<p>YIPPEE!! Congrats, you must feel so much better.</p>
<p>buckeyemom - that's wonderful! I'm so glad things are turning around. Good for you, and good for your daughter. I wish you and your D the absolute best of luck in the future. Please keep us all posted.</p>
<p>It's nice to hear that the story has an encouraging middle.</p>
<p>That is really great news. I am glad that both you and her took a proactive approach. Sometimes when a new experience gets off to a poor start it is difficult to see the positives or find a way to seek them out. I assume her RA was helpful and I hope my suggestion to attend something like the SWE meetings was helpful.</p>
<p>Just wanted to let everyone know that D is doing quite well. Conversations are sounding more positive. Counseling appt. gave her some more direction for outlets. Has become active in a group or two. Thanks and hope this thread will help others.</p>
<p>That's great.</p>
<p>Just an update--classes have been a little rough since last I posted. I did get her to join this website!! But in viewing your post--they responses she receives are not very helpful at all. She expressed the same concerns she has with me and the response was like "don't quite know what you mean, Im not like you" and "wait until football season". She's not that into football, but I guess "that's the only reason to go to the school?". I think joining is not going to give her the relief that I have at CC. Not sure!!</p>
<p>Buckeyemom, my son had a rocky 4 years at college, and there were times that I did not think he would make it. Though he did, he was not happy about a lot of aspects of the school he chose. Perhaps,he has not grown up enough to fit the life he now has, as he is not very happy about much of anything. He truly wants to play his way through life and is resentful he is not a scion of Rockefellow. Totally unrealistic thinking, but unfortunatiely, the way he is. And there are many like him. I just hope he finds an equilibrium and learns to create his own joy. </p>
<p>Your daughter is in a school that offers it all. She needs to find a niche for herself. Or she need to find a niche for herself elsewhere, but she needs to know herself better and what she wants better for her to take the steps to tranfer herself out. No big deal--kids do it all of the time. But to pick blindly is asking for another misfit. It seems to me that she has found that the carnival atmosphere of the football season is what she enjoys, which is just fine. Many people live for the football season. You do have to live the rest of the year as well, however, and that is something your D needs to learn to do. Not always easy learning to enjoy ones life despite the fact that it is not the way you like it.</p>
<p>It doesn't help I suppose that winter in Ohio is kind of dreary. Waking up to a white world the other day was depressing me here as I am sooo convinved that winter is over! :-)</p>
<p>Spring at OSU is a very cheery place to be. People out everywhere. Hope that helps her as it IS right around the corner. Is she going anywhere for Spring Break?</p>
<p>jamimom---daughter does live for the "football season" at school, I think you misunderstood my post. that is the response SHE has received from posting in CC. also, she has done research on transferring and if that is the decision she decides to make, Im here to give her the support she needs. </p>
<p>As for spring, i think she will at least finish our her freshman year since it too is around the corner. She may decide to leave the campus and transfer or just move to another part of the campus, she is keeping her options open. She has joined and participated in a few of the organizations and activities the college has to offer that are of interest to her. I guess what I was hoping for was that since I have joined CC I recieve some positive outlook on her situation from others who have great advice for me to share with my D, and that she would have received a similar experience from others here as well. That, so far has not been the case and to her it is just a closed door for talking to someone other than me about how she feels about school. I don't want her to have "4 rocky years of college" as stated early. I wish for her to use this freshman year to find out more about her independance and what she is capable of doing for herself and receiving a great education at the same time. She has ups and downs and to her her "downs" are very low. But no matter what she decides, I tell her the decisions that you make are yours to make for yourself, no one else. Think them through and if you are happy with them, that's all that I want for her.</p>
<p>Is your D posting on the kid's forums? That could explain the advice. The kids can be very harsh. Flippant. Not sure I'd recommend their forums, in fact.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear the second semester isn't any better. I think you are doing the right thing in supporting her decisions--whatever they may be. Soemtimes when I shake my head about my S, I tell myself, "Well, that's just his story. I don't know his whole story. I am not him."</p>
<p>We are so bound by the pathos of the American success story that we forget how bumpy life is! REading biographies is a good reminder. I'm reading deKooning's biography. He was a terrible drunk and philanderer--and one of the most amazing painters of his generation. That was his story. </p>
<p>Have you seen the "Ray" movie? He was a terrible heroin addict and philanderer--and one of the musical geniuses of his generation. </p>
<p>There are terrible dark abysses in some lives--and sometimes those dark reaches accompany a brilliant talent. It isn't possible to protect our college students from those dark days. </p>
<p>It isn't possible to know our children's stories in advance. </p>
<p>My parents never would have predicted my story. Never. Their view of me was so limited--as my view of my Ss is limited by my own fear.</p>
<p>I'm sorry she is still not enjoying her environment. She is fortunate to have you there to discuss her issues and back her up should she decide to transfer. Many kids do find themselves in an environment at college that they do not like. Some stick it out, some decide to leave. Don't know of any poll that gives the results of either decision in terms of quality of life. I know Garland, a poster on this forum, has a daughter who transferred from a big school to a small one, and that really made the difference. There are kids i know, however who have transferred and were as unhappy at their new choice. And there are also many who, in retrospect, are much happier than they were when they were living those days. I found that out at my 30 year reunion. In my son's case, I think he was carrying much of the burden of unhappiness on his own back and it would not have mattered where he went. My daughter is unhappy about some circumstances that did not go her way. For her it is, I believe, a temporal issue though it may have helped to have picked a different college. But you just can't predict everything. </p>
<p>Let us know how she feels at the end of the year. When she gets through all of this, hopefully she can help others in the same situation. She certainly is not alone.</p>
<p>God bless.
Jami</p>
<p>It has been quite a while since I've posted--but here is a small update: D is hanging in there, really getting involved with activities of the campus--didn't come home for springbreak instead attended a convention for engineers! Made new friends and is doing pretty good. Still has ups and downs, but wants to finish out at OSU. Taking ownership of her life and moving forward. Forums like these are good for parents and students alike. Thanks for prayers</p>
<p>Fantastic result. Give her a pat on the back and a good job! Way too hang tough. This a truly big victory in this struggle to maturity and ultimate self-sufficiency.</p>
<p>I am just wondering how it worked out for your daughter. My daughter has not been happy since she started college a couple of years ago. She went out of state for a year and then came home to a local college but she is still hating nearly every minute of it.</p>
<p>Buckeyemom hasn’t posted to CC since the last one you see there, April 2005. You can always open your own thread about your daughter. Good luck</p>