<p>I would allow the sleepover. It's a decision that needs to be made by each family, but I chose not to be hypocritical (based on my own behaviors growing up) and said horses had already left said barns etc. </p>
<p>The car thing would concern me. The girl probably wasn't telling her parents the real story and I would want their permission before she took off in your/your son's car for a three day weekend.</p>
<p>We had a simple rule with the sons. If the girlfriends' parents wouldn't allow same room sleepovers at their own homes, why should they think it was OK at ours? NEVER did a girlfriend say it was fine with her parents.</p>
<p>Just say no. It is not OK with you. None of it. Its putting you in an awkward position. Too bad if they don't like it.</p>
<p>It is a dicey issue. It was when my brother was single. Figured it was ok since he was living with his girlfriend that they share the guestroom. Then they broke up and there was another GF, and then another. It made me uncomfortable. So with my boys, the girls sleep in a different room. I don't strain my ears listening for the foot steps but I am just more comfortable that way. The other thing is that I don't want to put the girl in that situation. Don't know if she is comfortable and I don't feel like discussing it with her. With all my boys and all their girlfriends, I'm not in any mood to putting myself in an uncomfortable situation. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I have had boys and girls stay the night in our family room. Really it's just what makes me comfortable since it is my house. Other families have other rules.</p>
<p>I would have no problem with the sleepover, but I would house them in different rooms, and if there is discreet nocturnal traffic, then so be it. I dislike the idea of putting them in the same bedroom, though, even if I can know or guess that they are intimate at college. Call me old-fashioned, but I think it's ok to at least keep up certain pretenses around parents.</p>
<p>Funny thing.....he called tonight and he had backed down significantly on both issues......I think he realized that mayhap he had pushed a little too hard....</p>
<p>Ahh isn't it great being a parent!</p>
<p>That nice, all's well that ends well.</p>
<p>I'm with MOWC on the room issue. I am comfortable with my kids sharing the downstairs guest room with their "significant others", but NO WAY to the car deal. Too much liability.</p>
<p>In terms of the sleepover - that simply depends on what your family rules are... In our house, not happening. They can do what they want to do elsewhere - but last time I checked I was the one paying the mortgage on this house!!! </p>
<p>As for the car - it is basically the same deal - if it is my car or my insurance then I am not in favor of letting anyone whose driving ability I have not assessed expose me to that liability. Can she drive to another city in my car - well - does she want to go to Dad's DMV for a driving test?</p>
<p>I wouldn't allow sleep-overs in the same room but once my S was over 21 or so, AND was in a long-term relationship, we gradually relaxed the rules. It had more to do with my own comfort level, but also with the fact that we have a younger D.</p>
<p>I agree with the majoroty ... the owner of the house gets to sets the rules ... and the guests ought to respect those rules ... and the owners should also respect the guests (respectful) reaction to the rules. My parents had similar rules which were not really any big deal when I was in college. When I was older (26) and living with the future Mom3togo my parents imposed the same rule ... in our house only married people can share a room ... my response "I respect your position and your rules and will not violate them ... but futureMom3togo and I will not stay overnight anymore since this is my life partner and we stay places where we can stay together" ... eventually my parents changed their mind. I think all these type situations are tricky (ago of kids, siblings invloved, etc) ... and can work out as long as both side respect the other's positions and are willing to revisit "rules" as things evolve.</p>
<p>I agree with NOT letting her drive your car. I was broadsided in broad daylight by a Vanderbilt sophomore girl who was driving her friend's car even though the friend was in the car with her. All appeared stone cold sober. Once I got all of them calmed down and to stop crying out of fear (thank God none of us were hurt), it was the car owner(daddy of friend) not the driver, who had to pay my repair bills. It cost around $2500! I don't know how much the cost was for her car and never will. I can only imagine what their insurance rates went up to, if they didn't get cancelled as well.</p>
<p>I have heard nothing more about the car request - I have told my son I would call insurance but I haven't yet - I already know what they are going to tell me. Truth is, her parents would never let her do this....he knows it, I know it.....and the liability scares me silly.</p>
<p>With respect to the requested sleepover, it also seems to have faded away. While this child is my youngest son, he is 18. And she is just turning 18. I am not naive about what they may or may not be doing, and I hope that they are intelligent about it, but I do not feel, that at age 18, they need to be given carte blanche to do it at my house. They have been dating about 6 months. We are not talking what I would call, at this point, a truly long term relationship.</p>
<p>Evidently this child spoke with my older child - who basically verbally slapped him up along side the head......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks!</p>