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101

<p>Hey,</p>

<p>Can someone grade my essay please? Thank you.</p>

<p>@aria123 :</p>

<p>Overall good. Your examples were quality examples, despite the fact that you elaborated more from your first example than from your second. Also, prefer to use three examples rather than two. With three examples you are sure of treating the whole subject (in this case you treated it well with two examples but its just an advice.).</p>

<p>Nevertheless, your introduction was a bit two long; I think that you could have managed your time in another way: writting a short (but strong) introduction and third part (with a third example).</p>

<p>So, I would give it an 9/12.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

102

<p>Should people let their feelings guide them when they make important decisions?</p>

<p>People should let their feelings dictate important decisions. For example, movies depict many choices between cerebral and visceral. Entire eras were dedicated toward spontaneous, emotional choices. Thinking carefully and logically takes time and during that time something could be drastically changed. Several examples in movies, literature, and experience demonstrate how important it is for people’s emotional feelings to overshadow practical feelings. </p>

<p>As demonstrated in the recent Disney movie, John Carter (formerly the book, Princess of Mars), emotional choices result in everlasting contentment. John Carter was a gold miner who searched all over the world for riches until he stumbled across a teleporter of the Shang group (the Dark Side essentially), which he accidentally used to teleport onto Mars. For the first half of the movie, all he thought about was practicality, meaning no emotional choices were ever made. Later on after he fell in love with the princess of Mars he realized that his emotions were important, therefore changing his whole view on life. It was symbolically shown when he threw away his teleported charm to never return back to earth. Contrasted from the beginning where John Carter was extremely tense, rigid, and apathy, in the end he became open, visceral, and quite charming. Emotional decisions, as shown in this movie, can lead to happiness.</p>

<p>In the Mid to late-19th century, a growing population of writers started to appear known today as Romanticism Writers. During this time, authors preached about people being more spontaneous, more emotional, more feelings. One of these people was famous Ralph Waldo Emerson who wrote multiple short stories that demonstrates this belief. One of the stories was Love, which is about how practical and unemotional humans have become. He wrote that instead of looking at just facts and listing out pros and cons, just be spontaneous and do what the reader think is right. Intellect is cold, he writes. Intellect makes human base everything upon what is the more realistic, which may be a mistake one day in the future. Therefore, thinking carefully and logically can turn humans into cynical people and also make us one day regret our choices.</p>

<p>The last example of where feelings overpower logic are shown with superheros of our times. For example, Superman doesn’t save people because he thought about it for a long time and then decided that he should rescue these victims. This same applies to real life where you watch on the news these people who save people from burning cars, fast subways, and drowning children. Emotional decisions can mean life or death. Thus showing how emotional feelings can make people to do what’s right, not what’s logical.</p>

<p>Generally people believe that good decisions requires people to think hours and hours. But sometimes making those decisions spontaneously and not gather information might be the better choice. John Carter ended up as a happy man. Romanticism writers influenced readers golive based on judgement, not facts. Lastly, many people are saved thanks to emotional decisions. As shown in movies, writers, and superheroes, it is better for people to let their feelings guide them when making decisions.</p>

103

<p>Limvan:</p>

<p>Pretty good essay. It’s short, but concise. Personally I would write more and elaborate more on the introduction and the conclusion. So I’ll give you a 4/6</p>

<p>Okay, I’m going to elaborate a bit more:</p>

<p>I love your examples. But it is suggested to not talk about political opinions on the essay since your grader might be a die-hard Romney fan or vice versa. I like your word choice. I like the fluency. I just think you need to explain it a bit more.</p>

<p>Also I see you used the 12 score in 10 days formula Good!! :)</p>

104

<p>Does tradition prevent people from doing things in new or more sensible ways? (Mar 12)</p>

<p>Refusing to digress from tradition results in failing to adapt to society. Particularly, slow changing political parties reflect the truth that tradition can be detrimental to improvement.</p>

<p>For instance, the Federalist Party, let by figures such as George Washington, John Adams, and Alexander Hamilton, believed that the United States Government should be a single powerful entity that has a firm grasp on the states, and that the country should be ruled by the wealthy. As the country grew in the Revolutionary Era, the rural population increased exponentially while the aristocratic population in the Northeast saw relatively little. Support for the Antifederalist Party, which represented states rights and rule by the common man, grew. In an attempt to mitigate the growing backwoods population from voting, the Federalists passed the Alien Act, which increased the naturalization process duration to fourteen years along with the Sedition Act, which prohibited any published material that deflamed the Federalist Party, but these were repealed after Thomas Jefferson and James Madison authored the Virginia and Kentucky Resolutions that invoked the compact theory to nullify the acts. As the colonists approached the War of 1812, no Federalist had been elected since John Adams in 1796 and the party was considered dead. In the end, failure to change its platform as the demographics of the country evolved resulted in the Federalist Party’s ultimate doom.</p>

