I will probably feel that way with my D room (unlike my sons) because I spent more time in there. They didn’t live there since childhood either…only last 11 yrs. THough I admit, after my son moved, i went into his room daily to look around. He still has a bunch of stuff in the closet and desk so I feel like 1/8 of him is still here. 
while i am so happy my kids got great jobs and able to support themselves,…… i do admit a piece of me misses living back in my hometown (where no one in the family moved far away but me) and all my siblings kids lived at home while going to college (great colleges) and then some afterwards to save money. Once they moved they are still a 5-20min drive. While they are not there…they are there… Its funny though, cause I don’t know where I will retire esp with all my kids in different states. I recently met one mom that said she was going to follow her kids and live where they go. I don’t think I can or would do that no matter how much i miss them
After S leaves in 2 weeks, I’ll have three rooms to wander in. We haven’t done a thing to the kids’ rooms, even though the older two are really gone. They left plenty of stuff so it’s as if they haven’t really gone. I still love it when they visit and are in their rooms again. It takes about two seconds to feel like old times.
All the talk about rooms reminds me of an ad a while back where the parents had remodeled the kitchen and now it was big and fancy. Everybody is exclaiming over how great it is and showing new addition off to returning college kid.
College kid says “this is great!” Then he looks puzzled
" But…but…where is my room?" and dad opens a door to a tiny spot big enough for a twin bed and says “sorry son…something had to go.”
I remember that ad- it cracked me up every time.
I think you get what I am talking about. Thanks.
I understand your feelings. My younger son has worked an internship this summer in our town, and truthfully, it has been wonderful to have him home. We are into sports, so many nights, I’ve sat up with him watching baseball games, track meets and now, the Olympics. I’ll miss that, along with having someone to cook for. When he got home three months ago, he did not look good, as he battled everything from strep to mono in the spring. He looks and feels much better now. Fortunately, my older son is in law school about two hours away, so maybe we’ll see him this fall every six weeks or so. He loves a home cooked meal!
D moves back to school next week. Part of me can’t wait because I’m sick of cleaning up the messes she leaves in her wake. She really can’t seem to grasp the concept of shutting a cupboard door or closet.
There’s a part of me, however, that is sad to see her go, even more so than last year when she was a freshman. I didn’t even realize I was feeling this until I re-examined my many outbursts last night and realized my internal stress level was ratcheting up. Little by little she’s breaking away and creating her own life (as she should be!). I’m so proud of her, but still it’s challenging - maybe because she’s our youngest…
@momreads - totally relate to the having someone to watch things with (since my husband watches too many outdoors survival type shows too often). A suggestion - we just binged watched the first season of “Stranger Things” - a new series on Netflix, just released a few weeks ago, getting great buzz. It’s an 8 hour/episode season and soooo good. We watched two or three at a sitting late at night in the dark (show is a bit spooky). I hated for the season to end - but super fulfilling as entertainment goes. Could be a good send off show to watch together
Charm–" I didn’t even realize I was feeling this until I re-examined my many outbursts last night and realized my internal stress level was ratcheting up."
I have a theory that it’s not only the chicks who spoil the nest. Mama birds do a pretty good job of shoving them out.
I got to squawking pretty loud at times just because I was on edge.
I definitely get the bittersweetness of having our kids “launch.” Mine have not lived with us since 2006 and 2009. One is 2500 miles away and the other 5000 miles away.
We are slowly finding some nice things about them being away–when one of us is sick, the other can move to one of the kid’s rooms for the duration and minimize the chance of catching the cold. We feel this is a BIG plus. It’s also easier to invite people to stay with us, as we have to bedrooms available, except when the kids are visiting. We also have a lot of fun when we are able to get together with our kids–either where they are or meeting somewhere else. Before S went to college, he made his bedroom into a guest room, replacing his bed with a futon sofa and installing a TV. It’s a great guest room.
I miss them even we’re in the same room.
That may sound ridiculous. It felt ridiculous when I first noticed the feeling. It took me awhile to realize that I’m really missing is the children they used to be.
I love the people they’ve become, and I’m delighted that they’re doing well as adults. (Mine have been out of college for a while and both are working and living on their own.) But I miss their childhood and the role I used to play in their lives.
I don’t miss the mess, though.
I was really looking forward to having my youngest home this summer, as it may be the last time he really “lives” home (may be away somewhere next summer). The reality has been that we don’t see him all that much, since his HS friends and work friends are around and either they are with us or he is with them out somewhere. More late nights waiting for him to come home and bugging him to clean up his messes are other negatives. I don’t even cook for him all that much due to both of our schedules.
That being said, we have had some really nice times and I will miss him a lot when he goes back to school in a couple of weeks. I have found some new things to keep me busy, and I have good friends and an interesting job, but I really miss the day-to-day parenting and the connections with other families. Not to mention this whole getting old thing!!
I think the last two posters summed it up for me….its the childhood and the role I played that I miss. The getting older part stinks. I love kids and thought about being a nanny or preschool teacher but then it won’t be the same. My D thinks I should be one of this ladies at costco handing out food samples… hahaha Going to do everything as was except now get those house projects completed and workout to slow the aging and reduce the stress.