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121

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>Knowledge is often considered as a solution to most of the problems in society. Nevertheless, it can be sometime better to be free of knowledge (ignorance). Several examples from history and literature works enlighten that knowledge may sometimes be a burden rather than a benefit.</p>

<p>In George Orwell’s 1984, the main protagonist, Winston Smith, is confronted to a world full of lies. In fact, the political party who practices dictatorship, the Angsoc, in his world does not feel ashamed at all about lying to all of its fellow citizens. The Angsoc, for instance, created an evil protagonist, Emmanuel Goldstein, who has been used to take full responsibility of unpopular reforms (e.g.: war). Winston, in that world was the only citizen to know the truth about the party. Despite that knowledge, he was unable to provoke any changes in the government and was doomed to live with two realities: the one granted by his party and the one coming from the truth. Therefore, knowledge was a burden for Winston Smith because it did not help him evolve in society; it made him develop a conflictual mind, which made him suffer.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by Galileo Galilei’s controversy during the 17th century: knowledge can ruin one’s life. In fact Galileo Galilei, who was a scientist and a physician. Believed in the heliocentric model: which pleaded that the Sun lied motionless in the center of the universe. His beliefs were in total contradiction with the Church’s ones: the Church opted for a geocentric model; placing the Earth at the center of the universe. To argue his beliefs, Galilei wrote a book, Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems, in which he described indirectly the theory that Church violently revoked. The reactions to this book were mostly violent reactions, because the Church did not agree to what the physician had argued. As a result, Galilei was even put in trial and later sentenced to lifetime imprisonment; which ruined his life. Thus, knowledge had only harmed Galileo’s life: it made him become detested by his contemporaries and it made him live his last moments in prison.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of George Orwell’s 1984 and Galileo Galilei’s heliocentric model controversy, one could indeed argue that knowledge can be an enormous burden. Would knowledge have had less importance, the life of the protagonist and the physician would have been better. Hopefully, knowledge in Galilei’s case was a burden only for him: it, in fact, lead to major discoveries after his painful death.</p>

<p>Thank you,</p>

<p>Grade mine i’ill grade yours.</p>

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<p>Hello to everyone. I’m taking the SAT on 26th January and I’m still working on my essays as to get at least 6-8 out of 12 on the real thing. That is because I’m constantly getting a raw score of 38-40 on the multiple choice questions and I want to make at least low 600s out of it. I’d be also pleased if anyone could tell me what are some good example besides literature to use on the SAT essay. I’m not so much into literature that’s way I would prefer to use some example from movies or those of well-known people. I know that there are many threads about it but they are mostly about literature’s examples.</p>

<p>So this is my assignment: Does true courage always require putting something that is very important to us at risk?</p>

<p>True courage always require putting something that is very important to us at risk. Sacrifice is inevitable price that one has to pay in order to accomplish desired goals. Several examples from movies and that of famous people perfectly prove that statement</p>

<p>Mahatma Ghandi was an Indian leader in the Indian Independence actions. He became a paradigm of the person who is so courageous in his actions that is able to sacrifice all he posses for a more important issue. During that time Indian society was under the government of Britons. The only way to overcome that pressure was to start a repression against the opponent. Mahatma Ghandi became a demagogue of the Indian society who inspired and encouraged whole country to start a fight against adversary. His dogged actions are nowadays remembered as those that led and enabled Indians to gain independence. But as eventually turned out he sacrificed his actions with his life and was assassinated. That perfectly shows that true courage requires any type of sacrifice.
Secondly, in the movie ,Seven Pounds’’ main character is trying to help incurably ill friends. He is gradually getting rid of his own organs in order to provide them to his ill friends. As it eventually turned out he is so passionate and resilient in his attempts to help them that he eventually dies because of lack of organs in his own organism. Nevertheless, his courage and indescribable tenaciously to help friends is never forgotten.</p>