<p>Moreover, the Republican Party faces a similar challenge. Its constituents are overwhelmingly white, and its platform is unappealing to racial minorities, particularly the exponentially growing Latin American population which tends to vote Democratic. Similar to the Federalist Party, the Republican Party does not favor the middle and lower classes that American minorities statistically fall into. In the end, if the party fails to evolve its platform to benefit the middle and lower classes and the demographics continue to change like they have been in recent decades, the Republican Party will fail to achieve majorities in elections because it’s major constituent, white Americans, will become a racial minority.</p>

<p>After analyzing the Federalist and Republican Parties, one can note a common theme: failure to change traditional ideas is detrimental to oneself. </p>

<p>Was it a wise decision for me to talk about the Republican Party at all?</p>

105

<p>Hello, can someone grade mine? thanks!</p>

<p>Assignment: Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?</p>

106

<p>As humans develop better technology, our lives become simpler. We have technological innovations to do tasks from something as complex as building a house to as simple as washing the dishes. These technologies certainly make our lives easier, in that they reduce the amount of labor we have to perform. These technological advances do not necessarily make our lives better. </p>

<p>Apple Inc. is a company that started from nearly nothing, now they are a multi-billion dollar company, producing iPhones and ipads that are used all around the world. These devices certainly make our lived easier, by allowing us to call, surf the internet, send emails, and play games all at once. There is downside to this, however, as less and less people mail letters and read books and play common board games that the children of the past generation adored and cherished. Using these devices also causes eye damage and leads to a decrease in studying time for students. </p>

<p>Just like the iPhone made communication easier, cars and planes made transportation easier. This invention certainly took a huge amount of stress off the lives of humans, as people can now travel hundreds of mile in a few hours, when it would have taken days to walk the distances. However, despite the used in modern warfare have a very high capacity for destruction, making it possible to kill thousands of people at once. Planes also allow for the utilization of atomic bombs, which was demonstrated in World War II when the entire Japanese city of Hiroshima was wiped out instantly. Such catastrophic events would not have occurred if not for the mobility and convenience of planes. </p>

<p>Besides bombs and tanks, another weapon of mass killing has become a staple in human society. Millions of households across the world own at least one gun, while these guns can be valuable assets, when used for self-defense, they can also prove to be weapons of mass destruction when used inappropriately. The recent shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School left 26 people dead. The killer possessed several high-tech guns, and used more than 100 bullets in the shooting. If not such for a deadly and efficient killing machine, far less people would have died. </p>

<p>The iPhone, the automobile, and the gun all sever as examples of technology that make our lives easier, but not better. When used correctly, these machines prove to be very beneficial to society. But when mishandled, they can lead to devastating effects that can harm many people across the world.</p>

107

<p>I would give your essay a 9/12. There are a few sentences I find a bit awkward, for example "We have technological innovations to do tasks from something as complex as building a house to as simple as washing the dishes. " (the “we have technological innovations” part). Also, in your introductory paragraph, it would have been beneficial to add a transition word between the last two sentences to contrast how technology has made our lives easier, but not necessarily better.</p>

<p>In your second paragraph, you talk about how fewer people today use traditional methods of communication; however, this is not necessarily a bad thing. It would have been beneficial to include a sentence on WHY fewer people reading books etc. is bad.</p>

<p>In your next few paragraphs, you mainly talk about how technological advances have made life easier, but have also made it easier for harm to be done. I think it would have been beneficial for you to include this in the introduction and keep this as some sort of theme through the essay.</p>

<p>Please grade my essay (in the next reply!)
Sorry for the cliche examples :P</p>

108

<p>Prompt: Is it important to question authority?</p>

<p>As a society, we have come a long way in improving our lives and championing human rights. Little of this would have been possible had no one challenged their authorities. Throughout history, positive change has been brought forth by revolutionaries who dared to challenge the authorities, for example, Gandhi and Galileo.</p>

<p>Gandhi was born in imperialist India, a place that was, at the time, under the rule of the British. The British saw its colonies as sources of profit, and treated them as such. The people in India, for example, were exploited to produce textiles, spices, and salt that the British sought. Gandhi believed that this was wrong, and protested against it, gathering many supporters. When he burned his identity card, he was severly beaten by the police, however he continued his defiance. His opposition to the authorities greatly contributed to the independence of India several years later.</p>

