Firstly I’ve gotten through college all by myself with minimal help from everyone. I don’t really want to go to my graduation at all, I hate my school with a passion, I dislike many professors here and how they teach, and I don’t like the city my college is in. They are all small minded and difficult to get a long with. I’ve made a lot of friends, but not any real best friends.
That being said, my family keeps inviting themselves to my graduation and talk down on me since I don’t want to go one of my family members told me “It’s not about you, it’s about us and we want to see you walk” (I also haven spoken to them in 2 years) That made me even angrier.If I did go to graduation I’d only want like 7-8 people MAX there. It seems like people are so narcissistic, not to mention I have been to the graduation place, and I have some very out of shape family members who will not be able to walk up the stairs to get the coliseum either. They went to my college graduation the other year and started panting after few steps on the side walk.
Make it clear you aren’t going. They can do what they want to. If they had been supportive, helped pay your way, etc (or if even some of them did), then I’d suggest you consider doing it as a kindness to them. But if not, you have no obligation.
As a parent…part of graduation is all about the family! I would be very disappointed if my child didn’t walk at graduation…given that I paid for it and have supported their education for 17 years!
It is their problem if they are out of shape, not yours.
Now if they hadn’t supported you/funded you…then you do what you want.
My daughter doesn’t want to attend her graduation. I’m leaving it up to her even though I would like to go. Maybe she can borrow her roommate’s cap and gown and take a picture for me?
She is entitled to 4 tickets. She’s giving hers away.
At some schools, you only get 2-4 invitations. Does that exceed the number who want to come? That can be your excuse.
You said they gave minimal support. There’s a difference if that means they willingly made it difficult vs they don’t have much money but tried to help financially, even a little. And were emotionally supportive. I can’t tell if this is some resentment talking or you don’t want the fuss.
I guess I don’t get why anyone wouldn’t want to go to their own college graduation. Yes, they can be a hassle: too many people, too long/boring, too hot/cold/insert unfavorable weather here. I was a first-generation graduate, and it took me 6 years and a lot of hard work (both school and paying jobs) to get that degree. Did my mom/stepdad pay for all of my schooling? No, I paid for books/transportation/etc. and had a student loan afterwards to pay off. Did my dad pay for any of my schooling? Not a dime. Did I care? No, because these people were there to celebrate with me, and because I literally would not have been there except for them. It was one of the happiest and proudest days of my life, and I wanted to share it with people who cared enough to have the expectation that I would go to college and actually finish.
OP, if you are only interested in rewarding people who had a material hand in your college success, let the “limited” tickets thing be your excuse to keep the number of attendees down. If they really insist on being part of the celebration, have a family party afterwards. You can get someone at the ceremony to video it and show it at the party.
Guess what? Graduations aren’t the only family event where it isn’t necessarily all about you - weddings and funerals are about other people, too. If you aren’t on board with accommodating this phenomenon when you are the star of the life event, at least acknowledge it. FWIW, if I’m paying full boat for my kid to get a college degree, you better believe that I expect to be there to watch him/her walk.
It doesn’t sound to me as though this was about finances. The tone I got from the OP seems to indicate that he’s not at all close to the family members… he mentions that he hasn’t spoken to them in 2 years.
Start how you mean to continue forward. If your relatives…
didn’t financially contribute to your college education
haven’t spoken to you for the last 2 years
never called you or checked in on you while you were in college
never offered you morale support on any of this
and they basically just crawled out of the hole they’ve been hiding in so they can claim some of the glory
Then no…you should not go to the graduation ceremony just for them. Tell them in a very kind & non-sarcastic tone of voice that their idea is a great suggestion and that they are welcome to attend, but you will not be attending.
If they insist that you have some sort of big family celebration for your college graduation, you can decline that as well. ESPECIALLY if they want you to pay for it.
I can understand why someone wouldn’t want to go to their own graduation. They are intensely boring, and some of them are outside where it’s cold. When I received my PhD I attended some of the exercises but skipped several.
There are lots of other ways to celebrate graduations besides going to the actual ceremony. You are no less graduated just because you didn’t walk across the stage and then listen to someone drone for 2 hours.
If you don’t want to go - don’t. Tell your family they are welcome to do whatever they wish but that you won’t be there.