<p>Concluding, as shown on the examples of Mahatma Ghandi and movie ,Seven Pounds’’ any type of sacrifice and act of putting something that is very important to us at risk combined with a true courage is the only way to achieve our goals in life.</p>

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<p>Hello,</p>

<p>Can you grade my essay (just before yours)? Thank you.</p>

<p>If you need examples you should read this thread : <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>On page 2-3 a list of examples is given.</p>

<p>For your essay,</p>

<p>A little bit too short and a few grammatical errors. The end of each of your paragraphes is not strong enough though you elaborate your thesis.
Review your conclusion it is not strong enough either.
Finally, I would give your essay a 6-7/12.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

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<p>Do things that give us great joy always give us great pain? In the twisted path of life, we face many joys, and many pains. From the earlier stages of life in childhood possessions, small games or even sports, to the later stages of life in loves, jobs and death. We are exposed to an excessive amount of pain in our lives.</p>

<p>Things that give us joy also give us pain. In the early and teen years of our lives, we feel pain from many sources. On the playground, as a very young child, there has always been that one group of kids that never let others play with them. When the child gets pushed away by someone when they only want to play, they feel the pain of being neglected. As we grow older and move away from our childhood homes, our possessions are often lost and we feel sad about the memory of them and our childhood. In sports, we feel a tremendous amount of pain, both physically and mentally. People who go competitively in sports, have to train day and night as hard as they can to achieve what they want and to attain a worldwide standard, the Olympics. However, they cannot always achieve what they want to achieve. Sometimes they just can’t show their best performance at the right times. In sports, pain is apart of everyday life.</p>

<p>Things that give us joy also give us pain. As we grow older, pain becomes a reoccurring theme in our lives. In love, there always seem to be the one person that doesn’t care for you however much you care for them. When people enter the workplace, they feel pain from doing the job they hate or from having to retire from something they love to do. They might get demoted or maybe their salary’s too low to support them or their families. There are many things in the workplace that can stress someone and cause them pain. Everything that has given joy to us has always hit us back with a form of pain along with it. Friends, family. Everyone we know will be dead. The world we thought we knew will replace itself with countless generations of people. Once the people we care about are dead, there’s nothing left other than to watch them decay in the soil and wait for our turn.
Things that give us joy also give us pain. In our entire lives, we are faced with endless and inevitable pains. It is a part of life. What matters is what we do about these pains. We can learn from them, or continue to grieve upon them. With every action, there is always an equal or opposite reaction. What we do after the pain is completely up to us, just like everything else in life.</p>

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<p>Assignment:“should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?”
There are several problems that may affect our nations; these problems maybe political financial or even social, but we must know hoe to stand against these dilemmas.We should be one hand and try to get upon all the obstacles that face us.I believe that one should not cry and grieve if he lost what he wants and did not achieve it,and people must take more responsibility towards what faces their nations.
History has always been and will always be a motivator because it is full of great figures;let’s take Mahatma Ghandi as an example; he achieved a lot for his country,India,he stood against the principle of “Satyagraha”.As discrimination was a problem in India,People must have stood up and fought against it.
As I said before that history is a powerful motivator even for current generations, so we must take the twenty fifth of January Egyptian revolution as an example,All the Egyptian citizens stood up against a wrong system and said “NO”;they achieved what they wanted because they were one hand and they will always be.
As we can see that responsibility towards our communities is an international internal sensation.It is not only in Indians ,Egyptians or in a specific nation,but it is in all humans. We see the old American discrimination between the black and white people;the black people were humiliated and scolded through their lives,but by holding all their hands together they achieved the unapproachable leaded by many activists as Rosa Parks and Frederick Douglass.
All in all, standing against our nations problems is a duty because we are humans;we all have the same organs and we all have hearts.We must think with our hearts and see that nothing is impossible.Everything can be achieved.</p>

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<p>To make this easier and so that people actually get their essays graded, if you post an essay, grade the essay before yours.</p>

