<p>I have a few questions about the essays.
1. Are these good essays:
---Color Guard
---How my father's death changed me</p>
<ol>
<li>If I apply to the schools Common App, will they all get my essays? GWU requires an essay on why I want to go to their school. If I apply through the Common App, will all the other schools see this essay too?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li><p>“Color Guard” is a terrible essay, because it sounds descriptive, not persuasive. All college essays should be, basically, persuasive essays. You’re trying to convince the college admissions officers that you are a person with (positive quality/qualities) who would be an asset to their school. “I love Color Guard and am very dedicated to it!” would be a decent essay. “Color Guard has helped me grow as a person” would be a decent essay. Make it very concrete and specific to your life. Make it so that you couldn’t remove your name and have it basically have been written by one of your squad-mates, and that will probably be good. Have a persuasive essay about Color Guard, and it might even be great! I would put your essay about your father’s death as a supplement. My theory is that the main essay is, as I have said, “I am a person with (positive quality/ies) who will be an asset to your school.” My theory on the supplement is that, if you’ve had to face life difficulties, your supplement says “I am not only a person with (positive quality/ies listed in main essay), I am a person who can overcome many challenges.”</p></li>
<li><p>No, they won’t. It will make sense when you open up the Common App. There’s a section that goes to every school, and then school-specific sections that go to each school.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>The essay is used to get to know the applicant. I’m sure you’ve heard that countless times. They never want to hear how successful or talented you are at a sport or hobby because it is too boring and rather average. Your second essay topic is an excellent topic, and can show who you really are. Begin your essay around the day your father passed away. Don’t focus your entire essay about that day, though. For the majority of the essay, talk about how life has been without a farther, and be specific and go into detailed examples. The worst thing you can do with a touchy subject is be general. If you can handle writing in great detail, using certain examples, administrators will be able to share the emotions you have and read it on a more personal level.</p>
<p>I’m talking about how color guard has made me a stronger person and how it feels to perform in front of hundreds of people and stuff. Also, how it was the first sport that I was really involved in.</p>
<p>For the essay about my father. The first paragraph or 2 is about the day that my father died and the last 3 is about how it changed my life today and the obstacles I’ve went through since I had a deceased father. Since after he died I had to sleep on the floor and stuff and live with cockroaches, etc… Then my 3rd essay is for GWU and how I want to go to that school, etc…</p>
<p>I mean, you definitely need to include the essay about your father, if you can. (That might be hard to write for you.)</p>
<p>how it feels to perform in front of hundreds of people and stuff.</p>
<p>^As an ex-color-guard-y, I would find your Color Guard essay interesting, especially because that really is quite a feeling. Maybe I’m biased.</p>
<p>Yeah i feel like I have a strong color guard essay. But idk I’ll see when I finish. I’m on the 4th paragraph so far</p>
<p>Essays are where your voice emerges. If a friend of yours was carrying a stack of essays with no names on them and dropped them all, could he find which one was yours simply by the voice of the narrative? Although this may seem dramatic, that’s a reasonable way to think of whether or not your essay has accurately portrayed you as an individual.</p>
<p>Write about what makes you tick. If you read a book about something and suddenly became passionate about the subject, or if you started an EC and fell in love with it and it became a huge part of your life - THAT’s a good essay topic. When you finish writing, read it over: would the adcoms read that and say… wow! We want that kid! If not, start over.</p>
<p>This may seem lengthy and bothersome; but if you’re a borderline applicant, essays can send you over the top for Ivies and other top colleges. I’m hoping that’s what they’ll do for me. :)</p>
<p>Hope this helped!</p>
<p>OP: read this for advice</p>
<p>[Essays</a>, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.](<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html]Essays”>http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html)</p>
<p>Okay, the beginning of my color guard essay is all imagery. The essay about my dad starts out with facts.</p>
<p>Are you writing both essays or just one of them?</p>
<p>I’m writing both of them right now. I’m on the 4th paragraph of the color guard essay and the 3rd on the one about my father.</p>