </p>
<p>Best wishes OP and son and keep us posted.</p>
<p>Starting at a conservatory mid-year is difficult. Students are out of sync for their music theory, and even if the program is large enough that there is a sequential offering beginning on the off semester, which is uncommon, there may be problems with when the breaks in the curriculum are. Additionally, there would be a gap in experience with the other students. It is easier to figure things out when others are also starting at the same time. The applied music professor may only be considering the performance studies, not the whole picture. Be careful about this option. Good luck as you make your way through the options and issues. </p>
<p>Glad you are working through everything and getting cooperation. An important point was made about the academic load of a music major. Being a Music major is not just all playing your instrument. Many who believe that will drop out when they discover the theory, history, aural skills, etc that are required in addition to rehearsals, ensembles, and practice time. If he has issues completing an academic workload, they will not go away with a music major. If he does go, take the testing results to the disability office and get the campus support that is offered. Make sure you are checking on him and make sure he understands it is a one semester deal if he cannot do the required work. He will not be able to fake a transcript if you require that he give you access to the records. </p>
<p>Agreeing with lorelei about the difficulty of entering mid-year due to the sequential nature of music courses. The counselor who suggested it might not be all that familiar with music programs at the college. Scheduling becomes a real issue when you are out of sync with the course offerings.</p>