<p>Thanks, Zagat.</p>
<p>I am actually contemplating a gap year.</p>
<p>Academics are also my passion, so it would be really tough to just give up on them for a year. But unless I get off a waitlist, a gap year might be the way for me to deal with this. My other option would be to do the UC route, and transfer. But I am thinking that transferring from a UC might be more difficlt that simply reapplying after a gap year as a freshman....I cannot even fathom going through this again, though:)</p>
<p><<also, i="" did="" not="" name="" the="" schools="" because="" want="" to="" hurt="" anyone's="" feelings="" if="" uc's="" got="" into="" or="" whitman="" were="" their="" first="" choice.="" insult="" anyone.="">></also,></p>
<p>That was very thoughtful of you to think of others in the midst of all this.</p>
<p><<i have="" changed="" my="" mind="" about="" whitman="" because="" i="" attended="" a="" few="" local="" gatherings,="" and="" something="" just="" does="" not="" feel="" right="" for="" me.="" can't="" explain="" it.="" it="" is="" feeling.="">></i></p><i have="" changed="" my="" mind="" about="" whitman="" because="" i="" attended="" a="" few="" local="" gatherings,="" and="" something="" just="" does="" not="" feel="" right="" for="" me.="" can't="" explain="" it.="" it="" is="" feeling.="">
<p>My daughter had second thoughts about one of her two top choices b/c after driving 3 hours for an admitted student event, all they offered us was potato chips and soda. lol. My daughter is the type who gets flighty and lightheaded if she doesn't eat regularly so it just set the whole day off. I guess food always involves deeper issues, like comfort and caring. </p>
<p><< You know, my school has been having college nights every night since I was a freshman. I have visited schools, read about them, dreamed about them, and worked so hard to get into one that I would be happy. I am NOT going around crying at home like a spoiled kid, if that is what you think. My mom IS crying though, because we talk alot and she knows how dissappointed I am. She knew what I was hoping for. I am blessed to have a very supportive family who I love very much. >></p>
<p>Yes, you are. There's nothing wrong with showing emotion, drawing together and comforting each other before devising a plan to move on. </p>
<p><<i could="" care="" less="" if="" i="" am="" "first="" generation"="" or="" not,="" but="" don't="" expect="" any="" of="" myself="" becaue="" am.="">></i></p><i could="" care="" less="" if="" i="" am="" "first="" generation"="" or="" not,="" but="" don't="" expect="" any="" of="" myself="" becaue="" am.="">
<p>Nor should you. Good luck getting off those wait lists. We're working on that here too. I hesitate to post details for obvious reasons.</p>
</i></i>
<p>"Maybe if her parents were more savvy this mistake would not have been made. "</p>
<p>By the way, SBMom, just because my parents did not go to college does not mean that they are not "savvy". (how insulting!!!!) For your info, it was the "savvy" guidance counselors (with master's degrees) at school who called Middlebury a match for me, not my parents.</p>
<p>Also, I did not post for awhile because I have a life...friends, a job, a boyfriend...... and don't spend hours at a time posting on CC. What information that you retrieved from my previous posts was so unveiling of some secret info that I would not return??? Am I the only person that ever changes their mind? I think I would rather be a person who gathers new data and reformulates my opinions as a result rather than be a person who is so set in their ways that they have one staunch opinion no matter what. </p>
<p>Also, I did NOT view Pomona as a "match" for me. It was one of 3 schools that were considered "longshots/probables" by my counselors. Please do not put words in my mouth. </p>
<p>Wow, this is just SO weird!!!</p>
<p>Lurking' girl. Maybe Whitman could help pay for your visit to their admitted student's days?? Although a gap year can be a great thing, you might not find the results any better in the admittance department after taking one - and how would you feel if you didn't get into any dream schools next time? You have a "bird in the hand" (well, several actually!). First impressions can be wrong, and until you have spent a few days on campus, you will not have an accurate impression of what the campus culture is like. It is worth scraping up the money to go to admitted student's days - you may find you LOVE the school after visiting, or hate it so bad that you can't imagine yourself there; either information is important to have. So if you really can't afford to visit, call admissions and see if they can help pay for some of it. (BTW, was the financial aid package from Whitman good enough that you could attend???)</p>
<p>mcdob1958-
Thank you so much for your kind replies. Good luck to your child on the waitlists, too.</p>
<p>anxiousmom-
I have not received my financial aid package, yet. My parents said they would make it work, no matter what. I will try to go to Whitman for admitted student's day. I have reservations about the gap year, too. I am just trying to consider all of my options. Thanks so much for your help!!</p>