<p>Looking further back in history, another example of a person who achieved great things by defying the authorities was Galileo. He lived during an era when the Catholic Church had the power of law, and an era where everyone believed that the Earth revolved around the Sun. However, Galileo soon discovered that the Solar System was really heliocentric. This directly opposed the views of the Church. The Church ordered him to discontinue his research. He refused. He published his findings, and was consequently put under house arrest by the Church. Because of his defiance, scientists were able to build on his ideas, and make other discoveries based on this new model.</p>

<p>Finally, the benefits of speaking out against figures of authority can appear in everyday life as well. For example, in Grade 4, I had a math test. On this math test, there was a question that was badly worded. After the test, I discovered that I had gotten the question wrong, so I informed the teacher of the potential misunderstanding that could arise from the question. She refused to hear me out, so I checked with my classmates to see who else ran into the same problem. We teamed up and confronted her together. She conceded, and declared that the question indeed was unclear, and ensured that the same misunderstanding would not happen again.</p>

<p>Though we are often hesitant to question figures of authority, it is necessary to do so in order to create beneficial change, as shown in history, with Gandhi and Galileo, as well as from personal experience.</p>

109

<p>@ orchidbloom, I would give the other essay a score of 11/12. The points are clearly presented, and there is an explanantion at the end of each paragraph describing why the example is relevant to the topic. There are smooth transitions at the beginning of each paragraph, representing a well-organized essay.</p>

110

<p>Assignment: Are there benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology, even when using it would make life easier?</p>

<p>There are benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology because when people put down their technologicaly advanced computers and cellphones, they expose themselves to a newer and healthier environment. Several examples examples from current scientific and social research clearly demonstrate that keeping technology out of your life may benefit you.</p>

<p>Although people use technology as their primary source of communication, they do not realize that behind that computer screen is a new world where people talk to each other face to face and socialize like people did many decades ago. When people communicate through, for example, texting, they are not able to read emotion, but rather meaningless words that are open to a multiplicity of misinterpretation. One might get confused when reading such messages and might begin to think that the relationship with this friend might come to an end. What most people don’t realize is that when people communicate with each other directly, rather than through technology, they are able to socialize better as well as understand each other better. When people avoid technology to communicate with each other, they are often able to save their relationship from coming to an end. Hence, by putting down our phones and avoiding technology, we are able to benefit ourselves by better understanding the people who we communicate with.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by recent scientific studies, talking too much on cell phones and using some other types of modern technology may possibly lead to cancer. The waves emitted from cell phones and computers, when in use, are harmful to the human body. These waves easily surpass the barriers our bodies create to shield us from these electronic waves. By putting down our cell phones and avoiding the use of other modern technological devices, we are able to benefit ourselves from the possible risk of getting cancer. Therefore, avoiding modern technology serves to benefit us in the long run due to the health risks we are exposed to when using some types of technology.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of communication and socialization through technology and the health risks we are expose to everyday by using technological devices, it is, indeed, beneficial for us to avoid using modern technology. If we cut down on our use of talking on phones and socializing using the Internet, we will all benefit in the long run.</p>

<p>P.S. When I wrote this, it took up the full two pages, right up to the last line.
Thanks in advance!</p>

111

<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>

<p>Knowledge is a previous tool given to us by our ancestors and encouraged progress. However, the abuse of knowledge -or simply too much of it- can become a burden to us, as shown by Oedipus Rex and the development of viruses.
In the book Oedipus Rex, the protagonist meets his downfall because of his knowledge. In the first instance, by leaving his hometown because of a prophecy. Oedipus is really fulfilling it without his own knowledge. If he had not received this information, the entire chain of events would have been prevented. He did get the burden some prophecy, and went on to indeed, kill his father and marry his mother. Furthermore, when he already gaining knowledge about himself that are so horrifying, he must gouge his eyes out. The moment Jocasta, his mother/wife begs him not to keep looking for an answer, it is clear that knowledge is a burden to both of them, and not a benefit. The human lust for the power that comes from knowledge is shown in this book to be as dangerous as it is beneficial.
Another example of the danger knowledge can inflict is the progression of viruses that constantly attack our immune systems. When antibiotics and injections were invented, they worked perfectly, killing any germ in a person´s body. Soon afterwards, these germs (viruses and bacteria) caught on and began to develop stranger and completely new variations of themselves. New medicines followed mutations, until today, we see what are known as superviruses; viruses practically indestructible, brought forth by our own knowledge and information. This knowledge has spiraled out of control, making environmental changes that we cannot handle.
Through the examples of viruses and Oedipus, it is evident that knowledge, while a blessing, is also a curse. Its power is so great that there comes a point in which we can no longer control it, therefore making it a burden, not a benefit.</p>

