fighting the summer job/car battle

<p>My s has worked the past two summers. A month or so ago he mentioned that he wanted to, "ya know, take it easy this summer and play some golf." Well, my H and I haven't stopped laughing yet.
PS He starts work a week after graduation.</p>

<p>So, great advice thus far.....let me ask ya'll, how would you interfere with a future graduate student? Say, living at home to prep for grad school, involved in enough PT work to pay basic expenses for themselves, doing research work toward grad school, but NOT working obsessively to save up money for grad school living expenses like Mom & Dad think ought to happen.</p>

<p>I would like to see 40-60 hours a week devoted to storing up cash while the rent is low and the food is free, but D does not SEEM to realize how critical it will be to reduce student loans by every single dollar possible.</p>

<p>How much would you push and how much would you let your kid make their own mistakes there? I am concerned kiddo is still in the "I'm a college kid and can take a break between classes mode) (kid has gone FT including summer school for 4+ years to obtain a double major) and it feels like she is just nejoying some breathing space, but in my book she has no realisation of the oppurtunity cost of such a breather. When you think about an extra $5k in loans at graduation which might allow acceptance of a lessor paying job, allow an important purchase, etc.</p>

<p>Thoughts Oh, Yee Oracles of CC??</p>

<p>woody:
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A month or so ago he mentioned that he wanted to, "ya know, take it easy this summer and play some golf."

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</p>

<p>That's pretty funny. Good idea! Why didn't I think of that? Duh! :D</p>

<p>Woody- sounds like what my brother would say! :) Actually, he did just that- sleep until 11 AM, play some golf in the afternoon, run over to his pizza job, then come home, slept... that was his schedule. Enjoyed it every minute.</p>

<p>OP- I agree with many of the posters. I think what you're doing is very reasonable except for 5 applications part unless you happen to live in a city (which I don't judging by the "hills" comment). He really needs to get it on before the college students and other high school students start nabbing the jobs. It's quite unfortunate for me that I won't be able to find jobs when I return to the States in June from abroad- that's how competitive summer jobs are. Must be filled by June 1st or so.</p>

<p>5 years on his bar mitzvah money... wow. Wow. I can totally see why working seems like taking a walk on the plank...</p>

<p>We ran in to the same situation. "We were thinking about just hanging around this summer and taking a few road trips and working on the guitar." We told him if he wants to go to the state school he could work only part time. He wants to go to USC. He has to work 35 hours a week all summer, gets no new car (everyone's getting one for college/graduation), and has to study for his spanish test (usc doesn't place you out with ap test). He knows we are not joking and told him if he doesn't keep his end of the bargain along with decent grades then he is out of usc end of first year. Luckily, he took lifegaurding course two summers ago and can probably work at the pool for $10 an hour.</p>

<p>Thanks for the temp agency suggestion.</p>

<p>My younger son (11) said he wants a Bar Mitvah after he saw his older brother's confirmation didn't pay off very well.</p>

<p><a href="refering%20to%20grad%20school%20student">quote</a> How much would you push and how much would you let your kid make their own mistakes there? I am concerned kiddo is still in the "I'm a college kid and can take a break between classes mode) (kid has gone FT including summer school for 4+ years to obtain a double major) and it feels like she is just nejoying some breathing space, but in my book she has no realisation of the oppurtunity cost of such a breather. When you think about an extra $5k in loans at graduation which might allow acceptance of a lessor paying job, allow an important purchase, etc.

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I'll bite on this one, although it might be better to post it in a separate thread.. I think an extra $5000 in loans at graduation is insignificant in the scale of things. I think after 4 years of year-round college, it's okay to take a year of parttime work and smell the roses and do some research and figure out what you want to do with your life. I'm not sure how the financial aid works at grad school (haven't quite got there yet with DD), so I don't know the ins and outs of saving versus having little saved, but if your daughter does need a lot of money for grad school, can she take more than a year between undergrad and grad? BUT, the major point is that she is now an adult, a full-fledged adult, and it is now her life and her loans and her bills. If you choose to let her live at home, and she is contributing the amount of money you request for room and board, then all the other issues are hers and HERS ALONE!!!! Enjoy her being around - and don't worry about issues that are not your responsibility anymore. :)</p>

<p>OP, it's been my observation that kids who are basically nice and good when they are 11 or 12 years old will be nice again when they are grown, even if they turn into snotty brats while they are teenagers. :-)</p>

<p>Here is another related question. S is finishing his jr. year of h.s. We have a family business that he works at some (at Christmastime) making $400 or so per year and he has some savings ($1,000 or so) from grandparent gifts, etc.. He will get his drivers license this summer, and we require our kids to pay $50/month towards insurance. </p>

<p>This summer, S has his schedule completely packed, and it's all productive. He plans to intern 2 weeks (for free) at a summer video camp, attend a Civil Air Patrol camp and church camp, attend a national YMCA conference, go on an overseas mission trip, and make 2 short films. </p>