<p>Lurkin girl, I can understand your not mentioning your mother's illness, but perhaps you might want to rethink that. It might be something the counselor could discuss if he/she is calling on your behalf, to get you off the waitlist, stressing that you have a great record and you achieved it at a time when you had many challenges outside of school. "We at Lurkin Girl's HS really think that Lurkin Girl is a remarkable young woman - were you aware that her mom was quite ill during L's sophomore year?" - something like that. I don't think it will get you the "sympathy vote" - rather it will show one more side of you that is most admirable. Just as adcomms expect more from kids who have had all the advantages, they admire kids who succeed despite hardships. Good luck and chin up!</p>
<p>Lurkgirl--I agree totally with Wish it was April. I understand why you wouldn't want to mention it before but things have changed. Ignore any of the few negative comments on this thread. Its a shame that someone like you is turned down and perhaps her slot is filled by a kid with parents who paid for a College Application Coach. This is the shame of this whole process.You are a great kid and will do well no matter what happens. Any school will be enriched by your presence. If you go where you were accepted--remember--there is a saying that "by Halloween of Freshman year all kids feel the school there are in is now their first choice".</p>
<p>Thanks so much, dogs and wish-it-was-april.</p>
<p>I just have a problem mentioning my mom's illness. It seems expoitive to me. I am lucky that whe is still here right now. It just does not seem to have a place in the college admissions process. It is too personal to me. Maybe that is my problem :) I want the colleges to want me for ME, not because I have a mom with advanced cancer.</p>
<p>Thats what makes you such a gem. Its hard to keep track of this long thread since much of it was specualtion as to where you were accepted. can you be specific at this point about the final considerations assuming you won't get a spot off of a waiting list?.</p>
<p>Whitman and 3 of the UC's (honors program at Santa Barbara).</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <p>I want the colleges to want me for ME, not because I have a mom with advanced cancer.>></p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>That''s a great attitude. But it is also important for the colleges to know that you were able to do as well as you did DESPITE experiencing all the anxity caused by your mom's illness and caring for your mom. It puts your achievements in perspective. It does not mean that you would be admitted BECAUSE of her illness.</p>
<p>All nice schools. Which way are you leaning?</p>
<p>I apologize that my comment about "savvy" insulted you. That was not my intent. I meant savvy in a very narrow way-- "aware of the selectivity level of these schools"-- not savvy in a general, life-smarts way. </p>
<p>If it was the GC's list, then that's who wasn't savvy (despite the masters degree) Maybe, though, the GC was under the impression that the UCs or Whitman were schools you'd like to attend.</p>
<p>Now that you have explained your OP I understand your situation better. I am sorry that you are so disappointed. I echo the advice to visit Whitman if at all possible; first hand impressions will be more reliable. If you want to PM me I have a friend who went to Whitman and I could see if she's be willing to talk to you about her experiences there. </p>
<p>I think your GC let you down by defining some of the LACs as matches that, because of the sheer # of highly qualified applicants, unfortunately are not matches for <em>anyone</em>. You were thinking "match," so of course the rejections/WL were a surprise. </p>
<p>As with andi's son, maybe the WLs indicate the colleges not knowing your degree of committment to attend. Making sure that the WL schools know of your stong interest could only help.</p>
<p>I agree with the comments above re your mom's illness-- not as a bid for sympathy but as an illustration of your determination and focus. No one is going to admit you anywhere based on sympathy, but it puts your achievements in proper context by showing how you stayed the course under much stress.</p>
<p>Lurkin, you don't have to mention your mom's illness. Have someone who is writing or calling on your behalf do it. The GC, a teacher, the principal, a coach - someone who knows you and knows the situation and is comfortable making a call like that.</p>
<p>I also know many kids who were extremely happy at Whitman - my son's HS routinely sends a few kids there every year - so PM me too, if you want more info.</p>
<p>While I certainly understand not wanting to "exploit" your mom's illness during the college application process, I firmly believe that waiting lists are different. The colleges have already agreed that you meet their standards and academic requirements. Now is the time to write a letter explaining what sets you apart from the other waitlisted students who have similar accomplishments. And unfortunately what sets you apart is that you were able to meet their standards and requirements all the while dealing with the intensely difficult situation involving your mother's illness. This is something they need to know in order to make a fair assessment.</p>
<p>lurkin' girl, mcdeb1958 is really right on this one. It is extreeeemly difficult to have a parent w/ cancer. You may not even realize how much until you are older. This is not 'gaming' the system or using an unfair tactic at all. It's fair and just. Please consider doing this.
andi</p>
<p>Lurkin', </p>
<p>I totally understand the whole not liking a school thing! And, you know what, you're right. Just because Whitman had been my first choice does not mean that it would be right for everyone (or me even... I never visited!). What I'm going to say here is... follow your heart. A gut feeling is one of the most important feelings you'll ever have!</p>