No I was diagnosed with social anxiety several years ago but not depression.
@oldfort Yeah this is a particularly tough time of year for me. I really feel like a need a break and can’t take one.
I agree with @gearmom and @Lindagaf. You should let your mom know and you should also see a psychiatrist for medication. Depression is not something a person can just “get over” without help. It is also not because there is something “wrong” with you, or because you are doing anything wrong, or because you are not strong enough in some way. You should not have to just “hang on” until you see your boyfriend. There’s treatment for this just like there is treatment for medical issues.
@soontobecolleger This is personal and you don’t have to answer. But reviewing your thread about your dad, you mentioned that he died of a progressive mental illness. There are so many things that are treatable especially with a good doctor. You’re so important to your mom. The way you wrote your opening paragraph, clearly you are wanting help. The trick is to get you that help. You need to let your mom know about the crying and difficulty coping that you are having as a minimum. Are you telling your therapist what you told us here? I think you are telling us the truth about your feelings. What is she suggesting?
@gearmom honestly at my last session I was stressed and excited about my BFs visiting so a lot has happened since then and I don’t know what she will say when I talk to her this week. I have been feeling worse each day. I don’t understand what you mean about my dad. Yeah he died of a progressive mental illness. Is that a question?
My heart really goes out to you, @soontobecolleger. I sounds like you are dealing with a whole lot. I didn’t read all the responses, so maybe someone already brought this up. I know you are looking for a reason why you feel the way you do, and for some people that reason is biochemical. You don’t mention (unless I missed it) whether or not you are taking any medication, but that might be something to discuss with your therapist, or with a doctor if your therapist doesn’t have the credentials to prescribe. The right medication in the right dose can do wonders for some people. Just wanted to throw that idea out there if you hadn’t already explored it.
@soontobecolleger Is that in any way blocking you speaking to your mother? Sorry. Should have been clearer. Cause I think she would like to help you find a solution. That’s what moms do. And someone mentioned biochemistry. Exactly. You need to get the right the right treatment. There is no reason for you to suffer alone. None at all.
@gearmom I still don’t really understand the connection sorry. And I do speak to her; I just don’t tell her scary things because I know she is already worried about me. BTW she will be visiting me this weekend with her bf. It is family weekend here.
@soontobecolleger Not sure how to explain that better, so let’s drop. But it seems like you don’t want your mom to worry so you don’t mention the scary things. I really think there is no reason for you to suffer alone when this is likely a biochemical issue that can be treated and you can feel better. Maybe explain it like that to your mom. You’ve been thinking scary things and you feel like you need more help.
Now this is a different topic. But I am having a really bad time with perimenopause which is causing terrible anxieties. I am working with doctors to correct my chemistry. It is helping and that is what you need to do. Sometimes when you’re feeling bad it can feel overwhelming, suffocating so you really need to reach out to your family and have them help you through this. Because they can.
@soontobecolleger Also I think someone also suggested a regular doctor. You might want to have your bloodwork checked. My SIL is going through the same fun time I am, after a summer of feeling bad, anxiety and panic attacks, they finally discovered that she had an iron deficiency. With the proper dose of that, she’s mostly better. If you had pnemonua, you’d treat it. Same thing.
@gearmom I had my blood taken for an experiment about a week ago, but they probably wouldn’t tell me if anythings wrong, right?
@soontobecolleger What kind of experiment? No you need a proper evaluation. As I understand it, you’re super smart (you’re at Northwestern), you like your school, major and classes. But you’re getting emotional and are anxious. It could even be a hormonal imbalance. How is your sleep? Do you take multivitamins? Are you vegetarian?
@gearmom My sleep is ok. Yeah I don’t eat meat, and no vitamins.
Btw from the feelings I do tell my mom about, she wants me to consider quitting my job. That’s her idea.
@soontobecolleger Interesting. My SIL is also a vegetarian. She was trying to get enough iron through her diet but it wasn’t enough. Are you feeling tired at all?
@gearmom I think my “tired” is mostly just sad, like when I don’t wanna get up cuz I don’t wanna deal with anything. My sadness makes me tired and my stress makes me feel very very awake and hypervigilant.
@soontobecolleger Especially as a vegetarian, I would go and just get checked. It could be that there is something simple like correcting iron deficiency that is part of the solution for you. Are you trying stress relievers? Part of this perimenopause treatment are things like mediation and breathing techniques. Better than nothing sometimes. What are you doing to alleviate stress?
eating too much chocolate
^That is my absolute favorite stress reliever also. I like dark. Look at the Livestrong article above correlating iron and anxiety. Especially as a female, vegetarian, I think you need a look over. Add something like yoga into your day too. @soontobecolleger