<p>Okay, so that's fine. He can probably manage the insurance money for this year without a job. But what about next summer before he leaves for college? He's already talking about the position he hopes he gets at CAP camp, what kind of films to make, etc. These are all productive pursuits, but I am wondering whether we would be doing him more of a favor to say, "No, you'll need to work that summer."</p>

<p>As an aside, spending money for college isn't a big concern. We will allow him to use our old beater car at college. Also, he plans to apply for an ROTC scholarship and will likely get one. Part of the scholarship is a monthly stipend of two to three hundred dollars. I'm more concerned about the responsibility aspect of him having a job.</p>

<p>Great advice about working with a temp. agency. We have never figured out how expat kids who are only 'home' in the states for 4-5 weeks could get some job experience. We'll look into it this summer... Thanks</p>

<p>Timely- If all you're interested in is "responsibility" aspect of a summer job, I think you son has nailed it with all those other commitments.</p>

<p>My friend who manages a retail business that hires hordes of teenage workers has a method...she only interviews those that CALL HER TO FOLLOWUP after dropping off the application.Perhaps it would be good to let your S know this.
Temp work if available is a great solution.
Once your S's classes are over, if he is not allowed to use the car, and his friends won't come to pick him up, he'll get bored really quick.Might be his attitude will change then.</p>

<p>
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It is difficult to describe to someone how fulfilling it is to earn one's own money.

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<p>Maybe because it isn't fulfilling, as such. There is some fulfillment in independence, having some discretionary income, eventually some security, as well as whatever enjoyment the job itself brings (which could be zero). However, trying to ennoble work in the eyes of your children at a time when it is basically a nuisance to them will probably only sound smarmy and self-serving.</p>

<p>somemom, going to school 12 months or so a year is work, a lot of work. May not be 60 hours a week but it takes a real toll on you and can definately lead to burnout. With grad school looming, burnout is the last thing you want. </p>

<p>Your D is willing to do enough work to pay her own expenses so she isn't just blowing off all her responsibilities. She has been busy and productive every summer. She is not a slacker. Of course it's scary to watch her potentially pile up debt for school but it is even more scary to think that she may pile up that debt without the benefit of the grad degree because burnout keeps her from going the distance. As long as she is meeting her financial obligations, take a deep breathe, give her the time to recoup and enjoy having an extended time to spend with her as this will probably be the last time you will be able to that.</p>

<p>km5,
Our oldest S started to work after his junior year in high school. We told him that he would be responsible for all his spending $ in college. He found the job himself, in a local music/video store. He learned how to be a cashier, stock shelves, help customers pick out different kinds of music. At first he would come home and bitterly complain about how much his feet hurt from standing so many hours a day. My H and I were so sympathetic. Not exactly. :rolleyes: He would work there on his vacations, too. He is graduating from college this June and we have not given him a dime for spending money. He is very frugal with the money he has earned. You are doing the right thing by holding firm that he must work after having lived off the fat of the Bar Mitzvah land for so many years. Try to make helpful suggestions as to where he can look for work, how he should dress, etc. If he continues being a pain in the *ss (normal teenager) and won't have a civil conversation with you, then he can deal with the financial consequences.</p>

<p>I'm a soon-to-be freshman at college, and I have a question. I recently got an internship at MITRE, which comes with a $1500 scholarship and a guaranteed salary of at least $400 a week for ten weeks. How long will this money last me in college? I do have some personal savings here and there, but most of that came from gift money and I'd like to know I've earned the money I'll be spending.</p>

<p>Well, you're the mathwiz but I'd estimate that a $400 weekly takehome for a total of $4000 would last you till well into junior year...This assumes we're talking about spending money only: clothes, occ. meal out, entertainment, personal stuff, no big travel, etc.</p>

<p>mathwiz only means I'm good with numbers, not with knowing how much money I'll be spending.... ;)</p>

<p>What about taxes?</p>

<p>On a sidenote, was I the only one whose jaw dropped that the Bar Mitzvah money didn't go into a college account? I always give with that assumption. Am I out of date?</p>

<p>Why give money that primarily benefits a university rather than the recipient? You can always send direct donations to the school if that is the intention.</p>

<p>We have a car sitting in the driveway that my kid is not driving. We told him that he needed to find a job to pay for his car insurance. We have also stressed that we are not going to give him spending money. Another thing we told him was that he had to have a full school day if he didn't have a job. Few seniors at his school carry a full schedule. We didn't care if he volunteered but wanted his time full. He has done some volunteering and finally after pushing for months he found a job. The person he is working for is flaky so the schedule doesn't seem to regular. We have told him that if this one doesn't work he needs to find another. The car will not be returned to him till we see a good chunk of the insurance money.
The harsh reality of it is that we live in a semi-rural area and without him driving I am stuck driving him. It is a bummer for me but I do feel good about sticking to my principles.
His older sibling always worked and his younger is anxiously awaiting the day she can get a job.</p>