Finding a marriage partner at an HBCU

<p>I am currently interested in attending FAMU (Florida Ag&Mechanical University).. but I here the women to men ratio on HBCU campuses are not so good.. And my mom and dad..really want me to find a guy in college. Futhermore , guy's and girl's nowadays (not all) are into casual sex, i'm not comfortable with that idea... I would just like someone nice, that i could possibly build a future with. Help? Advice? lol </p>

<p>Don’t force things. </p>

<p>@AgScienceChic‌, take your time to enjoy college life. Casual sex will not land you a husband, so keep that in mind. So don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable just to fit in. </p>

<p>casual sex will land you a reputation but not a husband. Resist the urge to land a man and focus on why you are there which is to get an education. Relationships come and go but a four year college degree lasts a lifetime.</p>

<p>It’s ok if you’re not interested in casual sex. Don’t let anyone pressure you. I also don’t think it’s wrong wanting to find a partner at college as long as your well being and academics comes first. </p>

<p>Don’t go to college with the intent of finding a husband. </p>

<p>Are you going to college to get a degree or to get a husband? The high school I graduated from had plenty of parents who wanted their daughters to “find a guy” while they were in college. Their hope was that they’d be engaged by the time they graduated. Is that what your parents are hoping? I think young people should date different people and take time to find out what they want in a relationship. If I were you, I’d concentrate on making friends and just let relationships develop naturally. But if you’re intent on finding a permanent relationship while you’re in college, just be aware that most 18-year-old boys don’t enter the dating scene looking for someone to build a long term relationship with. The nicer ones won’t lead on a girl who makes it clear that’s what she, or her parents, are looking for. The not so nice ones will let you believe they’re looking for that too.</p>

<p>Serious relationships at that age can limit your life choices. The son of a friend met his girlfriend in college. They’re serious enough that they’ve gotten an apartment together. But having a serious relationship at that age caused him to give up his first choice grad school because she didn’t want him to be halfway across the country from where she hopes to get a job. He didn’t feel that was fair to him, but he’s doing it. I hope it’s not something he regrets later on, but when you’re in a relationship, these are the compromises you have to make. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to do that as an adult. Go to college, have fun, graduate, and let life take care of itself. </p>

<p>Love your parents and show them respect but finding a husband should not be the a priority. This is old school thinking. Take advantage of the academic and life experiences presented to you. Enjoy the books you read and social functions you attend. Concentrate on internships and opportunities to study abroad. Live the life of a college student to the fullest!</p>

<p>Please go to college for you and you alone. Husbands can be acquired at anytime. I met my husband as a college freshman. I went to college to get a degree and cultivate myself with no intention of looking for love. These things just happen…or not. I will tell you like I tell my girls… college is for cultivating you! Friends, men and all other extracurricular should only help you better you, but NOT be a focal point. Let education, and if you are a person of faith, God, be your focus. Most hbcu’s are essentially girls schools by the looks of the male female ratio charts. If that concerns you it might not be a bad idea to look into Greek life, if that suits you, as it can narrow that gap. Both my husband and I are NPHC Greeks been together for 25 years. My eldest has her heart set on Spelman because of the academics and traditions. I wish you the best in your search!</p>

<p>Don’t do the casual sex thing. Guys have always been into that. The number of girls into it seems to be rising. None of that makes it good to do though. Casual sex last peaked in the eighties just before the HIV/AIDS epidemic. These things are not without consequence. Don’t be pressured into stupid behavior.</p>

<p>As far as finding a husband…you either will or you won’t. You can’t force it to happen. Just be real and open to meeting people and having a relationship. </p>