<p>@Omar:
5/12</p>

<p>Your examples need a lot more elaboration. You mention the Egyptian revolution for example, but give no details. What did they oppose? How did they oppose? What did their success look like? For the Gandhi example: What is “Satyagraha”? What did Gandhi achieve? Near the end, you also mention Rosa Parks and Frederick Douglass, but give no explanation as to who they are and what they did. Next time, try to pick 2-3 examples you know A LOT about, and focus on developing them further.</p>

<p>Grammar also needs some work. There are quite a few awkward/incorrect sentences, for example:
“History has always been and will always be a motivator because it is full of great figures;let’s take Mahatma Ghandi as an example; he achieved a lot for his country,India,he stood against the principle of “Satyagraha”.”
This is a major run-on sentence.</p>

<p>See next post for my essay.</p>

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<p>Assignment: Are there benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology, even when using it would make life easier?</p>

<p>There are benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology because when people put down their technologicaly advanced computers and cellphones, they expose themselves to a newer and healthier environment. Several examples examples from current scientific and social research clearly demonstrate that keeping technology out of your life may benefit you.</p>

<p>Although people use technology as their primary source of communication, they do not realize that behind that computer screen is a new world where people talk to each other face to face and socialize like people did many decades ago. When people communicate through, for example, texting, they are not able to read emotion, but rather meaningless words that are open to a multiplicity of misinterpretation. One might get confused when reading such messages and might begin to think that the relationship with this friend might come to an end. What most people don’t realize is that when people communicate with each other directly, rather than through technology, they are able to socialize better as well as understand each other better. When people avoid technology to communicate with each other, they are often able to save their relationship from coming to an end. Hence, by putting down our phones and avoiding technology, we are able to benefit ourselves by better understanding the people who we communicate with.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by recent scientific studies, talking too much on cell phones and using some other types of modern technology may possibly lead to cancer. The waves emitted from cell phones and computers, when in use, are harmful to the human body. These waves easily surpass the barriers our bodies create to shield us from these electronic waves. By putting down our cell phones and avoiding the use of other modern technological devices, we are able to benefit ourselves from the possible risk of getting cancer. Therefore, avoiding modern technology serves to benefit us in the long run due to the health risks we are exposed to when using some types of technology.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of communication and socialization through technology and the health risks we are expose to everyday by using technological devices, it is, indeed, beneficial for us to avoid using modern technology. If we cut down on our use of talking on phones and socializing using the Internet, we will all benefit in the long run.</p>

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<p>Prompt (same :P): Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities (v.s. the government should)?</p>

<p>While it is tempting to assign the task of solving our problems to our government, this is not always the correct thing to do. It is important that we work towards a solution ourselves. By taking initiative, people can ensure that decisions are made in their best interest, while also maintaining self-sufficiency.</p>

<p>For example, during the Nazi occupation of northern France, a puppet governmnent was installed in the south. Though it was established under the premise of allowing the French in the area to rule themselves, the government was really loyal to the Gernmans. When corruption in the country became more apparent, the people decided to take action, by starting their own resistance movements. They did not simply wait for their government or the governments of other Allied poswers to rescue them. The resistance movements quickly gained momentum, and greatly reduced the Nazi’s ascendancy over the area through attacks on factories and transportation lines. The liberation of France in 1944 was made possible by the intelligence gathered by these movements. Thus, by taking action, the people of France were able to achieve their goal of expelling the Nazis.</p>

<p>Just like the French people during WWII, African-Americans also had a government that did not have their best interests in mind. At the time, African-Americans were openly discriminated against and had few of the opportunities that white Americans had. However, instead of looking to their government for change, they created change. Rosa Parks, for example, resisted traditional etiquette when she refused to give up her seat to a white man. This act led to a public outroar that pushed for equal rights for black people If she had been complacent, and simply waited for the government to bring about change, these rights would not have been recognized.</p>

<p>Though today, we often look to the government to solve our problems, this is not always the solution. As seen from the examples of the African-American rights movement and the Nazi occupation of France, governments do not always have everyone’s best interests in mind. To have change, we must create it ourselves.</p>