112

<p>Can someone grade my previous essays? I think it was like #60 or something.</p>

113

<p>Assignment:
Is knowing facts as important as understanding
ideas and concepts?</p>

<p>Throughout the long journey of life, one strives to ultimately use that knowledge to enhance and improve their prospective in the world. It is truly a necessity of the educated mind to have facts to develop their concepts and ideas which in turn increases the knowledge. Many times one would need facts to be innovative and avoid unnecessary mistakes. This can be seen in the lives of many inventors, engineers, and scientists who shaped the world we live in.
The Right Brothers, had facts from some of the old inventors who tried to create a flying machine but failed. With these facts the Right Brothers made a lot of modifications to their machines, until they made one that could fly.
Many organizations mainly operate on facts. They rely on facts to make more effective and intelligent decisions before making any move.
Isaac Newton spent months and months searching for facts before he could write his famous books which many engineers use to make calculations by using the laws found in the book itself.
As Isaac Newton once said, “I stood on the shoulders of giants.” This implies that he searched for facts; for a better view.</p>

114

<p>These essays are great, but I’m wondering if there is enough space on the answer sheet for these lengthy essays…cause I tried using the practice test answer sheet and there wasn’t enough space to write a lengthy essay, as a result my essay was that short after typing it out and posting it here…so can anyone tell me how to write a lengthy essays without running out space or anything related to it…</p>

115

<p>^Write smaller?</p>

116

<p>How did that take you the entire two sheets of paper? Are you just using one sheet?</p>

117

<p>Do things that give us great joy always give us great pain? In the twisted path of life, we face many joys, and many pains. From the earlier stages of life in childhood possessions, small games or even sports, to the later stages of life in loves, jobs and death. We are exposed to an excessive amount of pain in our lives.</p>

<p>Things that give us joy also give us pain. In the early and teen years of our lives, we feel pain from many sources. On the playground, as a very young child, there has always been that one group of kids that never let others play with them. When the child gets pushed away by someone when they only want to play, they feel the pain of being neglected. As we grow older and move away from our childhood homes, our possessions are often lost and we feel sad about the memory of them and our childhood. In sports, we feel a tremendous amount of pain, both physically and mentally. People who go competitively in sports, have to train day and night as hard as they can to achieve what they want and to attain a worldwide standard, the Olympics. However, they cannot always achieve what they want to achieve. Sometimes they just can’t show their best performance at the right times. In sports, pain is apart of everyday life.</p>

<p>Things that give us joy also give us pain. As we grow older, pain becomes a reoccurring theme in our lives. In love, there always seem to be the one person that doesn’t care for you however much you care for them. When people enter the workplace, they feel pain from doing the job they hate or from having to retire from something they love to do. They might get demoted or maybe their salary’s too low to support them or their families. There are many things in the workplace that can stress someone and cause them pain. Everything that has given joy to us has always hit us back with a form of pain along with it. Friends, family. Everyone we know will be dead. The world we thought we knew will replace itself with countless generations of people. Once the people we care about are dead, there’s nothing left other than to watch them decay in the soil and wait for our turn.
Things that give us joy also give us pain. In our entire lives, we are faced with endless and inevitable pains. It is a part of life. What matters is what we do about these pains. We can learn from them, or continue to grieve upon them. With every action, there is always an equal or opposite reaction. What we do after the pain is completely up to us, just like everything else in life.</p>

118

<p>Prompt
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.”
-Bill Cosby</p>

<p>Is trying to please people a way to achieve success or a route to failure.</p>

<p>Very often in school, we are taught to be ourselves. Bill Cosby brings up a similar lesson in his quote. Many people live their lives catering to the needs of others. Failure is a result of try to please everyone because it is crucial to be yourself and live your own life whish is evident in Walter Isaacson’s Steve Jobs and George Orwell’s “Shooting an Elephant.”</p>

<p>In Steve Jobs, Isaccson writes about the life of Jobs. In this account, many of Job’s actions and failures are because “[he] try[s] to please everyone.” When Jobs was going to college, the only reason he went was because his parents saved money their entire adult life for him to go and because his birth parents required him to go (having been adopted). A few semesters in, Jobs dropped out of college. Jobs listened to his parents and tried to please them by attending college as they had wanted. However, the plethora of success and uncanny innovation Jobs had was not because he tried to please his parents, but because he was himself, lived his own life, and made his own decisions.</p>

