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</p>
<p>Nominating this for illogical and incoherent post of the year.</p>
<p>Suley (yea I called you Suley), how about you just stick receiving SAT advice rather than shelling it out. Also, don’t get your hopes up that you score an 8 on the essay. Many of your sentences are incomprehensible.</p>
<p>@ yamster: thank you!!
I do not think of it as Harsh - I will get her to work on these points</p>
<p>@bak0rz: can you please elaborate on the ironic? the thread has gone off on a tangent and I am going to take the constructive bits from here.
Thanks for the marking rubric.</p>
<p>@others: thank you for taking the time to read.</p>
<p>@OP</p>
<p>I would give the essay a score of 6 or 7, as the first example needs to be elaborated more and not much critical thinking is demonstrated. </p>
<p>Moreover, the essay is really too short to warrant a score of 8 or more. When I took the SAT as a sophomore, my essay took up one page and a couple of lines of the second page (which should be slightly longer than your daughter’s essay) and received a 8. When I took the exam for the second time, my essay used up a page and a half and received a score of 10. Though this ridiculous ‘length = quality’ logic has been criticized for a long time, one must admit that there’s a extremely high correlation between length and score.</p>
<p>@Suleyman95 When you give someone’s essay a score of 2/12, please at least demonstrate an English proficiency that deserve a score higher than that.</p>
<p>@mathematicism
thank your for your reply to an “old post”
I am showing her these criticisms and hope that she will come up with another one in the next couple of days.</p>
<p>a</p>
<p>Maybe it is a bit shorter than I thought. Yeah, it might be a 6 rather than an 8.</p>
<p>I would agree with a 6 as well, but not far at all from an 8. There was a lot of potential in using The Fountainhead, and the Basketball anecdote was really good. However, there wasn’t any backup information for Peter Keating, besides generic comments. Using a novel or historical reference should be done with specific information in mind. I thought the sentence structure was pretty solid, and there were some strong vocab words in there, so keep those up!</p>
<p>@youwrotethis - thank you!
She is already in her XII grade with an unbelievable amount of school work. She has not been writing as much as I or she would like to - but hopefully will learn from these.</p>
<p>apply2school, I would highly suggest you ignore Suleyman95’s posts. They are incoherent and offer a flawed (lightly put, of course) analysis of your daughter’s essay.</p>
<p>I would give this essay a 5 or 6 out of 12. It’s definitely too short for a grade of 4/6 or higher. I definitely see that there are 2 quality examples (The Fountainhead and a personal anecdote, in the second of which the use of I is perfectly fine) and that there is a conclusion present. I would recommend that your daughter really try to elaborate on her examples (i.e. 8 to 10 sentences per example) and maybe to throw in a couple of high-level SAT words if they coincidentally fit.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>@314159265: thank you!!
you said hi-level SAT words - She has been studying/reading/prepping for the SAT at a holistic level - has been strong with language but has never studied with word lists and there is no time now.
do you have any tips on how to get some top of mind recall with high level words?</p>
<p>thank you very much, a</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Direct Hits Core Vocabulary of the SAT: Volume 1 2011 Edition (9780981818450): Larry Krieger, Ted Griffith: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Direct-Hits-Core-Vocabulary-SAT/dp/0981818455/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283320363&sr=8-1]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Direct-Hits-Core-Vocabulary-SAT/dp/0981818455/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283320363&sr=8-1)</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Direct Hits Toughest Vocabulary of the SAT: Volume 2 2011 Edition (9780981818467): Larry Krieger, Ted Griffith: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Direct-Hits-Toughest-Vocabulary-SAT/dp/0981818463/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283320363&sr=8-4]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Direct-Hits-Toughest-Vocabulary-SAT/dp/0981818463/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283320363&sr=8-4)</p>
<p>These 2 books are great for learning hi-level words for the essay and for learning the most commonly tested words on the sentence completion questions in the CR section.</p>
<p>i back up the guy above me. Direct Hits is great! It helps you remember words faster with the interesting examples it uses. </p>
<p>grade my essay?:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/990510-grade-my-first-sat-essay.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/990510-grade-my-first-sat-essay.html</a></p>
<p>Hi all,</p>
<p>My daughter who i have been tutoring for the SAT, scored a 2080 on her october SAT with a 12 in the essay.
my sincere thanks to those who took the trouble to critique her first essay ever and provide helpful comments. </p>
<p>we would not have been able to do this without the generous CC community. </p>
<p>many thanks again!!!</p>
<p>thanks, a</p>
<p>I would score this a 5 or 6.
Your daughter must already be an avid reader, judging from the fact that she’s read The Fountainhead - which is definitely not standard reading for schools (it’s a bit too…daring).
She should elaborate on her examples, with specificity, as previous posters have stated, and try to analyze them a little more to develop complexity.</p>
<p>Tell her to study the High-Frequency and Hot Prospects word lists from the Barron’s How to Prepare for the SAT book. Even if she only has a week, she can get at least 3/4 of them down just by rote memorization. Those are ESSENTIAL and have been vital to almost every practice test I’ve taken as well as the Oct. SAT and PSAT.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about the essay much, though. I got perfect on the Writing MC and an 8 on my essay, and it only lowered my score 10 points.</p>
<p>OP</p>
<p>When I posted my essay here I got 6/12 I think…but the next day, I somehow managed 10/12 on the real SAT so…remember that CCers are harsh.</p>
<p>To get a good score, just make sure you fill those 2 pages. Tell your daughter to say what she thinks, then write 2-3 examples that support her view and conclusion</p>
<p>^read the last post of the thread before you post</p>