<p>Edit: Awkward, there’s an essay in between my 2 posts XD</p>

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<p>Bumppppppp</p>

130

<p>Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money fame or power?
BB PRACTICE TEST 5 ESSAY
Countless times in the history of humanity, the theory that conscience is more powerful than money, fame, and power has been proven true. In both instances in history, and works of fiction, conscience is deemed the dominant motivator.</p>

<p>In the American Revolution, their was no paid, standing army representing the patriots, unlike the British, whose well regulated army was the formidable in the world. Every patriot soldier was a volunteer in the revolution. And their pay was either useless fiat currency, or nothing at all. The patriot soldiers were motivated by a greater cause than money or power: their conscience, and their morality. They were motivated by the words of Jefferson and Paine, that all men have unalienable god-given rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and that any government that tries to stifle these rights had to be abolished. Their moral motivation led them to triumph over the British oppressors who fought not for their conscience, but for pay and power.</p>

<p>In the novel To Kill A Mockingbird, an African American named Tom Robinson is accused of raping a white woman in 1930’s Alabama. Though the evidence against him is flimsy at best, nearly the entire community presumes his guilt. His lawyer is a man named Atticus Finch, a man who loses the respect of his neighbors and collegues to defend a man he knows in his conscience is innocent. He rejects pay from Tom Robinson’s family, as he knows they are too poor to pay him. He tarnishes his entire reputation to defend Tom Robinson because he knows in his conscience that it is the only morally right thing to do.</p>

<p>Money, fame, and power, though powerful motivators of human behavior, are not nearly as powerful a motivator as a person’s conscience, whether in defending innocence, or fighting for freedom.</p>

<p>Much obliged</p>

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<p>Is knowing facts as important as understanding ideas and concepts?
Ideas and concepts are a very important part of our life. Ever since we were born, we have been taught to do certain activities; however we learned them from watching other people and then getting the idea of it, not by learning something from a book. Facts make something unquestionable, even though they may change from time to time, whereas understanding concepts makes a person understand the inner workings of an object or a theory and whether it is plausible or not.
The disproved theory of the sun revolving around the earth was at one point considered a fact. Those who just learned this from a book and never researched what was behind it in the end were less intelligent, in comparison to those who did. Galileo was someone who did learn the concept and was thus able to understand why it was not correct and thus proved to us our current theory of the solar system.
Now let us take the theory of an expanding universe, for many centuries scientists believed that the universe was static, even those like Einstein. This was so, because these people were fed these facts from a book and never explained the concept behind it, by their teachers. Due to this they were not able to understand that it was incorrect, Einstein even included this flawed concept in his famed theory of relativity just because he believed that a static universe had to exist.
In conclusion, the circular motion of the earth around the sun is proof that understanding concepts is more paramount in increasing our intellectual capacity. All modern-day discoveries validate this opinion because we can introduce new ideas on concepts whereas we cannot introduce new ideas on facts unless we understand them.</p>

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<p>Hi, Sorry I’m new here so I don’t really know how these posts work, but I need someone to grade my essay?
This was actually my third go at the SAT essay. (i’ve never had anyone grade my SAT essays before, so give as much feed back as you can please!)
Here’s the prompt</p>

