<p>Hi everyone. My first week as a sixth former at boarding school just went by and I feel like changing to another school. You see, at my current school, people have been here for around five to six years, and I only joined a few days ago. Although people here are really friendly (they say hi to you in the corridors and all), I find it really really hard to make myself included in their groups. I know it's a bit too early for people to accept me, but some of the new people (my batch) have already formed cliques with the old people and they go around hand in hand laughing every day. I feel absolutely miserable because it seems like people judge me as a loner whenever I don't have people to sit with during mealtimes. I try really hard to be sociable, but I'm somewhat of an introvert, and I don't exactly click with girly girls, which make up the majority of the female population here. </p>
<p>The friends, or rather acquaintances, that I've made, are really friendly, and so are my housemates. The problem is that I don't feel accepted, like I'm not their real friend. Sometimes they ignore me and don't bother explaining stuff to me. Also, as I was previously from a Convent school, our culture is vastly different from the culture here where girls laugh riotously and go absolutely crazy with boys. I find it extremely difficult to strike up conversations with boys because I'm afraid that people will think that I'm some kind of a loose girl. I don't joke much with the people I've just met, cause I'm afraid our comfort level might be compromised and they might be offended. I know that I sound like a scaredy cat, but I really find it very very very difficult to socialise around here.</p>
<p>What should I do? Should I try acclimatising for a couple more weeks or should I just change to another college where it's only people taking A-levels and much more liberal? I really hate feeling like a hermit in my own room. Everybody just seems like they've been friends for forever and I feel like I will never ever be able to join in with them. Urgh. Advice please?</p>
<p>If the only thing you’re having a problem with is finding friends, then I really suggest you try to stick with it a bit longer, even if you’re miserable now. You really will be able to join close groups of friends, even if it feels unlikely at the moment, but it just takes time. However, if you aren’t really attempting to make people more friendly with you (because you’re shy about it) then it probably won’t happen. Just don’t be afraid to ask to join people or go up to someone and talk to them. Unless they hate you or something they won’t have a problem with it and will understand that you’re new and don’t have any other friends.</p>
<p>Is sixth form the final, or senior year, at your school? If so, then I can’t see any alternative to toughing out the rest of the year. If you just started school mid-year, your adjustment difficulties are understandable, but should work themselves out. Winter terms at boarding schools are notoriously rocky, but the first warm day in spring changes the entire picture.</p>
<p>It’s just a week! Hang in there, participate, try to reach out. Your feelings sound really natural to me, but I believe it’s going to get much better for you.</p>
<p>What you’re feeling is completely normal. I wouldn’t be afraid to talk to guys. Maybe, if you make some guy friends the girls will talk to you more. Plus, guy friends are better anyways!</p>
<p>Well, I’m at a boarding school in Malaysia that’s modelled after the British counterpart. I was at a day school near my house for my GCSEs and this is my first time away from my family. My new school is apparently among the top in my country for A-Levels (though it does GCSEs as well), hence my parents sent me here. The social circles here have long been established because all my new schoolmates grew up together, so it’s pretty hard for me to join their cliques. The people who joined the sixth form at the same time as me, are pretty much the type of girls that talk about clothes and boys and gossip all day long; I tried talking to them but was largely ignored…</p>
<p>I do want a ‘nerdier’ place to fit in! But I don’t want to give up halfway here if I’m not completely sure that I won’t thrive in this environment.</p>
<p>SS - way, way, way too soon to throw in the towel. Lower your expectations for how fast you’ll feel comfortable with a group of people who enjoy long, existing friendships, but don’t lower your expectations that it will happen. It will! More important than anything else is to always be nice and outgoing whenever you have the chance.</p>
<p>We boys are a subject of great interest, amusement, chagrin, laughter of young ladies at your age. It’s ok to be careful and tentative if you’re not used to a lot of interaction with the opposite sex, just don’t be judgmental of other girls (that’s the kiss of death). It’s even ok to let yourself have a chuckle or two at the various shenanigans. No one is going to think you’re “loose” for striking up a friendship with a boy, either. It might even be good practice for you to learn how to have fun with boys while always be true to yourself. The advice I gave (and still give) my daughters about boys is this (and ALWAYS remember it): don’t pay attention to what the boys say, only what they do.</p>
<p>I think you’re just feeling shell shocked with the transition into your new environment. That’s normal. In time, it will go away. It’s also worth remembering that groups of kids who have been with each other for a l-o-n-g time are also easily bored of/tired with each other. You offer the chance for a new friendship, something different. You’ll find that if you lead with a smile and warm attitude in your daily course, other girls will begin to seek you out. It just takes time, the hardest thing for someone your age to understand. </p>