Give antidepressants a try. You don’t have to stay on them forever, but they might just bring you to a place where you can reasonably take stock of the issues with your job, your major etc. In your current state you may make decisions you’ll later regret. Also, your mood will affect your boyfriend and your family even if you don’t discuss it with them. So I’d say you need to take a more proactive approach to your mental health. In addition to vitamins and diet changes suggested here, exercise does wonders for your mood, but you know, sometimes medication is the only thing that really helps.
@yucca10 i disagree about the medication. I see that everyone is coming from a good place trying to help but I really believe that medication is not taken as seriously as it should be and that’s not really something I’m going to budge on. I take my problems to health professionals, in addition to forums like these, and they will help me decide if medication is something I should consider. I’m sorry; i just don’t think it’s an appropriate suggestion.
You go home for the semester on 12/8. That’s 4 weeks from now. Hang in there. You will get through this.
A few things that you might want to consider (some folks have already mentioned these):
- Anxiety - you mentioned having had anxiety problems in the past. You also mentioned having "scary thoughts" and feeling reluctant to confide in your mom about them. Is it possible that what you're referring to is "intrusive thoughts?" Kind of like a tape in your head that start rolling and you can't stop it. After my 2nd child was born, I had postpartum depression and anxiety. A huge symptom for me were intrusive thoughts. It was like I couldn't control it. Some of the thoughts were really scared me and freaked me out (i.e., throwing the baby against the wall) and I knew that I didn't want to do that. So I sought out psychiatric help and I started going to a support group and I started taking a very mild antidepressant and...holy cow...within 2 weeks, DRAMATIC improvements. It was like night and day. The "scary thoughts" went away.
- Diet - like others have mentioned, deficiency in certain vitamins CAN make a difference not only in one's physical health, but mental health as well. When I was seeing the psychiatrist for postpartum depression/anxiety, that doctor recommended to take fish oil supplements because research at the time showed that it helped women with my condition.
- Vitamin D - a lot of people don't realize it, but many folks are walking around with Vitamin D deficiency. Being low in Vit D can make your hair fall out. You can feel like you're exhausted all the time, like you sleep for 10-12 hours and still wake up feeling like you've been run over by a truck. There's a simple blood test that any doctor can order which will test your Vitamin D levels in your blood. If you're deficient, you usually just have to take an OTC (over the counter) supplement.
- multivitamin - It would be a good idea for you to consider taking a general multivitamin.
- Iron - Any doctor can order you a blood test to check the iron levels in your blood. On a lab slip, it would show up as "Ferritin." Low iron levels can contribute to anemia. It can manifest itself in fatigue, thinning hair, hair loss, feeling weak, headaches, dizziness, cold hands & feet, stuff like that.
This is only kind of related to the hard time you’re going through right now, but just a word of advice from one person to another…now is as good a time as any to practice taking charge of your health. And one excellent way to do that is whenever you have blood work done through a doctor’s office, make sure that you get a copy of the actual lab results.
Don’t just take the medical assistant’s word for it that your lab results came back “normal.” It’s your personal health data and it’s helpful to know what YOUR “normal” is.
Every lab report will show what YOUR result is for each specific lab test and then next to it, the lab will print out on the same sheet of paper what the “Reference Range” is. The Reference Range is what the “normal range” for that blood test is.
With SOME blood tests, you could technically be in the normal range, but maybe your result is on the very low end or very high end of normal. An endocrine condition like hypothyroidism would be a good example of this…some people have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism, but their TSH test result is technically in the normal range, so their regular PCP (primary care physician) just looks at the lab report and says, “Oh, this says you’re normal, so you’re fine and we don’t have to do anything.”
What I’m also trying to say out of all of this is that you know yourself better than anybody else because you live with yourself all of the time. So if you don’t feel well and if you see a doctor who blows you off, go see somebody else and get a second opinion.
We’re all rooting for you. Hang in there!
You’re absolutely right, follow the advice of the health professionals with respect to medication. I’ve just had an impression you might be prejudiced against it or thinking you problems are not serious enough to require medication (if they’re making your life miserable, that’s serious enough). If I was wrong, great.
A little bit of exercise may also help get endorphins moving and help improve your mood–it does for me and many others. I know dark, overcast, cold weather can be tough for me and a bit of exercise can help some.
You have already gotten a lot of great advice, but just wanted to let you know that I’m rooting for you! You can get through this!
I’m so sorry to hear about this situation! As your post progressed, your thoughts seemed to get darker and darker. However, I would encourage you to write it all down, even if you don’t want to post it or read it over. In my experience (a freshman who is having a touch time transitioning) it just relieves pressure - at least for a while. I know nothing about biochemical stuff, so I’m not going to mention it again. I’ll focus on things that I think might help pass the time.