<p>Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences?</p>

<p>Good choices are less likely to have negative consequences. Because good choices are made only when one takes time to look at things from a different perspective, one would see the possible consequences from the choices and be better prepared for them. This can be seen throughout American history, from the good choices made by Henry Clay and Thomas Jefferson and the bad choice made by Woodrow Wilson.
When the Articles of Conderation seemed to be failing, the new leaders could not decide on the balance of state representatives in creating a new government. Men from the smaller states wanted representatives by state, while men from states with more population wanted representatives by poulation. Luckily, Henry Clay thought of having two houses, each state would select representatives based on population for the house of representatives, benefiting those with more population, and each would also select two to be in the electoral house, benefitting those with less population. Because Henry Clay had stepped back and looked at things objectively, he was able to make a good decision. Furthermore, because Clay made a good decision, both bigger states and smaller states were satisfied.
Good decisions were made later on in America’s newly established government by Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson was a well known representative of of a strict interpretation of the constitution. When he disputed with Hamilton over the establishment of a central bank, he stood strongly for the strict interpretation of the constitution–which did not grant governments the right to establish a central bank. However, when Napolean offered Louisianna for a cheap price, Jefferson made a prudent decision to abandon his earlier stance. Although the constitution did not grant him the right to purchase territory, he saw that an expansion of territory would better his nation. Because Jefferson made the prudent decision to abandon his earlier views, the Americans thrived in expansion.
On the other hand, President Woodrow Wilson did not make a good choice and so the Americans jad to suffer the dire consequences. When the World War I broke out, Wilson came up with fourteen points, one of which established the League of Nations. However, when war ended, the Senate refused to ratify the League of Nations because it did not want congress to give up the right to declare war for the expense of other nations’ wars. Wilson could have abandon clause ten of the this point and still convince congress to join the League of Nations. However, wilson decided that he wanted all or nothing and so the US fell into the state of isolutionism–eventually causing WWII.
Throughout American history, we have seen the results of good and bad choices. When leaders recognize the consequences of their choices, they more often make better choices and America would prosper. However, when leaders fail to make good decisions, America suffer dire consequences.</p>

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<p>Prompt: Do people need to compare themselves with others in order to appreciate what they have?
Essay: Comparison is a psychological tendency that one cannot avoid no matter how hard one tries. We are always comparing ourselves to others, sometimes without even realizing it. But does this tendency to compare teach us to appreciate what we have at our disposal? I think so. I was led to believe this due to what happened to me a few years back.
My parents and I were out at a restaurant one weekend. We hadn’t had dinner out at a fancy restaurant for quite a while, and I was extremely excited. So here we were at the restaurant skimming through our menus. I really wanted to try the beef steak as it was a specialty of that place. But my mother, who was pregnant at that time and immensely hormonal, insisted on vegetarian food. Her condition made her wishes a priority for my dad and we settled on having plain old vegan instead. I must admit I was furious at having to make this sacrifice. Hence, the entire time we were there, I picked on my food.
Why I was sulking, I noticed through the glass windows next to me that a waiter of the restaurant was giving away some food in a Ziplock bag, perhaps leftovers, to a shabby looking man, presumably a bum. That was when my perspective started to shift. I compared myself to that beggar. I was much better off that he. At least I had a plate full of food right before my eyes. That poor man probably didn’t even know if he could have breakfast the next day. He had to rely on luck.
The incident with the beggar got me thinking and I forgot about my desire of having a steak. I was rather grateful to God for at least having a plate fool of expensive food, whereas that man was presumably eating mere leftovers, sitting in an alley or someplace worse. This comparison made me appreciate the food in front of me and I immediately began chomping it. For some reason, the vegetable dish tasted ethereal to me at that moment.
If I hadn’t compared myself that evening to the poor man, I would never had realized the importance of what I had at my disposal. I believe that when human beings are depressed over what little amount of belongings they have, they should compare themselves to others who are far more deprived than than they are. This instills a sense of gratification in them for what they have rather than lamenting over what could have been. Indeed, comparison helps us appreciate our possessions.</p>