<p>Another example of how trying to please other people leads to failure and being yourself is important is evident in Orwell’s account of his imperialistic trip to Burma as a soldier. When an elephant went rabbid and required a soldier, Orwell scouted the situation. The myriads of Burmese people forced Orwell to make a decision which he normally wouldn’t have. Orwell ended up murdering the elephant because he was essentially trying to please the local Burmese people. The outcome of this saved the embarrassment he would have faced had he not shot the elephant, but nonetheless he killed an elephant, a very valuable animal in Burmese culture. Noteworthy is the fact that Orwell’s killing the elephant as per the wishes of the Burmese later lead to Orwell regretting his actions.</p>

<p>Overall, Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson and “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell both show how trying to please others leads to failure. Had Steve Jobs continued to please his parents and George Orwell continued to act as others had wanted him to, perhaps the multitude of innovative Apple technology we have and the encredible Novels of 1984 and Animal Farm would not be here.</p>

119

<p>Can someone grade mine? I’ll grade yours in return.
PROMPT: Can knowledge be a burden?</p>

<p>Although we often view knowledge as power or a positive thing, it can often be a burden and sometimes ignorance is bliss. This is shown through various works of literature such as in 1984 by George Orwell, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, and Macbeth by William Shakespeare.</p>

<p>In 1984, the protagonist Wilson, who works for the government, knows what others in his world do not. He is not oblivious to the government’s overly repressive and tyrannical nature. He often imagines a better life and cannot control his unorthodox thoughts which eventually leads him to deceive and attempt to rebel against the government but fails and it leads to his downfall. If he had stayed ignorant like the others, he would not have the urge to rebel. </p>

<p>Similarly, in the world of Fahrenheit 451, its people are not allowed to read or keep any books. The protagonist Guy works as a fireman - one who burns books and the houses of any found to be keeping them. While most of the people are satisfied with society and believe books are harmful, useless, and dangerous, Guy knows otherwise. He has read books and finds and consults with an old professor who he knows keeps books and knows a lot about them. However, they are discovered and persecuted because of their knowledge that they weren’t supposed to have.</p>

<p>Moreover, in Macbeth, the main character Macbeth is a national hero, filled with glory and loyalty until he meets the three witches. The witches tell him that one day he will become king and this knowledge drives him over the edge. He is no longer satisfied with his status and together with his wife the Lady Macbeth sets out to make the prophecy come true. It leads both him and his wife to near madness and ruthlessness, eventually ending in their death.</p>

<p>1984, Fahrenheit 451, and Macbeth are all examples of how knowledge is not always power but can sometimes be a burden. Knowledge can ruin someone and often have negative results. As the famous saying goes - ignorance is bliss.</p>

120

<p>should people accept unfairness and find ways to make best of it?</p>

<pre><code>Generally speaking,unfairness is unaccepted it always lead to corruption in every field of life.no one denies that we live in partially unfair world.If everyone tries to make advantage of unfairness,our world will fall in the abyss of despair,corruption and destruction.because in this world there fair and judicious men who try to end unfairness ,we live in a balanced world. in this regard ,martin luther king and franklin d . roosevelt are stricking illustrations.

  believing that racial discrimination is unfair thing, martin luther king sacrificed his his life trying to compact it throug non-violence. For instance, he led montgomery's bus boycott when an african american woman was arrested for refusing to give up her seat to a white woman.During the boycott, king was arrested and his house was bombed .Regardless of these unfair actions, king calmed the community and called foe non-violent protest as he said ''thrre will be no cross sign burned at any bus stops at montgomery. There will be no white people pulled out of their homes and taken on some distant road and lynched for not cooperating'.His leadership of civil Right Movement led to civil Right Act .this act outlawed discrimination based on color,race or gender.martin luther king was able to achieve unprecedented positve change in his life and in every African american's lifewithout making any unfair action.

 Act fairly as president means helping others to gain their rights and punish anyone would endanger the lives of his people.Franklin D. Roosevelt won the presidental elections with landslide majority.Moreover, he completely mitigated the devastatve effects of the great depression , gave hope to americans , healed the wounds aggravted the wounds by  the great depression which struck the country like a typhoon.once again his relentlless deyermination was conspicous.on the 7th of december,the japanese treacherously attacted the american navy at pearl harbor killing soldiers and destroying battleships.the impact was enormous ,but it did not snap away his will. In less than 7 months,the japanese carriers responsible for that debacle in pearl harbor were sunk in the midway. fairness can save an entire nation.


         In may point of view ,i deeply belive that unfairness can lead to nothing but destruction and corruptions and the first person to be harmed is the one who try to make the best of it.If every one just refused to act unfairly to any one ,our world would be devoid of corruption.'' you must be the change you wish to see'' said mahatma Gandii

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