I don’t know how your relationship is with your family, but maybe you could trying calling them up? I talk to my mom every day. If you have someone in your family, or your boyfriend, that can talk with you daily, or every other day, it gives you something to look forward to, and something mostly positive.
It sounds like you’re pretty busy, or at least trying, by working and volunteering, which is helpful! But the pressure you are applying on yourself is not helpful. If you can take having extra spare time, maybe it could help to take a step back in one thing that you are involved in? This might give you more time to devote yourself to other things so that you can be more confident and not like you are barely managing not to screw up. This is just a suggestion, as I don’t know if you feel like you have too much free time or too many commitments.
I know it seems like December is far off, but if you can find at least one thing you enjoy, whether it be the phone call, a new tv series, reading, video games, etc., and devote at least a little time to it each day, it could provide an escape from college.
College certainly is not for everyone, so it may be that you never really enjoy it that much. But there are a lot of different phases of your life ahead that you are likely better suited. Good luck, I hope this is helpful, and we are all pulling for you!!!
@ClippersFan4Life thanks for your response. I talk to my boyfriend every day, sometimes twice or 3 times, and that is when I actually get to relax and talk about everything so it helps a bit to look forward to that. Also Netflix and Reece’s peanut butter cups, but then I end up feeling more insecure cuz I don’t like to gain weight
@soontobecolleger Glad to hear you’ve got those things going for you! I do not know how active you are, but you’re insecurity of gaining weight (who doesn’t have that :(…) reminded me of the gym. Obviously it isn’t for everyone, but even if you’ve never been before, I think it’s something to think about past, “that’s just not me.” I even felt a sense of camaraderie with my fellow gym-goers when I first started going at the start of college. And it’ll allow you to eat more peanut butter cups with less guilt!!! Like I said, the gym isn’t for everyone, but consider it if you aren’t already going. Even if you don’t care about getting stronger or better aerobic health, the mental effects are noticeable.
I remember my first Friday night at school I was feeling horrible, as I am not a partier. I hit the gym at 10-11 pm, and it really turned me around. I felt great! May still be the best feeling I’ve had since I started college.
@soontobecolleger Glad you’ve got someone special like your BF in your life. Keep talking to the people who love you!
@ClippersFan4Life i used to go to the gym all the time back home and I did cardio and weights and everything but here it makes me feel more stressed because I just feel insecure working out in front of a bunch of college people so I just do some core exercises alone in my room and not much for cardio. Also going to the gym only really makes me feel better when I combine it with a semi healthy diet, which is not gonna happen this month… and on that note I’m gonna make a trip to the vending machine. I bought the last peanut butter cup yesterday but hopefully it’s been restocked.
BTW work actually felt good today cuz the children were being cute and my Spanish was useful so I guess there are ups and downs
^Then walk. Spend 20-30 minutes each day walking for cardio. Careful with the white sugar. Causes nutritional deficiencies. P!ease have a long conversation with your mom this weekend. We’re all rooting for you.
I will but the sugar thing will definitely not be part of her advice cuz we are a family of uncontrollable sweet teeth
@soontobecolleger Look https://www.amazon.com/Tigers-Milk-Peanut-Butter-Nutrition/dp/B005XIDRG8/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1510199649&sr=8-2&keywords=Carob+and+peanut+butter Healthy Reeses. And you get your B6, B12, iron, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, protein. Amazon Prime it.
I’m checking in @soontobecolleger to see how your Family Weekend was -
@momzhood It went very well. It was nice to see her again. My mom did some research on my current therapist and was very impressed so she suggested that I give her a chance. She also made me promise to do 3 things for myself every week regularly besides school and work (gym, ice skating, and shabbat dinners were the specific things). I went to the gym this morning and that helped relieve some stress at least for the first half of the day.
@soontobecolleger And vitamins. At least a multivitamin please. Sounds like great progress. Starting to heal your whole self, fitness and Shabbat. I wish I could give you ten likes.
Oh, honey, it’s so hard to lose a parent and grieving takes time. I don’t know how long ago, but times of transition are especially tough. And it can seem like everyone around you just wants you to be “normal.” But this isn’t an easy normal- not the loss, then going off to a new place, new expectations, and feeling rotten.
Yes, stress or diet can mean you need vitamins or other adjustments. And vitamin regimens, done with awareness, can be safe. But someone needs to give you a shoulder to lean on, no expectations til you can manage those.
My kiddo had a counselor with whom she didn’t click. I thought this person was great. But that’s me, a grown adult. Is this someone at school or outside? I advocate someone with the particular experience in dealing with college aged kids, sometimes exclusively working with your age group. When we found this sort for my girl, things turned.
But yes, sometimes, working with a psychiatrist, rather than a therapist of other sorts, means that, if needed, they can prescribe. And they start slowly with a Rx, they monitor your progress or reactions. This isn’t a magic cure, but like catching your breath. Best wishes.
@lookingforward she’s a few minutes from campus, someone covered by the school insurance.