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<p>Prompt: Do people need to compare themselves with others in order to appreciate what they have?
Essay: Comparison is a psychological tendency that one cannot avoid no matter how hard one tries. We are always comparing ourselves to others, sometimes without even realizing it. But does this tendency to compare teach us to appreciate what we have at our disposal? I think so. I was led to believe this due to what happened to me a few years back.
My parents and I were out at a restaurant one weekend. We hadn’t had dinner out at a fancy restaurant for quite a while, and I was extremely excited. So here we were at the restaurant skimming through our menus. I really wanted to try the beef steak as it was a specialty of that place. But my mother, who was pregnant at that time and immensely hormonal, insisted on vegetarian food. Her condition made her wishes a priority for my dad and we settled on having plain old vegan instead. I must admit I was furious at having to make this sacrifice. Hence, the entire time we were there, I picked on my food.
Why I was sulking, I noticed through the glass windows next to me that a waiter of the restaurant was giving away some food in a Ziplock bag, perhaps leftovers, to a shabby looking man, presumably a bum. That was when my perspective started to shift. I compared myself to that beggar. I was much better off that he. At least I had a plate full of food right before my eyes. That poor man probably didn’t even know if he could have breakfast the next day. He had to rely on luck.
The incident with the beggar got me thinking and I forgot about my desire of having a steak. I was rather grateful to God for at least having a plate fool of expensive food, whereas that man was presumably eating mere leftovers, sitting in an alley or someplace worse. This comparison made me appreciate the food in front of me and I immediately began chomping it. For some reason, the vegetable dish tasted ethereal to me at that moment.
If I hadn’t compared myself that evening to the poor man, I would never had realized the importance of what I had at my disposal. I believe that when human beings are depressed over what little amount of belongings they have, they should compare themselves to others who are far more deprived than than they are. This instills a sense of gratification in them for what they have rather than lamenting over what could have been. Indeed, comparison helps us appreciate our possessions.</p>

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<p>Thanks a lot .
“Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive.
People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.”
-Assignment: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. -</p>

<p>we all prefer to have a private life without other people judging ,however i do believe that expressing your ideas even though most of the community seam not to accept them proves the strong personality you have. We are living just once so we have to make it worthy and express our thoughts freely , because we are born free in the first place and fearing others attitude has nothing to do with freedom!
To support my thesis ,I would illustrate it with this exemple.I have been the shyest girl in the school . I used to keep my thought and beliefs burried inside . I never have the courage to say loud and in front of people what i really think about one topic or another . Instead I have chosen the easiest path where you don’t have to affront judgemntal people and justify your attitude .Wether i call it surrender or submission it is the weakest part of my personality . In my 10th grade , Nada ,a friend of mine, who was the prettiest girl in school with all the trendy clothes she has and the make-up she wore the whole school used to abide by her wishes . All she said has to be approved . One day ,Nada was bored so she suggested to make fun of one of our colleagues .Teasing people was so Nada style . She pointed her finger on a girl that i used to befriend in the 7th grade and told me to steal her medecines . I was extremly aginst this idea; I hate to mistreat people and i strongly believe tha humanity is brotherhood but i did what she asked me to anyway . I feared tat i would never be her friend anymore . I hide my thoughts and abided by her wishes.Then , at midday the young girl was looking for her medicines and started crying and coughing and i still remember nada 's laughter and i was crippled seeing tears on the girls cheak , wordless , useless as i always used to be by hiding the real me i witnessed the girl suffering.
This exemple illustrate how important to say what you really think because your thoughts reflect you and make you who you are .</p>

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<p>bump!!! so good!</p>

137

<p>"Honesty is important, of course, but deception can actually maake it easier for people to get along. In a recent study, for example, one out of every four of the lies told by participants was told solely for the benefit of another person. In fact, most lies are harmless social untruths in which people pretend to like someone or something more than they actually do.</p>

<p>Is deception ever justified?</p>

<pre><code> Even though lies and deception can provide short term benefits, on the long term it will reveal itself to be an unviable option. We can see this by taking a closer look at the recent Lance Armstrong debacle or the play Othello or, furthermore, my friend who tried to cheat on an exam. As you will see, all these examples combine to show that deceit is never an option.

