fitting in at college

Student Lounge College Life
21

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some of you do have great suggestions, and I will buy some blue jeans, which I lack in favour of kakhis, and wear fewer polo shirts. I probably look too much like an "egghead." I cut my hair the way I do because I don't have shaggy or wavy hair, and the mushroom made me look shorter. but I may just wear more hats. But tell me, how much is going too far? What is the line between "being myself(or the closest thing to it)" and "selling out?"

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<p>That's always a tough question. What is the fine line between selling yourself out to be accepted and being yourself?</p>

<p>My question to you is whether you like the person you are. If you feel insecure and unhappy with your social life, perhaps you should look into revising some things about your character. Don't limit yourself to remaining exactly who you are by telling yourself that you'd be "selling out" if you change anything. Living life and going to college is all about growing, not just academically. </p>

<p>You could also look at it this way: you're adapting to your environment, animals do it all the time in order to survive. In this society, doing well socially is pretty important. </p>

<p>Also, you don't have to completely sell yourself out in order to fit in. It seems to me that you're a little insecure about some things, and most people can sense that. People are attracted to confidence and stability. So get rid of some things that people might misinterpret as overcompensating and trying too hard, such as the pretentious haircut/clothes/attitude.</p>

<p>The hair is easy to fix. Go to a nice salon and have a young good-looking stylist do your hair. You don't have to go there every time, you just need to know what style suits you best.</p>

22

<p>what kinds of long pants are worn the most? I see a ton of jeans, but I rather like cargo pants since some of the cheaper jeans are either really heavy or really rough. I also see those black pants with chains and paperclips and it makes me want to throw magnets at the person :-(. I really like sweat pants though; quite comfy. There really aren't that many types of pants for guys; I bet people laugh at kilts...</p>

23

<p>nobody will hangout with you because you ***** about everything</p>

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<p>I don't see why you have to be so judgmental, sundevil. I didn't write this thread for you to hurl insults. Why not some advice instead, or if you have nothing worthwhile saying, don't say it.</p>

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<p>the world is an insensitive place. just go out and be yourself and outgoing and if your nice people will wanna be around you. its that simple</p>

26

<p>
[quote]
the world is an insensitive place. just go out and be yourself and outgoing and if your nice people will wanna be around you. its that simple

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<p>You yourself sound somewhat naive. The world is not that simple. "If you're nice"? People have different definitions of what is "nice".</p>

27

<p>Look, picking clothing to make friends is a joke. As long as you don't look like stever urkel (you're now a social liability to be around) no one will care much.</p>

<p>You're not "selling out" by experimenting with different clothes. In fact most guys hardly change their style at all; they just stick with the first thing that they is semi-acceptable. Try out some things.</p>

<p>I see clothes as a form of self-expression. Now, that self-expression can be that you really don't give a flyin' F and don't care about fashion or styling yourself. But people will try to box or categorize you instantly based on what you wear. All humans do that with every other human: figure out what they're about right away.</p>

<p>So... if your clothes do not give off/ express yourself in the way you want them to, then why not change them. You might want to give off the vibe of 'intellectual' or 'smart' (by the way you might not necessarily do this if you're personality comes across as intellectual anyway - if you're smart people will know). Anyway, there are many ways to do this and also appear social capable/ not like a doormat at the same time. (unless you want to give off that vibe - you know, like you have a gf and don't want girls hitting on you, or you want to bait guys into not thinking you are that dominant - there are some unique scenarios). </p>

<p>Just some thoughts. But like I said, it's just self-expression, I guess. It's really not that important - especially not for friends or girls.</p>

28

<p>get all your clothes here and you'll be fine</p>

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29

<p>so in other words, my clothes may present an air of cockiness? However, as a natural alpha male, I do not want to compromise being myself.</p>

30

<p>Oh my. If your last post was meant to be serious on your part, it's no wonder why you haven't made any friends at school. It has nothing to do with your stiff hair, your corny clothes, or your height. It's because of your attitude. Good luck in life.</p>

31

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<p>LOL.....LOSERRRR</p>

<p>10 trillion char</p>

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<p>Anyone who talks about "alpha males" and isn't referring to a pack of wolves is insecure about his masculinity.</p>

33

<p>ok I think people have been mistaken on what I meant about "alpha male." I simply meant I will not be a social doormat, and not try to dress nicely. Its a balance between coming off arrogant, and not being assertive enough, a thin line.</p>

34

<p>You aren't smart, fit, well-dressed, or good looking; you couldn't be an alpha-male.</p>

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<p>LOL you wont try to dress nicely? Have fun shopping at wal-mart, manlet</p>

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<p>I meant that I will NOT "not dress nicely," which means I WILL dress nicely. Semantics mistakes.</p>

37

<p>you got a lot of problems little guy. i recommend that you do not reproduce.</p>

38

<p>haha this is really funny because now I know i remember you, we went to HS together because you looked so familiar in your pic you sent me, and you’re a LI Laxer, and I think you were in my math class one year and sat near me. if you’re the guy i’m thinking of, I remember you’d always argue with an aquaintance of mine and the teacher would yell at the 2 of you (LaBarbara’s class?) :slight_smile: um no clue what your name is, I was class of '08 and i guess you were older. to be honest, the reason i remember you at all is because you sort of stood out at this really short loud guy and kind of had a reputation for being that way…small school you know.</p>

39

<p>LOL.^</p>

<p>See, that’s why you don’t fit in.</p>

40

<p>Damn, asusundevil, lol kinda harsh.</p>

<p>Damn, you sent a picture to a old classmate, lol what a coincidence.</p>

<p>The truth is, your whole head is surrounded around your height, you forgot to do what you were suppose to do, RELAX.</p>

<p>I realized that reserved people who talked in small bursts made the most friends.</p>

<p>What was the point of wearing preppy again? Doesn’t sound like you were getting play from the preppy girls…</p>

<p>If your shirt does not have a stain, your good, thats it, no way around it, keep your colors neutral, simplicity.</p>

<p>I reallyyyyyyyyyy feel for you… Look for advice from your father.</p>

<p>How do you ask a question on CC and end up in a fight with a girl…your social skill lacks my man…</p>

<p>I wish for you to have better luck in life.</p>

<p>From your point of view… It may seem that no one wants to be seen with a 5’2’’ dude.
But your mistaken, this is not the way everyone thinks, there are friendly people in this world, believe that.</p>

<p>Go to a church, most accepting people in the world. You can meet a lot of good people there.</p>

<p>Could you send your photo my way? I want to see what the fuss is about.</p>

<p>Your very arrogant sir… very arrogant… 2010 is not even high, wahts funny THATS MY SAT score, but i never told anyone.</p>

<p>You play the guitar well but haven’t joined any musical clubs? you make no sense…</p>

<p>I wish you well, I truly feel for you, I’d probably cry if you blurted this out in a session.</p>

<p>I too wish the world was a utopia, but it is not.</p>

<p>Your so focused on fitting in, you stand out. No one fits in, they gel together</p>