 Lance Armstrong used to be considered as the best cyclist in the world, having won several Tour de France championships until the world discovered he had used doping several times to enhance his physical capabilities. Doping himself gave him the short term satisfaction of winning the tour de france but on the long term, people eventually found out and he was stripped of his titles. Before people looked at him as a hero but now people only see him as a cheater. The question to ask is was it worth it? Was being world's best cyclist for some time worth being deceitful? No, it wasn't. Lance Armstrong can never go back, it's over and he is finished.
 One of the greatest villains of al time, Iago from Othello, also happened to be the most deceitful character I have ever read about. His actions and his lies lead to the fall of Othello and to the death of both Cassio and Desdemona. Iago is a multi faceted character who manipulates people, like a true Machiavellian villain, to obtain what he desires. In othello, the pros obviously outweigh the cons. Iago had to destroy several lifes for a petty position which makes me come back to the question was it worth it? Again, No. Deceit cannot be justified if it involves destroying other peoples lives. Also, Iago did this all for really not that much and for very simplistic reasons. 
 Finally, I would like to talk about one of my friends who tried to cheat on his finals. My friend was one of those guys who likes to have fun and simply hates studying. He is one of those who takes shortcuts and is extremely lazy. One day, he decided he was going to take shortcut for his math final. On that day there must've been at least 1000 students taking the test in our immense gymnasium. They had to hire more proctors just for that day. My friend was going to hire a math genius to take the test for him. He mislead everyone into thinking that the math pro was actually him. Unfortunately for him, that didn't last very long. you see the other kid got him a perfect score which seemed very unlikely. The teacher asked him to retake the test. He scored a 66%. The teacher realized what he did and he was expelled. As you see, once again, it was not worth it.
To conclude,, through the Armstrong example, through Iago, and through my friend's story, it is easy to see that honesty is a better policy than deceit. Deceit might be good on the short term, but on the long term it never is. Being deceitful is never worth it and karma will make sure it always comes back to you.

</code></pre>

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<p>“People generally prefer originality to imitation, which is often considered inferior and second-rate. However, we have learned most of what we know by imitating others. Mastering any skill or gaining any knowledge means that we must learn from those who have gone before us. In fact, it is not until we have imitated others and learned from them what there is to know that we can strike out on our one and maybe create something new.”</p>

<p>Prompt: Is it necessary for people to imitate others before they can become original and creative?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<pre><code> It is necessary for people to imitate others before they become original and creative. People must learn the basic knowledge of things and start learning as a child by imitating adults. There are many famous people who show their originality by starting out imitating others.

Authors are one of category of original set of people. They create their own original stories, so readers will not get bored with reading the same things over and over again. Before they can even start writing and being creative, they first need to know how to write. To learn how to write, the authors learn to trace and copy letters and words from their teachers. As, they grow older, they start to imitate and learn the correct way to use grammer and improve story writing. Authors like J.K Rowling start out like this and grow to create original works like the Harry Potter series.

Inventors are also like authors. They must understand certain knowledge before they can invent something original. The inventor of the cellphone must understand and learn to imitate a telephone first before he can even start the creation of the cellphone. The inventor must imitate the function of telephone and understand the function before creating the original cell phone.

The people that want to be create and show originality must start by imitating something that has already been made. Authors imitate their teachers on how to write. Inventors must imitate past inventors in order to create something original. Originality must stem from imitation.
</code></pre>

<p>Edit: This is a friend’s essay, not mine.</p>

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<p>@Remi56783</p>

<p>Introduction was great and your thesis was amazing as well. Your thesis was very effective in informing the reader about what was ahead in your body paragraphs.</p>

<p>Your examples of Othello and Lance Armstrong were good but I thought your last example wasn’t that great.</p>

<p>Your conclusion was good too. It was brief and summarized everything to support your position.</p>

<p>Score: 4/6</p>

140

<p>@Jackster2014</p>

<p>First of all thank you for your response to my essay.</p>

<p>As for your essay I would suggest writing a stronger thesis that explains why “It is necessary for people to imitate others before they become original and creative”. Adding a because will strengthen your overall thesis.</p>

<p>As for your examples, I suggest giving concrete examples of people rather than quickly mentioning them at then end of a paragraph.</p>

<p>Overall i would say this essay would have gotten a 2 or a 3 out 6.</p>